The Messy Middle

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Community, Learning lessons

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

When I was in high school Cheers was a popular television show. If you’re not familiar with Cheers, it was a comedy set in a local bar where the regulars shared their lives, grew together over time, and in many ways were family to each other.

But what solidified it was the theme song. Read through these lyrics (or listen) and ask yourself if this doesn’t also sound like the church:

Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot

Wouldn’t you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came

You wanna be where you can see
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
your name

Obviously, the church would be centered on God. But guess what God loves? People. Cheers was long-running because it was funny, tackled complexities of life, and fostered belonging. The name of the theme song is “Where everybody knows your name.” God is a God of belonging, of wanting to know us and wanting us to be known by him, others, and even ourselves.

And over the years, places like A Life Overseas, Velvet Ashes, and Taking Route help cross-cultural workers know they are not alone, challenge their thinking, and provide spaces to share their stories.

Which of these have you—or someone you love—experienced on the field:

—Burnout

—Boredom

—Overwhelm

—Losing touch with yourself

—Not having the skills equal to the task

—Being used up and spit out by the missionary machine

—Fearing you will be exposed as a fraud

—Feeling you are out of your depth

—Stagnated

~~~

I know you see yourself or loved one somewhere on the list. Even if you are in your first year, and all is new and shiny, boredom has knocked on your door a time or two. I am dreaming of another space for cross-cultural workers, a space that doesn’t make you choose between tending your own soul (being) and building skills to help you do the work you are called to (doing). In order for the new space to meet your real needs, would you help by

  1. Taking this survey if you have served overseas or
  2. Sharing it with someone if you haven’t served as a cross-cultural worker. Here is the survey.

I’ve started to receive results and thought you might find this piece of information interesting.

So, thank you for taking this survey and helping to build a place that points us each to Jesus and each other.

Humming with you . . .

You wanna be where you can see
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
your name {and worships God}.

Thanks for your help! Amy

P.S. Happy Birthday Looming Transitions! Can you believe how many reviews she has on Amazon? Thank you to everyone who left one!

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Leave a Comment January 28, 2019

Cross cultural, Learning lessons, Messy Middle

Count Your Blessings {and a survey}

Hello Messy Middle  friends,

Before we jump into the meat of this post, I have a request. After writing Looming Transitions to help people in cross-cultural service with their transitions and All the News to help them stay on the field via good communication with supporters, I want to help people navigate their first year on the field. In December I’m going to start (and hopefully make good progress) on a book geared especially for the first year on the field. Every year on the field is unique and special, but like other “firsts” in life, that first year on the field is often in a category unto itself. If you live or lived on the field, could you help by taking this survey? It should take 10-30 minutes depending on how much detail you want to go into. Thank you in advance for sharing your experiences with others! Here is the survey.

This week is Thanksgiving in America. I wrote the following years ago in the midst of a very crazy season on the field. Making lists in November of what I was thankful for became an annual discipline to train myself to not miss the ordinary blessings in my life. I wrote:

Still, in the midst of the craziness, I am conscious that I truly do have much to be thankful! Limiting myself to this past week, here are several random pieces of life that I am thankful for:

—Getting to see new things in China. I had never been to Inner Mongolia, the province that borders Mongolia. The population is pretty evenly split between Mongolians and Han Chinese … racial tension does exist. As an outsider, it was cool to see all of the signs in Chinese and the old Mongolian script (not the Cyrillic style that is used in Mongolia). KFC in English, Chinese, and Mongolian! You don’t see that every day.

—Mutton! I’m thankful that I don’t live in a place where the main meat option is mutton (um, like Inner Mongolia). Man, but that is “meat with an attitude”!

—I’m thankful that my job includes the excitement of going out to see and encourage teachers and the fun of heading home and knowing when you wake up on the last day of a trip “tonight I’ll sleep in my own bed.”

—The hand-knit sweater my Chinese Mama made me – it weighs about five pounds (not an exaggeration!!!) but on cold days like today, it warms me outside and in. How many people have two mothers who really love them? Wow.

—Popcorn. Ok, that was my lunch today! But I love being an adult without children so I can eat what I want without having to set a nutritional example :-).

—Chocolate, Stain Remover Stick, and a commentary on British Lit. Isn’t that a great list?! It is what the team I’m visiting tomorrow has asked me to bring them. And it just about sum up what’s important in life!

—Indonesian Dancing. Last night a former student invited me to a dance performance at Beijing University. We’ve been doing a lot together recently – she has a tender spirit and knows where I stand on things but has no real interest in them herself … but I keep hoping!

—Playing CARDS! The same student and her boyfriend came over Saturday night for dinner and to play cards. They taught me a Chinese card game that is very similar to hearts … only I found out the hard way that you don’t want both the Queen of Spades AND all the hearts. The Queen is a ton of negative points regardless!

—Pumpkin bread and helpers! I’ve been cooking down pumpkin to make pumpkin bread for teams when I got to visit them. Saturday Gabe (age 4) and Nate (age 2) helped me by stirring and dumping as I made my bread for my next round of travels.

—My students!! Have I mentioned how much I LOVE them??? Well, I do. Today they handed in papers on their beliefs about reparations, finishing off that unit. How can you not love someone who write:

“Firstly I thank teacher Amy to give us some articles about reparations and these materials make us discuss, know different opinions.”

“In this unit we learned five articles, all of which focused on the understanding of reparation. I was a little shocked and excited to know these all, in such a direct way. I mean, just at one time, all these different (even opposed) opinions rushed into my brain and shook my former perspective strongly.”

—My job! I often think that I have the BEST job in our organization. I get to teach students and encourage our teachers … what is not to love. Wow. I feel that so much of what I do does make a difference and I know that not everyone can say that about their job.

I was given a promise earlier this fall by a friend when I was going through a rough period. The promise was “Don’t hold back Your tender mercies from me. My only hope is in your unfailing love and faithfulness.” And He hasn’t. Even in just this past week my cup runs over – He has been faithful over and over.

Tis time to be thankful!

Amy

P.S. Actually all of Psalm 40is a good one to read this week. And thank you for helping with the survey: Remembering Your First Year. A version of this post is also on A Life Overseas.

 

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3 Comments November 19, 2018

Learning lessons, Summer Reading Challenge

Ten Takeaways from The Bully Pulpit

Y’all know that I read The Bully Pulpit: Theodore Roosevelt, William Taft, and the Golden Age of Journalism by Doris Kearns Goodwin this summer as part of the Summer Reading Challenge. Several years ago, I read her tome on Lincoln, Team of Rivals. Because of the length, I admit to being a bit proud of myself, but it was the subject matter of building and working with a team who could be classified as “rivals” that made it a must-read. You can read my thoughts on Rivals here.

I wondered if I would feel the same about Teddy Roosevelt, William Taft, and those from “the golden age of journalism.” Would this be a must-read?

The short answer is yes. The Bully Pulpit exemplifies what I love about history. History provides a mirror for the current age. If we think now is a hot mess, we are arrogant and a tad ignorant.

