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Faith, Language of Eden, Relationships, Trials, Velvet Ashes

Is it foolish to hope?

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

One of my favorite passages is 1 Corinthians 13. But how it got relegated to weddings and Hallmark sappiness is one of Eden Lost’s greatest acts of pulling the wool over our eyes.

hope from CC1

And here I’ll step up on a short soap box. Context, world, context. Do you see the mess that the Corinthians had gotten themselves into? Have you read chapter 12, chapter 14, and the rest of the book and seen how very much they needed Patrick Lencioni’s Five Dysfunctions of a Team and Cloud and Townsends’ Boundaries? They had bickering, comparing, having sex with anyone but their spouse, and jealousy down to an art form.

In the midst of this mess, it is hard for me to grasp that Paul would call a time out to get all mushy about love. He saw how they needed to get LOVE (a lesson we still need today), but he also wanted to offer faith and hope. Hope that though they were in a mess, it was not their final state. They could grow and be better than they were. Hope that Eden would be regained and this, this is not our best lives.

This is the dress rehearsal for the real show. Is the dress rehearsal as real as the “real” show? Yes, especially to those in the rehearsal. I don’t mean to imply that our lives now are not real or valid, they are. But our hope doesn’t lie in us getting it right.

And in Eden Regained we will know hope without the tinting of despair or doubt or brokenness. The slogan Keep Hope Alive resonated with many. What do we have without hope? Eden Lost.  This is as good as it gets, baby.

But when we are in Eden Regained, we won’t have to keep hope alive, hope will simply be alive without effort or assault.

I’ll admit I’m not sure where unanswered prayers fall when it comes to hope. Here I’m thinking of one individual I have prayed for years and I see no answers. None. I know prayer is a dance between complex situations, realities I don’t see or can’t grasp, and other people’s decisions. Yet over and over we are assured that God hears our prayers and cares about us.

And so I’ll keep praying and hoping.

Truth be told, I am drawn to hope like an annoying fly to light. My soul dances at the thought illnesses can be healed, relationships restored, a day off enjoyed, a Broncos victory or chance to watch hope infused episodes of The Biggest Loser.

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

Hope is going to last – forever. Amen and amen and amen.

*****

Jenny won the April 11th drawing for signing up for or encouraging others to

Sign up for the messy middle newsletter

Next drawing is April 25th. Jenny, I’ll be contacting you so you can pick from  fun options :). Thanks to all who participated. The entry starts afresh now. You can enter up to five times by getting the word out by posting, tweetings, calling friends, forwarding this and then commenting so I know you did.

My friend Emily has graciously offered one of her AMAZING canvases for the next drawing!

*****

Linking today with Velvet Ashes: Hope

hope

Photo credit: seyed mostafa zamani via flickr

Sign up envelope via Tim Morgan on flickr

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7 Comments April 11, 2014

Ending Chapters, Faith, Family, Language of Eden, Relationships

Hospice time {and a chance for more prayers}

Was it only two weeks ago Dad and I were at the AFC Championship with my brother-in-law?

with Dad at Broncos game

Dad has been a season ticket holder for 51 years, a father for 46 years, and a father-in-law for 21 years. He loved all three, but his family was his great love. Watching the depth of my brother-in-law’s pain this week has been a testament to their relationship.

Was it only last Tuesday night we took him to the ER assuming the main problem was dehydration?

Eden Lost and Eden Regained woven in and out through the days in the form of failing systems, pain,  and death AND relationships, investment and love. It has been a strange time warp where so much and so little has happened. I think eternity must feel a bit like that too :).

Bottom line is Dad’s liver and kidneys have failed and after several days of trying to decide the best treatment option, the decision has been made to focus on “comfort care” and not treatment. Our parents built a bridge out of their lives for our family and others to walk on, so though this is an unpleasant path, we are together in the decision and traveling in a pack, albeit a weepy one!

Was it only yesterday he was transferred to hospice?

precious hand I love

We have moved from the vocabulary of months, to weeks, to days. Thankfully, dying of kidney failure will be painless for Dad.

