It was the oddest sensation. We’ve all had it, an awareness of someone not liking us. Even in Eden, I don’t believe we’d be best friends with everyone. Here in Eden Lost we have been cursed with rejection that isn’t a mere rejection of an idea or dinner suggestion. But a rejection of who we are.
I didn’t realize that I was used to being liked by people around me until my teammate in China didn’t seem to like me. She tolerated me, worked with me, prayed with me, taught with me. But I didn’t sense she enjoyed me.
Again, this isn’t earth shattering news. Do you like everyone you know? I don’t.
The problem was … we were the only two on the team. Where do you go when the only other person from your culture doesn’t enjoy you? After one year together, I finally said, “I don’t think you like me and I’m not used to not being liked and I’m not sure what to do with that. And there are only two of us. Things aren’t bad being your teammate, but I don’t think I can take another year like last year.”
We worked hard on our relationship and revisited that conversation at least one more time. I do not blame my teammate! Can you imagine being teamed with someone for multiple years that you just don’t click with? It was no cake walk for her either.
In our stumbling, lunging towards and away from each other, we both were transformed and grown.
It was not the first time I had tasted not being accepted, but it went on the longest. As the days ebbed into weeks which bled into months, I was able to name what I was feeling. Rejection and insecurity in who I was.
Acceptance is about being seen, really seen, and not having to dress up or hide or pretend that you are more or less than you are. Think of all of the ways that acceptance is going to permeate Eden Regained – we will accept ourselves, we will accept each other, we will feel accepted and delighted in, we will have differences that won’t separate, instead they will differentiate.
And we will truly be acceptable! Maker of Eden, thank you for the reminder.
All the posts in the series will be added to this page each day of October. If you would like to receive these reminders in your email inbox, it’s easy! You can subscribe now by entering your email where it says “Jump into the Mess!” I am enjoying the journey together. Amy