Once again, I am grateful for sitting at the feet of history as I read this page-turner. Generally speaking, you can guess what the book was about, so no surprises there. What I appreciate about Goodwin’s writing is that she honors the complexity of situations and shows enough of the context to help the reader see how various realities interact. Thanks to The Bully Pulpit, I have my own Ten Takeaways from The Bully Pulpit.

Starting with 5 lessons for Every Era:

1. Use the technology of the day. Roosevelt would not start a speech until he knew a stenographer was present. I hadn’t thought of “stenography” as cutting-edge technology, but it was.

2. Know that everyone has an agenda. I don’t mean this is a “the sky is falling!” way, but more of a “we are all wired to care” way. “The policy of the Evening Post is to break down Roosevelt.” (page 257) I am tempted to think there once was a magical era when the media wasn’t biased. While the role of the media in the U.S. ebbs and flows, it’s naïve to think other eras didn’t have their own media issues.

3. Remember that for better or worse, there has always been a relationship between politics and religion. “Roosevelt confided to his newspaper friend Herman Kohlsaat, ‘I am in the worst hole politically I have ever been in my life. The whole Catholic Church is on my back.’” (page 305)

4. Be aware of the relationship between societal changes and mental health. There was a “stunning increase in nervous disorders diagnosed around the turn of the century. Commentators and clinicians cited a number of factors related to the stress of modern civilization: the increased speed of communication facilitated by the telegraph and railroad; the ‘unmelodious’ clamor of city life replacing the ‘rhythmical’ sounds of nature; and the rise of the tabloid press that exploded ‘local horrors’ into national news.” Sounds like today!

5. You will face a Big Issue of the Day. For Roosevelt and Taft it was monopolies and government regulation of industries such as the meat packing industry. Anyone else horrified by The Jungle by Upton Sinclair? I can’t remember if I read The Jungle in high school or college, but I do remember the shock I felt at the working conditions. This book helped to move the hearts of many and paved the way for changes. In the U.S., one of our current Big Issues is health care. But this book reminded me that if it wasn’t health care, it would be something else. Every era has a Big Issue to wrestle with.

Continuing with 3 Lessons for Every Person

6. Value Friendship. Roosevelt and Taft were friends until the election of 1912, and then they weren’t. Reading the disintegration of their friendship was one of the hardest parts to read. Thankfully, seven months before Roosevelt died, they had a chance encounter and mended fences. “Roosevelt confided that at long last they had ‘completely renewed the old friendly relations.’” The Bully Pulpit also highlighted the long-standing friendships between many of the writers for McClure’s Magazine. One lived in Emporia, Kansas and traveled back and forth to NYC. Shout out to Kansas!

7. Be able to laugh at yourself. Roosevelt, in particular, was good at this! “In early December, [Roosevelt] delivered a 500-page manuscript to Putnam’s. Recalling this maiden literary voyage, Roosevelt acknowledged years later that some of the chapters ‘were so dry that they would have made reading a dictionary seem light by comparison.’”

8. They might be strange or unexpected, but be on the lookout for points of connection. Guess what Taft, Roosevelt, and Amy Young have in common? They have all had at least three surgeries on their bottoms for abscesses. And Taft and Young eventually both had fistulas develop that required a surgical solution. I don’t think I’ve ever been in such good “bottom” company before!

And finally, two reminders that parts of history DO show how far we have come.

9. Mentioned above is the rise in “nervous breakdowns.” Want to know a common treatment? “Rest-cure,” which sounds innocent enough. It required patients to remain isolated for weeks or even months at a time, forbidden to read or write, rigidly adhering to a milk-only diet.” No. Thank. You.

10. Think modern politics are crazy? It took 46 ballots and 8 days of voting for Woodrow Wilson to be nominated in 1912! Oh my.