Yesterday was a special day of life long friends visiting — and as hard as it may be, the reality is sinking in that very soon, these precious days will be behind us. At this point our prayer request is for a quick death, ability for us to sleep at night, and continued presence of the Holy Spirit as we adjust to this new normal that isn’t quite here yet.

We are united, sad, grateful, comforted, weepy, stunned, functioning on auto pilot, carried, and at peace. And remembering a phenomenal man who will soon be with Jesus.

For all the Youngs, we thank you for your love and prayers. Amy

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49 Comments February 4, 2014

Faith, Language of Eden, Relationships, Velvet Ashes

How much does God like food?

This is how much God likes food, he mentions it before people.

Yup, it’s right there in Genesis. He made all of the yummy vegetation days before people graced the scene. And I hadn’t noticed this before, food is mentioned not once, but twice before the fall. And it was good.

Taste and see

God seems quite pleased with and focused on Adam and Eve knowing about and enjoying food. Like a good Jewish mom, God hovers over Adam and Eve saying, “eat, eat, I made this for you. Next try this. Oh, I just know you’re going to love this! What do you mean you’re full? Just a nibble? OK?”

You can sense the delight.

But that which was one of our greatest gifts, the enjoyment of taste, became the gateway to our down fall. The slippery slope began with a question about food.

“Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Look at the greatest problems in the world today: starvation, obesity, and clean drinking water. All related to tasting or lack thereof.

Again, the Jewish Mother God, hovers over Her children wanting them not to fill holes with food. Food that was meant to delight, not numb. Wanting all of Her children to have enough nutrition. To not dread or fear illness because of poor sanitation. Taste and see that the Lord is good.

Look at all I’ve made for you. All I want for you. All my love tucked in to the food I made. She whispers over the seeds, over the farmer’s beds, over the parents as they hunt and gather, over Her children as we eat.

Taste

But we live in extremes, having not yet mastered the tension between abundance and scarcity. Living as hoarders and fear mongers. The ability to preserve food is a marvel. Once salt was understood, canning perfected, and Vitamin C’s relationship to scurvy understood, the world shrank. And this is good!

With it, however, can the false sense that we are in control of more than we are. Our daily bread became our monthly stock pile.

The Jewish Mother God knew from the beginning that She would need to become the Jewish Man God and walk amongst us. Feeding us with loaves and fishes and redefining blessing.

And taste was woven through the span of the story. At the Last Supper he reminded us to eat, drink, taste my blessing, take into your body suffering, do this in remembrance of me.

I know that God loves all of our senses, but he seems to have a special place in his heart for food. As we eat today, may we slow down enough to taste what God has made for us. To taste his delight and the variety for flavors. To taste his love.

How do you taste God? What are some of your favorite flavors? (I’m partial to tea and peanut butter toast.)

Linking with The Grove — prompt: taste

Photo credit: Bob Fornal on Flickr

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15 Comments November 29, 2013

31 reminders from Eden, Faith, God, Language of Eden

A picture of God’s heart

And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed.  And out of the ground the Lord God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. A river flowed out of Eden to water the garden, and there it divided and became four rivers.  (Genesis)

The Garden of Eden is, shall we say, the scene of the crime. But before it was marked off with yellow tape and both the perpetrators and victims (one in the same, really) had to leave, this is picture of the original plan for the inhabitants of Eden:

Word cloud for Eden

And as much as we’ve gotten off course, remember, it is still God’s desire for you. Every day. Every situation. Every conversation. Every interaction. Infused with potential for Eden to return through us to a world in need of remembering as well.

Love —Satisfaction—Extravagance—Freedom—Belonging—Recreation—Truth—Trust—Purity—Submission—Stewardship—Unity—Kindness—Blamelessly—With abandon—Acceptance—Celebration—Faith—Generosity—Joy—Purpose—Empathy—Rhythm—Hope—Elation—Esteem—Healthy—Peace—Secure (in our being)—Wanted/Desired/Picked/Seen.

