Was it only two weeks ago Dad and I were at the AFC Championship with my brother-in-law?

with Dad at Broncos game

Dad has been a season ticket holder for 51 years, a father for 46 years, and a father-in-law for 21 years. He loved all three, but his family was his great love. Watching the depth of my brother-in-law’s pain this week has been a testament to their relationship.

Was it only last Tuesday night we took him to the ER assuming the main problem was dehydration?

Eden Lost and Eden Regained woven in and out through the days in the form of failing systems, pain,  and death AND relationships, investment and love. It has been a strange time warp where so much and so little has happened. I think eternity must feel a bit like that too :).

Bottom line is Dad’s liver and kidneys have failed and after several days of trying to decide the best treatment option, the decision has been made to focus on “comfort care” and not treatment. Our parents built a bridge out of their lives for our family and others to walk on, so though this is an unpleasant path, we are together in the decision and traveling in a pack, albeit a weepy one!

Was it only yesterday he was transferred to hospice?

precious hand I love

We have moved from the vocabulary of months, to weeks, to days. Thankfully, dying of kidney failure will be painless for Dad.

Yesterday was a special day of life long friends visiting — and as hard as it may be, the reality is sinking in that very soon, these precious days will be behind us. At this point our prayer request is for a quick death, ability for us to sleep at night, and continued presence of the Holy Spirit as we adjust to this new normal that isn’t quite here yet.

We are united, sad, grateful, comforted, weepy, stunned, functioning on auto pilot, carried, and at peace. And remembering a phenomenal man who will soon be with Jesus.

For all the Youngs, we thank you for your love and prayers. Amy

Leave A Comment

  1. Neal Rylaarsdam February 4, 2014 at 6:54 am - Reply

    Amy, thank you so much for sharing. Our prayers are for you and yours. May the loving arms of Jesus embrace you all during this time of good-byes and preparation for heaven’s celebration.

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      Amy February 4, 2014 at 2:19 pm - Reply

      Neal, I love it that you were so quick to comment. These are the small mercies that are more significant than you may know. Thank you.

  2. Rhonda February 4, 2014 at 6:57 am - Reply

    Hugs to you and uplifting as well. It is not easy to ask for a ‘quick death’ for a love one. When my father was dying of cancer that too was my wish. Not easy. Thank you for sharing your and your dad’s journey. Hugs.

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      Amy February 4, 2014 at 2:21 pm - Reply

      Rhonda, it is disorienting :) … but watching him, I only want to prolong his life so I can hold his hand :), the life he was able to live and wants to live is already over. Thanks for the reminder of how many have walked these paths.

  3. JoDee February 4, 2014 at 6:57 am - Reply

    ah, dear friend, I can’t believe we just chatted less than a month ago and things looked so very different. How my heart breaks for you; I simply can’t imagine. I am so very sorry. So thankful for a Savior who brings us near though we are far. I am there with you in Spirit and asking for you to experience the peace that passes understanding even now. Much love sent your way.

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      Amy February 4, 2014 at 2:22 pm - Reply

      I know! It’s been a bit like spiritual and emotional whiplash — thanks for helping me mark time and remember I’m not crazy :) love you! Amy

  4. Kristi February 4, 2014 at 7:08 am - Reply

    Amy, thank you for inviting us to join with and your family as you walk this bittersweet path. I am deeply moved by the words you have used to describe the undescribable, I have prayed for you as often as you have come to mind. Being in Chiang Mai, often means OFTEN. May you and yours be gathered up in the arms of the God of All Comfort.

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      Amy February 4, 2014 at 2:29 pm - Reply

      Sweet Kristi … and I think of you when I see my oldest niece. You two are kindred spirits. Thanks for your prayers and words of mercy. Love you!

  5. Jennifer February 4, 2014 at 7:13 am - Reply

    In these times words are so hard. I know two things. You do not walk alone and our prayers for peace are with you

  6. Mike February 4, 2014 at 7:18 am - Reply

    The whole group of people in the leader meetings here at pre-conference is praying for you and your whole family, Amy.

    If you haven’t heard it yet, listen to Building 429’s “Where I Belong.” Your dad will soon be where he belongs!

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      Amy February 4, 2014 at 2:30 pm - Reply

      Thanks Mike :) … I knew you’d have a song for me. I WILL check it out! And the prayers are cushioning us, truly.

  7. Martha Faires February 4, 2014 at 7:19 am - Reply

    If a tech hug counts, here it is. We are walking the same road right now and like you, grateful for a Dad who takes his role seriously and seriously loves each of his own.

