Trusting Tuesdays {Oneword365 Linkup}: Know your triggers

In September I attended a conference called Debriefing and Renewal (DAR) for people who served overseas and are either leaving the field or going on Home Assignment/Furlough.

It was a rich and worthwhile time, in part because DAR helped to clarify my thinking and confirm some of the Lord’s leading. As much as I’d like a clear plan and direction, this year is being used to create space between “China Amy” and “What’s next Amy.” For the sake of not looking foolish, I’d rather hurry along through this phase; but that doesn’t seem to be the plan.

Triggers

On the first day of DAR we had to draw a picture representing where we were. I drew a road ending in a forest and I was standing at the end of it, smiling. It symbolized I had come off of a clearly defined life path that wound here and there, but as long as I stayed on the path it kept moving along. I am now in this lesser defined part of life (I am smiling in the picture, it’s not horrible, but it is not clear) and here I am in the forest of life. In the picture, amongst the trees are dollar signs.

I can monitor my stress level during transition by how concerned I am about money. While the deep foundation that God has the cattle on a thousand hills IS my foundation, there I days I wonder how many cattle will be on my hill.

Turns out, “money worries” can be a pretty good barometer when it comes to how I’m doing with trusting God about the future. They are not often, but there are nights I wake in the middle with my stomach hurting and churning and I know the root isn’t physical.

I am learning to lean into those moments and trying to receive them as a gift from my body. A gift that says, right now, even subconsciously, something  less than Eden-esque is going on in you. Don’t feel bad that you still have these moments, instead see them as ways to let know of certainty and move towards the unknown.

I have a feeling money is going to be a trust trigger in some fashion throughout my life.

And you know what, if it wasn’t money, it’s would be something else. Right? Right. We each have them. Mine is money. What’s yours?

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The year with trust … thus far:

January whispered trust uses both hands. She holds the present in one hand and the long view in the other.

February joined in with trust can build a bridge others walk on. 

March offered a legal life lesson. Trust doesn’t happen in a vacuum; ultimately trust is about relationships, valuables, and legacy.

April (with taxes) reminded me we all have trust triggers and mine is money.

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The subscription drive continues!

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To enter either sign up or pass on the word about the subscription drive (you can enter up to five times) — next drawing April 25th! And a chance to win 0ne of these beautiful canvases by Emily

Trusting Tuesdays button (Mobile)

Here’s the deal for the link-up:

  • Every third Tuesday I’ll host a link up. Trust + Tuesday + Third = three T’s and I don’t have to mark my calendar with different dates! Just remember TTT. The next one will be on May 20th  and you can get more details here. The link up will be open for one week, after one week, you’ll need to wait until the next month.
  • Please link back the link-up, either by using the Trusting Tuesday picture or simply a text link.
  • I’ve also started Pinterest Oneword365 board and want it to be a community board (meaning let’s have our Oneword365 posts all in one place!). Check it out!
  • If you miss a month, don’t beat yourself up. This will go on for the next twelve months and isn’t meant to overload you or make you feel guilty. We’re going to be a group of cheerleaders.
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Feature photo: Jenny Downing via flickr

Sign up envelope via Tim Morgan on flickr

Is it foolish to hope?

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

One of my favorite passages is 1 Corinthians 13. But how it got relegated to weddings and Hallmark sappiness is one of Eden Lost’s greatest acts of pulling the wool over our eyes.

hope from CC1

And here I’ll step up on a short soap box. Context, world, context. Do you see the mess that the Corinthians had gotten themselves into? Have you read chapter 12, chapter 14, and the rest of the book and seen how very much they needed Patrick Lencioni’s Five Dysfunctions of a Team and Cloud and Townsends’ Boundaries? They had bickering, comparing, having sex with anyone but their spouse, and jealousy down to an art form.

In the midst of this mess, it is hard for me to grasp that Paul would call a time out to get all mushy about love. He saw how they needed to get LOVE (a lesson we still need today), but he also wanted to offer faith and hope. Hope that though they were in a mess, it was not their final state. They could grow and be better than they were. Hope that Eden would be regained and this, this is not our best lives.

This is the dress rehearsal for the real show. Is the dress rehearsal as real as the “real” show? Yes, especially to those in the rehearsal. I don’t mean to imply that our lives now are not real or valid, they are. But our hope doesn’t lie in us getting it right.

And in Eden Regained we will know hope without the tinting of despair or doubt or brokenness. The slogan Keep Hope Alive resonated with many. What do we have without hope? Eden Lost.  This is as good as it gets, baby.

But when we are in Eden Regained, we won’t have to keep hope alive, hope will simply be alive without effort or assault.

I’ll admit I’m not sure where unanswered prayers fall when it comes to hope. Here I’m thinking of one individual I have prayed for years and I see no answers. None. I know prayer is a dance between complex situations, realities I don’t see or can’t grasp, and other people’s decisions. Yet over and over we are assured that God hears our prayers and cares about us.

And so I’ll keep praying and hoping.

Truth be told, I am drawn to hope like an annoying fly to light. My soul dances at the thought illnesses can be healed, relationships restored, a day off enjoyed, a Broncos victory or chance to watch hope infused episodes of The Biggest Loser.

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

Hope is going to last – forever. Amen and amen and amen.

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Jenny won the April 11th drawing for signing up for or encouraging others to

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Next drawing is April 25th. Jenny, I’ll be contacting you so you can pick from  fun options :). Thanks to all who participated. The entry starts afresh now. You can enter up to five times by getting the word out by posting, tweetings, calling friends, forwarding this and then commenting so I know you did.

My friend Emily has graciously offered one of her AMAZING canvases for the next drawing!

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Linking today with Velvet Ashes: Hope

hope

Photo credit: seyed mostafa zamani via flickr

Sign up envelope via Tim Morgan on flickr

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Trusting Tuesdays button (Mobile)

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