How has this overall series impacted you and your soul?

*******

Every comment this week will be added to a drawing  on SUNDAY (I changed my mind and have a post for Sunday night) for a set of Holly’s cards (your choice). Following Janet and Holly’s generosity on this project, every comment will be an entry. If you wonder what we’re up to this week, we’re sitting on benches :). 

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4 Comments November 8, 2013

31 reminders from Eden, Faith, Language of Eden

31 Reminders from Eden: WANTED

Mr. Johnson would name two team captains. I was never a team captain in elementary school which left me standing with my classmates waiting to be picked. No matter how many times it happened and no matter how much I KNEW that I would never be chosen in the first half of the pickings, the sinking feeling in my stomach never lessened.

My heart would will my name to be called. Not because I cared a hoot about the game we’d be playing (which might have something to do with my lack of pickability), but because I did not want to be last. I was almost never last. A big THANK YOU GOD from my heart as I raced to my team leaving the lepers behind me; but I was not far above them. Third from the bottom, maybe fourth?

Wanted

My memory involves gym. But that may have been your happy place. Maybe where you dreaded being picked was to read in public or do a math problem on the board or visit old people in a nursing home. Whether the desire was to be picked (or not in the case of visiting a nursing home), it accompanied a sinking feeling.

Eden Lost is scattered with those who are unwanted, overlooked, ignored, or invisible.

In planning this series I made a note card for each day and wrote the character of Eden on the front of the card in BIG LETTERS and its opposite, Eden Lost on the back in smaller letters. For this day, I didn’t quite know what to call it, so I wrote:

Wanted/Desired/Picked/Seen.

You are wanted in Eden. You are desired to be on the team. You will not be seen as a detriment and assigned to right field with the hope of the ball NEVER being hit to you because you stink at gauging depth perception and velocity of the ball, catching, and throwing. Not that I know anything about being assigned to right field. You are picked in Eden by the Coach who knows all your flaws and WANTS YOU ANYWAY. You are seen, for who you are and will be and the whole team is excited you are there.

As our final reminder from Eden, I want you to know that you are uniquely made and seen and picked. You are not a mistake or undesirable. God smiles when he sees you and is calling your name right now. You are wanted.

31reminders from EdenNext week we will pause and look back over these 31 reminders; thank you so much for sharing this journey with us. The complete list of all 31 reminders can be found here. Amy.

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4 Comments November 1, 2013

31 reminders from Eden, Faith, Language of Eden

31 Reminders from Eden: SECURE

I once worked for an insecure boss. It was awful.

Insecurity seems to be one of the terms de jour of our age to throw around. But if you’ve worked for an insecure person or been in close relationship with an insecure person, it not just a buzz word, it’s a very unpleasant experience nightmare.

Security permeates everything.

Secure

My boss had few people he trusted. He controlled ways that information was shared. He was overly cautious about who knew what.

Trust. Information. Control.

The ‘big three’ of insecure people.

The flip side is true. I worked for another man who was secure. He was able to trust me and my coworkers. Information flowed up and down, backwards and forwards. As long as we were all on the loop in a timely fashion, we weren’t afraid that we might offend or overstep or understep or screw up in some unanticipated way. And his security provided a generous work environment. Dare I say … it was fun!

Security permeates everything.

But sometimes we are the insecure person. Who wants to be the person questioning where they stand in a relationship? Or how what you are saying is going to be taken? Or if people will like you?

Recently I attended a writer’s conference where I knew a few people from on-line, but the truth was that I didn’t really know anyone. Walking into the main room, I felt like a junior higher. Truth be told, I felt worse than a junior higher because I loved junior high. Would anyone want to talk to me? Would they think my ideas were stupid? Would I be ‘cool’?

I hate feeling reduced to less than I am! Especially when it is by the whisperings from within myself.

The root of security is identity. But you can know who you are and instead choose to listen to the whisperings.