  8. Connie Gibson February 4, 2014 at 7:20 am - Reply

    My heart is aching for you Amy. As you know my family just went thru this very same thing this last summer. We are thankful that for us, my father passed away only 4 days after going into Hospice. We were so thankful that for him it was fast. I pray the same for your father. What a joy it is to know that you will see him again in Heaven someday. I love you dear and precious friend. You are not walking thru this alone.

  9. Rachael Underwood February 4, 2014 at 7:42 am - Reply

    Amy, I was so sad for you and your family when I read this. I will never forget visiting your family when I was 15, especially your dads crazy driving up the rocky mountains!
    I am praying for you all that these last few days are really special days where memories are fondly remembered and a life so full celebrated in amongst the sadness.xxxxx

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      Amy February 4, 2014 at 2:36 pm - Reply

      Rachael, your comment means so much to me! And YES, I remember that ride! :) Would love to see you soon. xoxo Amy

  10. emily thomas February 4, 2014 at 7:56 am - Reply

    Praying for you all, dear friend. Thank you for being willing to share your journey with the rest of us.

  11. Mark Allman February 4, 2014 at 7:58 am - Reply

    Amy,
    I pray that you all will feel God’s presence strongly. I sorrow with hope with you.

  12. Joy Brainer February 4, 2014 at 8:00 am - Reply

    Love to your beautiful family. You have also been a bridge, Amy, and prayers go up for you from around the world.

  13. Heather Anderson Steyn February 4, 2014 at 8:11 am - Reply

    I Love you all! I can’t say much more because I am too weepy!

  14. Heather Anderson Steyn February 4, 2014 at 8:12 am - Reply

    I love you all so much! I can’t say much more because I am too weepy! Please let me know what I can do!

  15. Holly February 4, 2014 at 8:13 am - Reply

    Oh, Amy, I can tell that your Dad is truly a special man and it’s no surprise! Because you’re his daughter. And I just pray that these precious days with him are filled with love and God’s peace and presence. You have my prayers, absolutely.

  16. Christi Perkins February 4, 2014 at 8:17 am - Reply

    Amy, my prayers are with you and your family. Praise God that you have the comfort of knowing that your father will be so much better off when he is in the presence of our Heavenly Father. Having lost my own father recently, I understand the peace that comes in knowing he is out of pain, but the sense of loss of a parent that is so dear. God blessed my father and our family in so many ways during the time leading up to his passing, and I pray that He will show Himself in the same way with your family.

  17. Tanya Marlow February 4, 2014 at 8:28 am - Reply

    I’m so sorry. I read this with tears.
    Praying for you all as you walk this next stage together.
    You and your Dad have the same smile.
    Thinking of you.

    • Tanya Marlow February 4, 2014 at 8:30 am - Reply

      P.s. I know it doesn’t really compare, but commiserations on the Broncos, too… I thought of you when I heard the results. :-P

  18. Karen Miedrich-Luo February 4, 2014 at 8:56 am - Reply

    So very sorry, Amy. Your sweet love and respect for him is such a gift – to him and others. Though so very hard to say goodbye, the quick passing is better. My mom was in hospice for two brutal months over Christmas. Our prayers are with you and your family.

  19. Emily February 4, 2014 at 8:58 am - Reply

    Blessings and peace to you in this holy time. Thank you for sharing your walk with him, with us.

  20. Emily February 4, 2014 at 9:13 am - Reply

    Maybe this crazy but the first thing that came to my mind was to ask that the numbers of the time and date of your dad’s passing will be significant. That The Lord would use that to show you his tender care over the details of this painful time in a way that would testify to your bond with your Dad. Trusting He will bind your breaking hearts.

  21. Jennifer February 4, 2014 at 9:33 am - Reply

    I’m praying for you and your family, Amy. I hope that the prayers that surround you provide some comfort.

  22. Paula Phillips February 4, 2014 at 9:48 am - Reply

    Love, blessings and peace to you and your family during this time. Your words are powerful and reflective of the strength and grace you find in Him, and reflective of what He has given you through your earthly father.

  23. Mandy Roberts February 4, 2014 at 10:03 am - Reply

    Thoughts and prayers for you and your family during this time.

  24. Soundra February 4, 2014 at 11:12 am - Reply

    Continuing to pray for you my friend. Thankful for the time you have had with him since you returned.

  25. julie sharpe February 4, 2014 at 11:12 am - Reply

    I’m crying with you. Crying when I saw hospice. Crying remembering my father and sad for your losing yours. Landscape-altering; hard hard time.