~~~

I am so grateful this book has moved from my “To Read” list to my “Read” list! I might not dive into another tome in the next few months, but when I do, what long book would you recommend I read next?

Photo by John Bakator on Unsplash

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5 Comments August 23, 2018

Ending Chapters, Learning lessons, Looming Transitions

Nature’s Classroom: Do I Contradict Myself?

My friend Mikkin belongs to a local Mothers of Preschoolers—MOPS—group. Last December she invited me to share on the role of holiday traditions can enhance your family. Well let’s just say I was memorable, but not because of my subject matter.

I made an absolute fool of myself during Christmas Carol Charades.

Screaming Away in a Manger!!!!!!!!!!!! was a small window into my competitive side.

So, when Mikkin texted this summer asking if I would return and speak on how parents can help their kids with transitions, I lept at the chance to make a new impression. And since I wrote a book on transitions, maybe they would realize I was not a lunatic song screamer, but a calm rational adult.

My plan worked, at least enough. I got a bit over-excited a couple of times. But can anyone blame me? When I think of what is at stake when it comes to transitions, the amount of transitions woven into normal life, and how with a little bit of intentionality they can equip their children for life . . . I start to think of the generational ripple effect for their kids if they learn to navigate and process transitions, well the voice in my head said, “Sweetie, calm down.”

I did. But transitions are back on my radar.

Saturday Shelly Miller, author of Rhythms of Rest: Finding the Spirit of Sabbath in a Busy World, spoke at an event in Denver.

We had met on line when I first became a blogger, but we are now, “in the flesh” friends. During the event, she had us go outside and spend five minutes writing down what we heard and then five minutes writing down what we heard from God.

I highly recommend you try it. Listening with your ears prepares your soul to listen to God.

Unseasonably cold, I braved sitting outside and sat by bushes that were in the process of changing color.Take a moment and scroll through these pictures. Using the lens of transtions, what do you notice?

 

 

Even within ourselves, we will transition at different paces.

One leaf may be mostly green, but then the tip was bright red. Another leaf was green except for one section. Or the leaf that the edge was red. Lessons from leaves.

It’s true isn’t it? When I moved back to the U.S. I found my place at the gym before I found my vocational place. I felt at home cheering for the Broncos long before I felt at home in the church. Even now, parts of me are not the same color. Yet like these leaves, maybe my own beauty is enhanced by allowing the seasons to be what they are. By seeing that one being can hold more than one story. And that God does not write binary stories. This or that. No, his specialty? The messy middle.

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4 Comments September 29, 2017

China, Cross cultural, Faith, God, Learning lessons

Deeper and wider than my small arms

One of the highlights of last week was your response to Book Cousins. Thank you for jumping in with sharing where you have seen God at work. The winner was notified, but to entice you to buy The Bells Are Not Silent, today go bell hunting with Joann and me. This was first published in September 2012.

Remember the song Deep and Wide? I belted it out as a kid, complete with hand gestures and humming words as we sang it faster and faster. “Deep and hmmm, Deep and hmmm!” Through song and laughter the breadth and depth of God’s love drilled into us as we sang in Sunday School.

I shared last weekend that Joann and I were going to Harbin to research church bells. She’s the actual researcher and I am the side kick. She became interested last spring in Chinese church bells we have traveled to Qingdao, Tianjin, and Harbin. We’ve also visited the bell museum and various churches in Beijing.

These trips have shown me that my view of the Bride of Christ has stayed about as far as I can open my arms to show how “deep and wide” the church is. Um, that is to say, pathetically small.

Part of it is just the reality that we can’t know what we haven’t been exposed to. Part of it is that history has kept different part of Christianity separated. Part of it is just that I forget how truly amazing God is.

Through these trips, God takes my arms and pulls them apart, experience by experience widening my view of vastness of the church.

In the stretching, there are moments of comical “what should we do” and a bit of mild awkwardness. When a Catholic brother and sister asked us in their sanctuary if we could pray together we said, “of course!” and started to do the Protestant huddle only to realize we were going to stand in line facing the cross. In the Orthodox Church we forgot to bring head coverings and I had to keep reminding myself to back out of the church and not turn my back on the cross.

But the most holy-ground- surreal-ness of “is this really happening” comes in meeting people and seeing how beautiful the bride can be.

At the Russian Orthodox Church scheduled to meet a contact at 10 a.m. and had been told that church didn’t like Protestants or Americans, so try to speak Chinese.  We met utterly delightful Russians and as they realized we truly were interested in them, the bell, and their history, they repeatedly thanked US for caring about their history and trying to preserve it. My friend wrote more about the experience and about the bell. You should read what she wrote!

When our motley crew of Chinese, Russians, and Americans was finally allowed up into the bell tower, we were all in awe as we looked at an 1800s Moscow bell in an Orthodox church in a Chinese city being researched by an American.