I don’t see myself as a real, real writer. Not like an author who has written, say, 15 books. See, if I set the bar high enough, I’ll never measure up. But if I set bar at: I am a writer who touches people through my writings (and take publishing off the table), well now, by that standard, I am a writer.

The whisperings. We all have them. In the movie A Beautiful Mind there is a pivotal scene when the main character realizes a little girl and man he talked with and did life with were not “real.” He never stopped seeing them, but he stopped engaging them.

You are going to have whisperings this side of Eden, the challenge is, which ones are you going to engage and which are you going to ignore? Secure people engage the truth and insecure people engage the whisperings masquerading as truth. For now, we have to make choice.

But in Eden Regained, there will be no masquerading and every last one of us will be wholly and fully secure in who we are.

If I could do a backflip, picture me right now tumbling around at this reminder!

31reminders from EdenAll the posts in the series will be added to this page each day of October. You can subscribe now by entering your email where it says “Jump into the Mess.” Can you believe it, only one more reminder?  Amy

Remember:Love, satisfaction, extravagance, freedom, belonging, recreation, truth, trust, purity, submission and power, unity, kindness, blameless, with abandon, acceptance, celebration, faith, generosity, joy, purpose, empathy, rhythms, hope, elation, esteem, healthy, peace, security. (Yup, still have the formatting problem :))

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1 Comment October 31, 2013

31 reminders from Eden, Faith, Language of Eden, Quotation of the week

31 Reminders from Eden: PEACE

I hate you!

Screamed not from a stranger or a fan of an opposing team when you scored on them. No. Screamed from your child, directed at you.

My friends are entering the phase of having teenagers in their homes. Not all teens go through an “ugly” phase, but for those who do. It tends to be U.G.L.Y.

And no matter how many rationalization come with it (He was dumped by his girlfriend). And no matter how true they are (Her math teacher really IS a poor teacher). It hurts and sows discord in both heart and hearth.

Peace

I’ve worked with many a family in transition over the years and my number one prayer for them was Lord, may your spirit of peace rest on this family. May their home be infused with your peace in this time of transition. Amen and amen and amen and amen.

If only chaos, anxiety, and discord were relegated to the land of teenagers. It might be easily seen there because of the self-assurance and size of the “child” combined with the still oh-so-developing brain. But it’s in all our homes and lives to varying degrees.

I’ve written before about one of my favorite sayings from Paul, Grace and peace. And how we each need grace from God SO THAT we can have peace in our relationships with each other.  Our relationships are to be marked by peaceful interactions.

Passing the peace wasn’t a part of the tradition I grew up in, instead we “greeted our neighbor.” I dread the moment every week – I get it is personal preference here. Is it more holy or appropriate to greet or pass? No. The difference, for me, comes on a soul level. When I greet, the ‘near introvert’ in me cringes. I find random “hellos” to people I don’t know, meaningless (I find, not it is) and I can’t wait to sit down or sing or do just about anything else, even leave.

When I pass the peace, my soul engages. On the surface it seems trite. Touch a hand and say, “The peace of God to you.” But I don’t have to know a thing about a person and they don’t to know a thing about me to know that we all can use more peace. When I am looked in the eye by a soul I don’t know and am told, “The peace of God with you.” So it is. And when it’s a soul I know and love deeply, all the more so. The peace of God with me.

Mother Theresa said, “Peace begins with a smile.” I like that.

Today, let’s be peace passers. Peace passers who look to that the day will come when hate will not be screamed at us.Instead, will be infused with peace and anxiety, discord and chaos will not be our story.

The peace of God to you.

31reminders from EdenAll the posts in the series will be added to this page each day of October. If you would like to receive these reminders in your email inbox, it’s easy! You can subscribe now by entering your email where it says “Jump into the Mess.” Only two more reminders.  Amy

Remember:Love, satisfaction, extravagance, freedom, belonging, recreation, truth, trust, purity, submission and power, unity, kindness, blameless, with abandon, acceptance, celebration, faith, generosity, joy, purpose, empathy, rhythms, hope, elation, esteem, healthy, peace. (Yup, still have the formatting problem :))

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7 Comments October 30, 2013

31 reminders from Eden, Faith, Language of Eden

31 Reminders from Eden: HEALTHY

I have been unbelievably blessed with good health AND had awful experiences. This summer a friend asked me why I won’t consider Lasik surgery. After some of the medical experiences I’ve had in China, I CANNOT participate in one where I am awake during the procedure and smell my eye flesh burning.

