Pushing back from the table, not too full, not wanting for more.
The end of a run, a Zumba class, a bike ride, or a hike in which you feel connected and alive in your own skin.
Anticipating a movie for months and finally the day comes. Will it live up to the expectations or wilt into disappointment? As the credits roll you realize it was even better than you had hoped.
Satisfaction, a bit of Eden here in Eden Lost.
In my mind’s eye when I picture satisfaction, I most often see one of my niece’s faces. The oldest when she has played a piano piece and as her fingers linger over the last notes she looks up and there is just something about her eyes. Or the third when she is talking on and on, an indication for her of deep satisfaction. I love how it leaks out of them; the ways in which it can’t be contained.
If you were asked the last time you were profoundly satisfied, could you think of one?
How about this question. When what the last time you felt you didn’t have enough? Enough time, money, effort, information?
We are familiar with scarcity, aren’t we? We’re old friends with the sense of not having or being enough.
In what turned out to be a popular post I wrote:” We have the constant sensation of not enough: not enough time, not enough rest, not enough exercise, not enough leisure. Where does God fit into a life that already seems behind schedule?”
Asks Philip Yancey, a mere five pages into Prayer: does it make any difference?
The phrase not enough stops me cold. Why do I see myself so accurately reflected in these two words when I —
- Am reading in the privacy of my home (space, I have space and often a quiet environment)
- Am sipping tea (out of one of many mugs, made with clean water, chosen from many kinds of tea)
- Am sitting on a couch (I could have chosen to read on six other chairs, four stools, my bed, or two yoga mats)
- Am reading by light (I have electricity and am literate)
- Am wearing clean clothes (that I chose out of plenty of options)
- Yet I resonate immediately with the constant sensation of not enough and it catches my breath. And saddens me. Really? That’s my story? Not enough? (You can read my response here).
The cousin of scarcity is greed. Greed, at heart, says, I will be sure that I have enough by hoarding. By taking more than my share, by wanting more and more and more to fill the empty holes.
We know the extremes of not enough and of greed. But Eden whispers:
Remember that meal, that workout, that movie, that book, that conversation where you were satisfied.
Remember that satisfaction with your body, your effort, your talents, your possessions, your relationships will be your permanent state.
All the posts in the series will be added to this page each day of October. If you would like to receive these reminders in your email inbox, subscribe now. I look forward to the journey together. Amy
What satisfies you?
Reminders: Love, satisfaction.
I hoard food in my body. If your nieces are reading this, I wonder if #2 will feel she’s had enough. The more you write about these things, the more you hold up the window/mirror into just how corrupted we are. Makes me wonder how there can be any good in this world – and yet there is lots and lots!
Gayle, your comment bounced around in me yesterday — the more I’ve thought about Eden, the more I’ve had to (as you say) see how corrupt I am. AND YET there is so much good! The kingdom of God is now and is regaining territory. I get tired of having to hold those two in tension. Sounds kind of like the messy middle :). Thanks for your thoughts!!