Mr. Johnson would name two team captains. I was never a team captain in elementary school which left me standing with my classmates waiting to be picked. No matter how many times it happened and no matter how much I KNEW that I would never be chosen in the first half of the pickings, the sinking feeling in my stomach never lessened.

My heart would will my name to be called. Not because I cared a hoot about the game we’d be playing (which might have something to do with my lack of pickability), but because I did not want to be last. I was almost never last. A big THANK YOU GOD from my heart as I raced to my team leaving the lepers behind me; but I was not far above them. Third from the bottom, maybe fourth?

My memory involves gym. But that may have been your happy place. Maybe where you dreaded being picked was to read in public or do a math problem on the board or visit old people in a nursing home. Whether the desire was to be picked (or not in the case of visiting a nursing home), it accompanied a sinking feeling.

Eden Lost is scattered with those who are unwanted, overlooked, ignored, or invisible.

In planning this series I made a note card for each day and wrote the character of Eden on the front of the card in BIG LETTERS and its opposite, Eden Lost on the back in smaller letters. For this day, I didn’t quite know what to call it, so I wrote:

Wanted/Desired/Picked/Seen.

You are wanted in Eden. You are desired to be on the team. You will not be seen as a detriment and assigned to right field with the hope of the ball NEVER being hit to you because you stink at gauging depth perception and velocity of the ball, catching, and throwing. Not that I know anything about being assigned to right field. You are picked in Eden by the Coach who knows all your flaws and WANTS YOU ANYWAY. You are seen, for who you are and will be and the whole team is excited you are there.

As our final reminder from Eden, I want you to know that you are uniquely made and seen and picked. You are not a mistake or undesirable. God smiles when he sees you and is calling your name right now. You are wanted.

Next week we will pause and look back over these 31 reminders; thank you so much for sharing this journey with us. The complete list of all 31 reminders can be found here. Amy.

I once worked for an insecure boss. It was awful.

Insecurity seems to be one of the terms de jour of our age to throw around. But if you’ve worked for an insecure person or been in close relationship with an insecure person, it not just a buzz word, it’s a very unpleasant experience nightmare.

Security permeates everything.

My boss had few people he trusted. He controlled ways that information was shared. He was overly cautious about who knew what.

Trust. Information. Control.

The ‘big three’ of insecure people.

The flip side is true. I worked for another man who was secure. He was able to trust me and my coworkers. Information flowed up and down, backwards and forwards. As long as we were all on the loop in a timely fashion, we weren’t afraid that we might offend or overstep or understep or screw up in some unanticipated way. And his security provided a generous work environment. Dare I say … it was fun!

Security permeates everything.

But sometimes we are the insecure person. Who wants to be the person questioning where they stand in a relationship? Or how what you are saying is going to be taken? Or if people will like you?

Recently I attended a writer’s conference where I knew a few people from on-line, but the truth was that I didn’t really know anyone. Walking into the main room, I felt like a junior higher. Truth be told, I felt worse than a junior higher because I loved junior high. Would anyone want to talk to me? Would they think my ideas were stupid? Would I be ‘cool’?

I hate feeling reduced to less than I am! Especially when it is by the whisperings from within myself.

The root of security is identity. But you can know who you are and instead choose to listen to the whisperings.

I don’t see myself as a real, real writer. Not like an author who has written, say, 15 books. See, if I set the bar high enough, I’ll never measure up. But if I set bar at: I am a writer who touches people through my writings (and take publishing off the table), well now, by that standard, I am a writer.

The whisperings. We all have them. In the movie A Beautiful Mind there is a pivotal scene when the main character realizes a little girl and man he talked with and did life with were not “real.” He never stopped seeing them, but he stopped engaging them.

You are going to have whisperings this side of Eden, the challenge is, which ones are you going to engage and which are you going to ignore? Secure people engage the truth and insecure people engage the whisperings masquerading as truth. For now, we have to make choice.

But in Eden Regained, there will be no masquerading and every last one of us will be wholly and fully secure in who we are.

If I could do a backflip, picture me right now tumbling around at this reminder!

All the posts in the series will be added to this page each day of October. You can subscribe now by entering your email where it says “Jump into the Mess.” Can you believe it, only one more reminder?  Amy

Remember:Love, satisfaction, extravagance, freedom, belonging, recreation, truth, trust, purity, submission and power, unity, kindness, blameless, with abandon, acceptance, celebration, faith, generosity, joy, purpose, empathy, rhythms, hope, elation, esteem, healthy, peace, security. (Yup, still have the formatting problem :))

I have been unbelievably blessed with good health AND had awful experiences. This summer a friend asked me why I won’t consider Lasik surgery. After some of the medical experiences I’ve had in China, I CANNOT participate in one where I am awake during the procedure and smell my eye flesh burning.