To quote a two-year-old, “Cannot.”

Healthy

Ignorance may be bliss and experience one helluva teacher. Sorry, surgery without anesthetic on my behind (and this happened more than once) was hell and I have no desire to go back. Contacts and glasses it will be for me.

But I can see! And the corneas on my eyes are regenerated after having holes eaten in them by the pollution in Beijing. The body’s ability to recreate cells, heal from infection, build stronger bones after a break, and respond to treatment is amazing. Pause for a moment and with me reflect on all of the ways our bodies are walking miracles. Though they bear the signs of brokenness, sin, disease and decay, they also bear signs of restoration, function, health, and improving.

Though medicine may be needed, much good can come from rest, exercise and nutritious food. The body truly is spectacular. This is part of why I LOVE The Biggest Loser. Talk about watching God at work!

Here in Eden Lost, we have unhealthy bodies, thoughts, responses, and relationships. We hurt. Our bodies ache. Our relationships can repeat over and over unhelpful routines. Our responses create distance and distrust. We will all taste death.

But this is not the final chapter.

When we have returned to Eden and we live as we were meant to live! We will know nothing of pain, of cancer, of glasses and canes, of lying over purchases or driving drunk or lust in our hearts.

We will be healthy in the most holistic sense. My mind can list all of the areas where we will know health. My soul tries to keep up with my mind, knowing that the list is true, but not able to grasp how wonderful it will be to be healthy (as my wrists hurt typing this, my neck creaks a bit, and my eyes are awaiting an updated prescription).

The day will come when my soul won’t have to grasp because my whole being and your whole being will simply be …healthy.

31reminders from EdenAll the posts in the series will be added to this page each day of October. If you would like to receive these reminders in your email inbox, it’s easy! You can subscribe now by entering your email where it says “Jump into the Mess!” Hard to believe we are near end of our reminders!  Amy

Remember:Love, satisfaction, extravagance, freedom, belonging, recreation, truth, trust, purity, submission and power, unity, kindness, blameless, with abandon, acceptance, celebration, faith, generosity, joy, purpose, empathy, rhythms, hope, elation, esteem, healthy. (Yup, still have the formatting problem :))

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6 Comments October 29, 2013

31 reminders from Eden, Faith, Language of Eden

31 Reminders from Eden: ESTEEM

Eden Lost is a land of pendulum swings. I’ll say this for us, we’ve got extremes down. Paradox and living with tension, we’ve still got a ways to go.

Self-esteem is one such casualty. Having been ignored or undervalued, parts of society have gone to the other extreme and over value every little utterance or achievement. The graduation gown industry in China is one of the healthier parts of the economy if last June was any indication.

Esteem

Warning: rant part of the post. Doesn’t graduation lose its meaning if every little step is called “graduation” and is celebrated like the person has walked on the moon?! Hello, it’s not that impressive to graduate from pre-school, it’s kind of a given.  End of rant.

But in Eden Lost it’s easy to throw the baby out with bath water and in response to the over praising for relatively small accomplishments, forget that esteem is important. Esteem is another way of saying respect. So, self-esteem, in essence is of a form self-respect.

If your child, your nieces and nephews, your young neighbors don’t have self-esteem, what are they left with? The enemy will come in and take that which was their God given state as an image bearer and leave them with self-loathing, embarrassment and shame.

And self-loathing, embarrassment and shame breed their own paths of destruction from starving to cutting to numbing to over-eating to pornography … and on and on.

In Eden we were people of esteem. We are the pinnacle of creation and the delight of a loving Father.