We entered with those labels, but we exited one radiant bride. Humbled by the thought that God uses the likes of us.

Deep and wide. Deep and wide.  May our understanding of how truly deep and wide expand far beyond our fingertips.

I loved the responses to last week’s question: Where have you seen God at work? So, this week. What songs were popular when you were a kid? I’ll share a few I remember in the comments.

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7 Comments May 2, 2017

Just for fun, Learning lessons

Guess Where Pi Showed Up This Year?

If you’re new around here, you’re in for a treat! If you’re a regular, you know what’s coming and you’re still in for a treat because that is what π does . . . treat us all!

My love of π started several years ago when I was working with English teachers new to China. Kind of a curveball, right? English teachers in China? What? I know. Throughout the three week orientation period I taught small modules on expectations based on Expectations And Burnout: Women Surviving the Great Commission. Sounds about as far away from math as you can get.

One of the areas we talked about involved our expectations about God. If you would like to hear overly optimistic, Sunday School answers about the nature of God, talk to a group of people who are just starting their adventure in service in a foreign land. Hey, I get it. When I first went to China, I was star-eyed and fairly unaware of how experiences I would have in China would maybe be confusing to what I thought I knew about God and how He operated.

The chapter on expectations of God is worth getting the book! I knew I ran the risk of either being too simplistic or sounded like a bitter “been there, done that” old-hand when it came to God. How could I lead a discussion on the amazingness of God from an angle that was unexpected.

Hit a group of English teachers with a math lesson, that’s how.

In case you’re a bit rusty on math, π comes from taking the circumference of a circle and dividing it by its diameter.  Marvel in this π:

  • Never stops.
  • Never repeats.
  • Is irrational (in the mathematical sense, not emotionally)
  • You always see something different because it never repeats. No pattern exists. Even at about best attempts to be random, as limited humans we cannot help but have patterns.
  • It is quite mysterious.

What a beautiful description of God. Every single circle literally radiates the glory and majesty of God.

That lecture—those who heard it might have called it preaching because of how animated and passionate I became—was the start of my love affair with pi.

March 14th is π Day (3.14, get it?! Love it!?). Two years ago was the Ultimate π Day since Pi is 3.141592… and the date was 3.14.15. Last year was Well Rounded π as 3.14159 rounds up to 3.1416. What was the date last year? 3.14.16.

Well rounded pi

What more could be said about Pi? Have no fear, Pi is the gift that keeps on giving.

1. Like most of life, Pi is never the same two year in a row. Two years it might have been the Ultimate Pi day, last year it is Well Rounded Pi. 

Of note this year, Niece #3 is at Outdoor Lab this week for school. Since  π day is in the midst of when the 6th graders will be gone, they are having a contest to see who can say the most digits. Want to try it with your friends? Why not.

Might I recommend this song to learn as many digits of pi as you can. It is catchy! Enjoy.

A friend sent me a picture she took at a McDonalds in Chengdu (where I used to live many moons ago):

Can you believe it? I love it.

Which leads me to my next reason I love  π.

2. Pi can be whimsical and fun. A friend asked me why I talk about math so much.  Simple answer is so much beauty and fun exist in math. Unfortunately that is not the the  message most (at least Americans) believe. Pi Day offers us a chance to challenge this message in the best way! Jokes. Songs. Cartoons. Food. Come on, you try and throw a better party.

3. Not only is Pi different each year, so am I. Pi doesn’t actually change, but I liked the sound of that sentence. What I mean is that my relationship and understanding of pi is dynamic. I also change each year. This year, for the first time, I won’t be able to eat pizza or pie. Sigh. Elizabeth kindly texted me saying, “I can’t stand the thought of you not having pie, I could make you a tart using almond flour.” You know you are in a mathy family when there is sadness over mathy fun. Here is hoping that next year I can at least eat a small piece of pizza.

