Suffering silently {not my strong point}

A delightful person I’ve met on line is Tanya Marlow. This week it dawned on me that when I read her writing I hear it with an American accent but that’s not how she speaks as she is Brittish. She blessed me twice this week. First by listing me as one of the top 30 Christian blogs she recommends. {I’m not quite sure what to say about such lists because I feel the whole gamut of emotions — humbled, excited, a bit out of body, and honored.} Pop over and “have a look” as we say in China.

The second way she blessed me is allowing me to be the final guest poster in a series she’s running on God and suffering. To let you know a little bit about her interest in this topic I’ll share this from her about page (but I’ll also add that Tanya writes on a wide range of topics):

I (Tanya) have had M.E. (myalgic encephalomyelitis) for over 6 years. For the past two years (at the time of writing) it has worsened to the extent that I am almost entirely housebound, needing to spend a large portion of the day in bed. My energy limitations mean I can only leave the house approximately once a week, for a couple of hours. I have limited mobility (I need a wheelchair for outside the house) and I have limited cognitive energy.

Back to me. It’s been a powerful series to follow and I’d also recommend you poke around her site and read some of entries. You can read more of them when you pop over to read my guest post … hint, hint, wink, wink :)

gutted fish

From my post at Tanya’s:

But then something happened and I was thrown into the deep end of suffering, complicated all the more because it wasn’t appropriate to share (and most likely will not be).

I’m not talking about times when The Accuser whispers, “Shame, shame, you cannot share this. Others will not love you and will think poorly of you. Hide this.” This wasn’t a secret that needed light to shine in on darkness, exposing it to truth. This was a private path to walk alone.

I felt like a fish being gutted. The sharp knife of suffering slicing into my belly and pulling out that which sustained me, leaving the outside intact. I wanted it to be public, so that others could at least acknowledge what I was experiencing was real, was painful, was changing parts of me in ways I knew simply could not “return to normal” afterwards. But continue reading here 

Q4U: What has helped you suffer silently (or most silently than normal)? Who/what has blessed you this week?

P.S. A BIG thank you to Tanya!

Comments

  1. Tanya Marlow says:

    Thanks so much for the shoutout! It has been an honour to bless you this week! (See how I spell honour properly, thus helping you to sound out my ever-so-Britishy voice) It was lovely to hear yours on the video, quavers and all. :-)

    • Mark Allman says:

      I ve told Tanya that she needs to do a vlog every once in a while to bless us with hearing her British voice.

    • Tanya, you’ll appreciate that most of the English textbooks in China use British English but are taught by Americans :). I’ve learned to say “in hospital” with the best of them!

  2. Hey Amy,

    This has been an interesting journey that I’ve just recently begun, and right now I’m struggling with the whole “suffering silently” issue. Are we really supposed to suffer silently? I don’t know. I do know we’re instructed to allow the elders to anoint us with oil. Is that applicable only to people suffering with a physical illness? And what about the body concept, that when one member suffers, all members suffer with him or her? If the other members don’t know about my suffering, how are they going to be able to lift me up?

    To answer your second question, it would take me far too long to list all the people who have blessed me this week, including you! Thanks!

    • Hey Mike,

      If you just read the “hook,” I can see how you might have the impression that I think all suffering should be silent … I don’t! And your situation is one very much to be share with and born by the body! I’m praying for you. Amy

  3. “Father you need to guard my tongue or shout my mouth completely !” This is something that I have worked very hard into my thought process especially when I know things can go nasty because of my short temper & quick tongue. I have gotten into a habit of trying to say this every morning and definitely when I find myself in s situation that may not end well. I definitely say it when I am tired. So for this week I have said it a lot. It has kept me out of trouble and has helped me stay silent so that I do not misrepresent the Father.

    A co-teacher blessed me by sharing her lunch that she made with me this week. Also my students by the way they smile at me in class when they are working especially today. This is a blessing because I have had them do a ton of writing this week in preparation for exams. The warmth & kindness in their eyes & smile has been reassuring.

    See that is how you spell ‘honour’ , so now you can hear it with the right accent. ( big grin on my face)

  4. Amy wrote: “The sharp knife of suffering slicing into my belly and pulling out that which sustained me, leaving the outside intact.”

    What powerful imagery! And having been done a severe road of suffering for 30+ years, this captures one crucial aspect of that life.Your words are not only true, but powerful and insightful.

    Thank you, Amy.

    • Rich! So nice to see your name pop up here! I’ve been wondering how you are. And I can’t imagine 30+ years. Wow. I will pray that you may continue to bear your burden. Amy

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