Remember that someday we will see ourselves as we truly were meant to be. And shame and self-loathing will melt away as we stand before a mirror and see two faces. Ours front and center and behind us, the face of a loving heavenly parent saying “Look at my child!”

31reminders from EdenAll the posts in the series will be added to this page each day of October. If you would like to receive these reminders in your email inbox, it’s easy! You can subscribe now by entering your email where it says “Jump into the Mess!” Hard to believe we are near end of our reminders!  Amy

Remember:Love, satisfaction, extravagance, freedom, belonging, recreation, truth, trust, purity, submission and power, unity, kindness, blameless, with abandon, acceptance, celebration, faith, generosity, joy, purpose, empathy, rhythms, hope, elation, esteem. (Yup, still have the formatting problem :))

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5 Comments October 28, 2013

31 reminders from Eden, Faith, Language of Eden

31 Reminders from Eden: ELATION

The first vivid memory I have of being elated was in high school. Knowing my personality, I’m sure I’d been elated before, many times. But this one stands out as a defining memory because I wasn’t elated in an event or a present or a trip to summer camp. I was elated in me.

I’ve shared before that I played many instruments, all to mediocrity. Getting both of my hands working on the keyboard was torture and who wants to listen to the slowest rendition of Bach? The flute was fine, but not edgy enough for me. The sax was also fine, but I was not edgy enough for it. Then we have the drums, the guitar, and violin as I sought to be a musician. In junior high I switched from playing in the band with boring Mr. Law to choir, a better fit for my personality and talents.

Elation

Let’s also recall another defining memory from 6th grade where I was asked in the kindest of terms to sing a little bit softer as I had a “choir rather than solo voice.” It rang true, and has been a good metaphor for other parts of life as well. In my sophomore year I tried out for a show choir and didn’t get it so I decided to sign up for Forensics (public speaking) and joined the Forensic Team.

In my first meet I competed in “Humor” and had prepared a five to seven minute humor piece based on Erma Bombeck’s book on Motherhood (Yeah, I’m laughing too). I remember returning to our dark school on a cold Saturday after the first meet. Once we got back we were each given the score and comment sheets. Our classroom was out in a temporary building and after I read mine, I stood on the tiny patio and screamed into the darkness.

A primal scream. No words. A scream that said, I AM ALIVE and I WAS MADE FOR THIS and I HAVE NEVER BEEN AS IN TUNE WITH MYSELF AS RIGHT NOW IN THIS MOMENT and GOD, IF IT WEREN’T FOR GRAVITY, I’D BE FLOATING UP TO YOU!

The scores were slightly above average. Nothing special or indicative of my reaction. But I knew I’d finally found my sweet spot. The place where a part of me was released in ways that it just simply is not in other contexts.  The flute couldn’t do it. Baking doesn’t do it. Spreadsheets aren’t my sweet spot. But communication (and especially if there is a microphone involved), now we are talking!

Elation is going to be a part of Eden Regained. I don’t think it will be a predominate emotion or that we are going to float around screaming into the wind all day long.

But here is the key difference I see between now and then. Now, we taste and know indifference, the thief who has come to steal elation. Then, we will not be indifferent to people or causes. Nor will be treated with indifference.

Now we nibble, then we will feast on who it is that God has uniquely made each of us to be!

What’s your sweet spot? I love that great variety will exist in the comments :)

31reminders from EdenAll the posts in the series will be added to this page each day of October. If you would like to receive these reminders in your email inbox, it’s easy! You can subscribe now by entering your email where it says “Jump into the Mess!” I am enjoying the journey together. Amy

Remember: Love, satisfaction, extravagance, freedom, belonging, recreation, truth, trust, purity, submission and power, unity, kindness, blameless, with abandon, acceptance, celebration, faith, generosity, joy, purpose, empathy, rhythms, hope, elation.

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6 Comments October 27, 2013

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Meet Amy Young

My name is Amy and I live in the messy middle of life. I have been Redeemed from permanent muck and live with the tension of the Already and Not Yet. Read More…

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