::

For fun 

  • Listen to these songs: Pi Songs 1 and Pi Songs 2 — be amazed at the relationship between music and math.
  • Tell of of these Pi jokes — who can you tell one to?
  • Laugh at the Pi cartoons — the cleverness just bowls me over!
  • Tap into your artsy side with Pi-ku
  • What it means to live Life vs. Life Ala Mode

Happy Pi Day! How are you different this  π Day from other years? What are you doing to celebrate? Any other stores or businesses getting in on Pi this year?

Amy :)

P.S. The family is eating raspberry blackberry pie. Yum! What kinds of pie are your favorite?

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3 Comments March 14, 2017

Faith, Learning lessons, Messier than normal

When a bit player in your life takes center stage

It started off simply enough.

I had an infection and went to the pharmacy to get over-the-counter medication (as I have before, no biggie).

Then the infection returned while traveling. Sigh. Oh well, still, no biggie.

Then it returned.

Then it returned again.

Now, I may not be the quickest to get myself to the doctor, but four infections in about a month? Um, apparently another approach was needed. Praise Jesus for people who sit in labs and have no social life and figure out how to make pills that cure what ails the rest of us with social lives and jobs and people counting on us!

Until said prescription ends and the infection returns. Why do “emergencies” always happen after hours or on a weekend?! (I put it in quotation marks because I get that my situation is not life-threatening. I often think a situation is an “emergency” when in truth it is more distracting or uncomfortable or just plain annoying. I also notice how these situations make my vernacular choice a tad dramatic).

According to the internet, cutting out a few foods would help me feel better.

Fair enough.

I would have said that I was an overall healthy eater. Oh sure, I like a piece of chocolate after dinner. And if pizza was a food group, I would have had no problem meeting the quotient. But, hey, there is “bad pizza” and “good pizza.” You know, with only veggies and no silliness like stuffed crust.

So began the change in my relationship with food. No carbs, no problem! We will kick this infection and move on with life. After all, I like tofu and hummus and Kalamata olives.

I was referred to a specialist and put on six months worth of medication. But—oh people—my body doesn’t really seem to be responding to the medication, so he said, “You will need to starve it out of your body. Anything it eats, you don’t.”

I’m not proud of this, but I cried as I walked out. I thought, “I don’t mind giving up pizza for a while. After all, the side effects right now are so awful, I don’t want to eat it. But if I had known the last time I ate pizza was THE LAST TIME, I would have enjoyed it more. I would have savored each bite. I would have been more present. And now I can’t give pizza a proper goodbye.”

It is easier to say what I can eat than bore you with what I can’t. Plain greek yogurt, meat, and most veggies are sustaining me. It is still surreal I haven’t eaten fruit since November (other than lemons and limes). My new party tricks are actually annoying food facts.

Did you know there are moldy and non-moldy nuts? And mold likes to make things grow? So, no peanuts, cashews, or pistachios for me. Did you know vinegar is in yellow mustard? And vinegar is processed in yeast and yeast likes to make things grow? Did you know soy sauce has soy which is a bean which is a carb which is VERY ANNOYING? Did you know that the “ose” in “lactose” refers to sugar and sugar likes to make things grow? Did you know chicken bullion is 1% sugar?

Oh, I had lost track of the time too. It is getting late. I can totally understand why you and the kids need to go to bed at 6:30 p.m. 

Food has moved from being comforting to part just-for-survival and part medicine as I try to cooperate in my healing.

I go through waves of fear. Fear?! I have never been afraid of food. But it is so much easier to eat at home and know that I am not risking setting my healing back by months.

To waves of gratitude. My mind wanders to my friend Mike who died last September. If all Mike had to do was alter his diet to stay with his family and feel better he would have done it. All I have to do is alter my diet and my life goes on pretty much as it has.

I have learned how much food is woven into culture. Be it holiday baking or a favorite meal for a birthday to casually hanging out with friends, food is often the center. It is exhausting to have a part of life that is usually a bit player take center stage.