To quote a two-year-old, “Cannot.”

Ignorance may be bliss and experience one helluva teacher. Sorry, surgery without anesthetic on my behind (and this happened more than once) was hell and I have no desire to go back. Contacts and glasses it will be for me.

But I can see! And the corneas on my eyes are regenerated after having holes eaten in them by the pollution in Beijing. The body’s ability to recreate cells, heal from infection, build stronger bones after a break, and respond to treatment is amazing. Pause for a moment and with me reflect on all of the ways our bodies are walking miracles. Though they bear the signs of brokenness, sin, disease and decay, they also bear signs of restoration, function, health, and improving.

Though medicine may be needed, much good can come from rest, exercise and nutritious food. The body truly is spectacular. This is part of why I LOVE The Biggest Loser. Talk about watching God at work!

Here in Eden Lost, we have unhealthy bodies, thoughts, responses, and relationships. We hurt. Our bodies ache. Our relationships can repeat over and over unhelpful routines. Our responses create distance and distrust. We will all taste death.

But this is not the final chapter.

When we have returned to Eden and we live as we were meant to live! We will know nothing of pain, of cancer, of glasses and canes, of lying over purchases or driving drunk or lust in our hearts.

We will be healthy in the most holistic sense. My mind can list all of the areas where we will know health. My soul tries to keep up with my mind, knowing that the list is true, but not able to grasp how wonderful it will be to be healthy (as my wrists hurt typing this, my neck creaks a bit, and my eyes are awaiting an updated prescription).

The day will come when my soul won’t have to grasp because my whole being and your whole being will simply be …healthy.

All the posts in the series will be added to this page each day of October. If you would like to receive these reminders in your email inbox, it’s easy! You can subscribe now by entering your email where it says “Jump into the Mess!” Hard to believe we are near end of our reminders!  Amy

Remember:Love, satisfaction, extravagance, freedom, belonging, recreation, truth, trust, purity, submission and power, unity, kindness, blameless, with abandon, acceptance, celebration, faith, generosity, joy, purpose, empathy, rhythms, hope, elation, esteem, healthy. (Yup, still have the formatting problem :))

Eden Lost is a land of pendulum swings. I’ll say this for us, we’ve got extremes down. Paradox and living with tension, we’ve still got a ways to go.

Self-esteem is one such casualty. Having been ignored or undervalued, parts of society have gone to the other extreme and over value every little utterance or achievement. The graduation gown industry in China is one of the healthier parts of the economy if last June was any indication.

Warning: rant part of the post. Doesn’t graduation lose its meaning if every little step is called “graduation” and is celebrated like the person has walked on the moon?! Hello, it’s not that impressive to graduate from pre-school, it’s kind of a given.  End of rant.

But in Eden Lost it’s easy to throw the baby out with bath water and in response to the over praising for relatively small accomplishments, forget that esteem is important. Esteem is another way of saying respect. So, self-esteem, in essence is of a form self-respect.

If your child, your nieces and nephews, your young neighbors don’t have self-esteem, what are they left with? The enemy will come in and take that which was their God given state as an image bearer and leave them with self-loathing, embarrassment and shame.

And self-loathing, embarrassment and shame breed their own paths of destruction from starving to cutting to numbing to over-eating to pornography … and on and on.

In Eden we were people of esteem. We are the pinnacle of creation and the delight of a loving Father.

Remember that someday we will see ourselves as we truly were meant to be. And shame and self-loathing will melt away as we stand before a mirror and see two faces. Ours front and center and behind us, the face of a loving heavenly parent saying “Look at my child!”

All the posts in the series will be added to this page each day of October. If you would like to receive these reminders in your email inbox, it’s easy! You can subscribe now by entering your email where it says “Jump into the Mess!” Hard to believe we are near end of our reminders!  Amy

Remember:Love, satisfaction, extravagance, freedom, belonging, recreation, truth, trust, purity, submission and power, unity, kindness, blameless, with abandon, acceptance, celebration, faith, generosity, joy, purpose, empathy, rhythms, hope, elation, esteem. (Yup, still have the formatting problem :))