In September I attended a conference called Debriefing and Renewal (DAR) for people who served overseas and are either leaving the field or going on Home Assignment/Furlough.
It was a rich and worthwhile time, in part because DAR helped to clarify my thinking and confirm some of the Lord’s leading. As much as I’d like a clear plan and direction, this year is being used to create space between “China Amy” and “What’s next Amy.” For the sake of not looking foolish, I’d rather hurry along through this phase; but that doesn’t seem to be the plan.
On the first day of DAR we had to draw a picture representing where we were. I drew a road ending in a forest and I was standing at the end of it, smiling. It symbolized I had come off of a clearly defined life path that wound here and there, but as long as I stayed on the path it kept moving along. I am now in this lesser defined part of life (I am smiling in the picture, it’s not horrible, but it is not clear) and here I am in the forest of life. In the picture, amongst the trees are dollar signs.
I can monitor my stress level during transition by how concerned I am about money. While the deep foundation that God has the cattle on a thousand hills IS my foundation, there I days I wonder how many cattle will be on my hill.
Turns out, “money worries” can be a pretty good barometer when it comes to how I’m doing with trusting God about the future. They are not often, but there are nights I wake in the middle with my stomach hurting and churning and I know the root isn’t physical.
I am learning to lean into those moments and trying to receive them as a gift from my body. A gift that says, right now, even subconsciously, something less than Eden-esque is going on in you. Don’t feel bad that you still have these moments, instead see them as ways to let know of certainty and move towards the unknown.
I have a feeling money is going to be a trust trigger in some fashion throughout my life.
And you know what, if it wasn’t money, it’s would be something else. Right? Right. We each have them. Mine is money. What’s yours?
The year with trust … thus far:
January whispered trust uses both hands. She holds the present in one hand and the long view in the other.
February joined in with trust can build a bridge others walk on.
March offered a legal life lesson. Trust doesn’t happen in a vacuum; ultimately trust is about relationships, valuables, and legacy.
April (with taxes) reminded me we all have trust triggers and mine is money.
The subscription drive continues!
To enter either sign up or pass on the word about the subscription drive (you can enter up to five times) — next drawing April 25th! And a chance to win 0ne of these beautiful canvases by Emily
Here’s the deal for the link-up:
- Every third Tuesday I’ll host a link up. Trust + Tuesday + Third = three T’s and I don’t have to mark my calendar with different dates! Just remember TTT. The next one will be on May 20th and you can get more details here. The link up will be open for one week, after one week, you’ll need to wait until the next month.
- Please link back the link-up, either by using the Trusting Tuesday picture or simply a text link.
- I’ve also started a Pinterest Oneword365 board and want it to be a community board (meaning let’s have our Oneword365 posts all in one place!). Check it out!
- If you miss a month, don’t beat yourself up. This will go on for the next twelve months and isn’t meant to overload you or make you feel guilty. We’re going to be a group of cheerleaders.