It turns out that food, even in Western individualistic countries, is far more communal than I thought. My diet restrictions have impacted my family. It has impacted get-t0gethers and what I can and cannot eat. It makes all who come near me think through menus and restaurants and rituals. I wish I did not have to take so many on this path with me.

And yet.

And yet, the kindness shown also comes wave after wave. The research people have done. The recipes people have tried. The thought and effort put into not merely keeping me alive, but also finding ways to thrive in this new land we find ourselves. The Psalmist said to “Taste and see that the Lord is good.”

His goodness has also come in comments. “Amy, what is tricky is that you are sick, but you don’t look sick so you have to get all of your work done while finding time to go to the doctor and learn a whole new relationship with food. All the while you need more rest and to slow down and listen to your body.” I teared up when a friend said this. “I see that you are sticking to this. I know you are not eating what you shouldn’t be.” Sometimes all it takes is a witness. Someone to say, “I see you. What you are doing is not un-seen.”

It started off simply enough, but isn’t the same true for many of life’s profound lessons? When I signed up to write about food, I thought the infection was dead and I’d be reporting more from the “after” side of these lessons. Instead, this is a report from the front lines. I am still in process of learning and leaning into the not-as-resolved-as-I-would-like parts of life.

I know you can relate.

What has been impacting your relationship with food recently? Any new loves? Or foods you are needing to avoid?

~~~

Have you listened to Looming Transitions?  A version of this post first appeared on Velvet Ashes. Image by Karen Huber. Happy weekend friends! Any fun plans?

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12 Comments March 3, 2017

Faith, Learning lessons

Singing with gusto about death and destruction

I attended Sunday School faithfully, but nothing from those years really stands out except gathering weekly to sing. I vividly recall every Sunday morning the various grades shuffling and shoving, as we were corralled into the Fellowship Hall. Frank Mower (name changed) lead us in singing, one of his great loves. Bless him for Sunday after Sunday showing up to lead us in song, whether we sounded good or not! We sang with gusto and, at times, hand gestures and actions.

A few months ago I found myself humming a tune I’d sung in that Fellowship Hall week after week.

It was a catchy tune I hadn’t thought of in years. I started to sing it under my breath and it was as if I was hearing it for the first time.

Life was filled with guns and war,

And everyone got trampled on the floor,

Did I seriously sing in church about guns, wars, and trampling? With other children? Not as a joke or part of a skit, but in worship? Even trying to harmonize, as much as elementary kids can harmonize, under the direction of Mr. Mower?

I wish we’d all been ready

Why?

Children died, the days grew cold.

A piece of bread could buy a bag of gold.

Were there no adults that thought this might not be the most appropriate song for children to sing? About them dying? Starving? Did I mention it was an upbeat tune?

I wish we’d all been ready.

There’s no time to change your mind,

The Son has come and you’ve been left behind.

I have a scene in my mind of a scene from a movie we were shown: an abandoned mixer still running. The message, you too could be raptured while baking. Are you sure you won’t be left behind? I think it was a clip from A Thief in the Night. It turns out the song we sang on Sunday Mornings was written by Larry Norman and was the movie’s opening song. As a kid, I knew none of this; I just knew it was a catchy tune.

Man and wife asleep in bed,

She hears a noise and turns her head he’s gone.

I wish we’d all been ready.

The song at least is thorough. Baking or sleeping. Alone or with someone, when it’s time, there will be no warning. Mom, Dad, gone in an instant. Are you sure about your parents’ salvation? Are you sure about your own?

Two men walking up a hill,

One disappears and one’s left standing still.

I wish we’d all been ready.

The lyrics are based on passages from Matthew and Luke that refer to two women grinding, two people in bed, and two people on a hill and one taken, the other left (ah, now I get the mixer, aka modern day grinder). Based on scripture, yes, but age appropriate? Not so much. Of all the songs we sang, this song is the one that I’m humming and wondering what was up with the 70s.