  26. Patti February 4, 2014 at 12:24 pm - Reply

    Amy, I’m just so sorry this reality is yours right now. What an unexpected blessing that you are here to be with your dad and mom and family. I am praying for all of you. Your amazing and wonderful way of pre-grieving loss and trauma will help but post-grieving will take time and God has given you that for now. I pray God’s comfort to your heart, soul and mind. I love you,
    Patti

  27. nancy February 4, 2014 at 12:24 pm - Reply

    Dearest Amy. oh how our hearts go out to you all. Be assured of our prayers and know that the our God can and does walk through these times with us.

    Love
    Nancy

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      Amy February 4, 2014 at 2:15 pm - Reply

      Nancy, you know how much I love my Scottish family, right? And it means so much to me my dad has been in your home and you’ve been in ours! What a rich life we have! We are sensing God’s presence, and I’m thankful for that. Truly, I know it may change that I sense it, but I’m going to reread your comment at that time when I need the nudge. xoxox A

  28. Liesl Mefford February 4, 2014 at 1:33 pm - Reply

    Dear Mr. Young:

    I’ve had the privilege of meeting you several times and you left a mark upon me. You have a gentle strength, kindness and generosity that is embodied in your smile. You have bought me dinner in China, Denver and Tacoma! You’ve shared your daughter with me. I read books to my boys given to me by Amy and Mrs. Young. Every time, I go to leave the house I think of you….did I leave the dishwasher or washing machine running? Do I need to go turn it off? The washing machine overflowed twice BUT that was before I was given your great wisdom…since then it has not. :)

    When I look at the legacy that you leave behind, I know what kind of man you are and life you’ve led. I am blessed to have been a small part of your family.

    Much love, Liesl Mefford

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      Amy February 4, 2014 at 2:13 pm - Reply

      Liesl, I’ll print this off and read it to him during one of the times he surfaces from his long winter’s nap :). And I just laughed — yup, that’s my dad. To this day I feel guilty if I leave the house with an appliance that uses water still running. He’s a wise one! Much love back from all of us here in Denver. Amy

  29. Brenda February 4, 2014 at 3:30 pm - Reply

    So sorry to hear this. Just prayed that God would be close to you all.

  30. M'Lynn February 4, 2014 at 3:52 pm - Reply

    Amy, I’m so sorry to hear this. May Jesus be near to you and your family as you continue to process all of this. So thankful you and your Dad had that one last game together!

  31. Susan February 4, 2014 at 3:52 pm - Reply

    Definitely praying for you all.

  32. Patty and Sam February 4, 2014 at 4:41 pm - Reply

    Amy, we are praying for you and your family over on this side of the planet. As you walk this sacred path with your dad, may our Father’s presence overwhelm each of you with His gentle care and comfort. We love you!

  33. Stephani February 4, 2014 at 7:28 pm - Reply

    Oh, Amy. My heart hurts for you. I wish you were here and am so glad you’re not.

  34. Mindy February 4, 2014 at 8:33 pm - Reply

    Oh, Amy. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. I do know that as my heart has ached in losing my dad this year, that I’ve been so thankful that it’s aching because I had to say goodbye to a dad who had loved and cherished me. I’m glad you can walk this hard road with the “love” ache in your heart instead of the “regret” ache.

  35. Karin B February 4, 2014 at 8:50 pm - Reply

    My heart is with your heart, my friend. Safe passage to your father. Much love to you and to all who know and love your dad.

  36. Joseph February 4, 2014 at 8:51 pm - Reply

    Glad we saw you Sunday. Difficult but good.

    We love the Youngs. You are a Magnificent family .

    Tom is a great man . Wish everyone could have the kind of dad and friend that he is.

    Peace to you all right now in particular.

  37. Melba Ramsey February 5, 2014 at 6:02 am - Reply

    Amy, Thinking of you and lifting up your family. You have always been a blessing and inspiration to many of us and now may we offer you comfort and hold you hand. Love and peace.

  38. Amy L. February 6, 2014 at 11:30 am - Reply

    My heart aches for you and your family and grieves with you as I walked this same path 15 years ago with my dear mom. My arms reach out to you from Eagle with a big hug. May you know our Father’s comfort as you rest in confidence of His promises and in your dad’s future presence in glory. Come, Lord Jesus.

  39. Carolyn February 7, 2014 at 7:30 am - Reply

    I’m adding my heart to the string of hearts on this page for you, Amy… Words in a little box just aren’t sufficient. You are loved and ached for from this corner of Central Asia…

  40. diane d February 7, 2014 at 7:32 am - Reply

    Dear Amy,
    thank you for sharing your family’s journey with all of us. Your comment about how your parents built a bridge so that all of you could use it to walk into your own lives – was priceless. I pray for the angels of mercy to walk with all of you as the angels of The Journey walk your dad into his resting place.

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