Now, it’s true that I sang about trampling and starving and turned out fine. I don’t think my theology is overly whacked and I’m not afraid of hiking, baking, or sleeping. But here is why it matters: music is powerful because of the way our brains are wired to recall information. Young minds are like sponges when it comes to memorizing, making that a key age for pouring in spiritual nourishment.

To the Frank Mowers of the world: you have a hard, hard task. Thank you for showing up week in and week out ready to engage, pour into, and love on our young people. As a gentle reminder, what you are doing now, will live on. On Sunday morning you have a sea of squirming bodies, but someday far, far in the future, a song you sing this Sunday will pop into their heads and they will hum.

When that happens, they might turn to a co-worker and say, “Hey listen to this” and actually hear what you poured into them so many years before. May the words out of their mouths be something more edifying than “seriously”?

(This post first appeared several years ago on a blog that no longer exists. I didn’t want it to totally disappear.)

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6 Comments February 24, 2017

Book, Faith, Learning lessons

Need an idea to celebrate the 500-year-anniversary of The Reformation?

These are a few of my favorite things:

—History

—The Christian Faith

—Biography

—Good writing

—(Singing songs from The Sound of Music, but I digress)

Combine them all together and you get one of my ultimate good things: A history book that also is biographical and that helps me understand both my faith and Christian history better. Sounds like a tall order, doesn’t it?

But I bring you good news! Such a book exists!

Knowing that October 31, 2017 will mark the 500 year anniversary of what is know at The Reformation, I wanted to do something this year to mark it, but what? Author Michelle DeRusha has been working on Katharina and Martin Luther: The Radical Marriage of a Runaway Nun and a Renegade Monk that comes out today and offered me an advance copy.

Manna from heaven, people. I tell you this book is manna that will feed, entertain, and educate all while being so readable. If I’m honest, this book goes on my stalker list. You know, those books that when you read you feel compelled to stand up, walk around the house and find someone to read a part of the book out loud to. Multiple times a day.

Katharina and Martin Luther: The Radical Marriage of a Runaway Nun and a Renegade Monk is such a book. Michelle captures the culture (like did you know many nuns and priests were nuns and priests because their parents basically had to sell/give them to the monastery to finically help their own families?), the big picture church context, and the personal (you will grow to know Katharina and Martin in ways that humanizes both to the point you wish Katharina made some of her beer for you!).

I loved this book so much I couldn’t help—polite book stalker vernacular— but ask Michelle some questions about it:

1. How long did you work on this book? Roughly what percentage did you research and what percentage did you write?

It took me about eight months to research and write the book. It’s hard for me to estimate exactly what percentage of that time was devoted to research and what percentage was devoted to writing, because I did each in segments. For instance, before I wrote the early chapters about Katharina and Luther’s years in the convent and monastery, I did all my research on monastic life in the Middle Ages/early modern period. Once I had compiled copious notes on that topic, I wrote those chapters. Then I moved on to the chapters on Luther’s theology. I researched his major theological treatises, especially his writings related to marriage, and then I wrote those chapters. And so on and so forth. So I didn’t do all the research and then all the writing, but went back and forth as I focused on different aspects of their lives.

Suffice to say, though, I did A LOT of research. I pretty much abandoned all reading for pleasure during those eight months and almost entirely read books having to do with Luther, Katharina, the Reformation, and life in early modern Germany. I was constantly spouting facts to my family, who frankly didn’t really care what Germans in the 1500s ate or wore. But I kept talking about it anyway, because I couldn’t help myself!

2. What did you have to cut out but you wish you hadn’t?

I became fascinated with the topic of monastic life in the Middle Ages/early modern period when I was researching it, and ended up writing quite a bit more about that subject in the first draft than was actually included in the final book. My editor told me to “rein it in.” That was a good call on his part, because people typically aren’t going to read this book to learn about every little detail of monastic life, but instead are probably looking for a well-rounded picture of Katharina and Luther’s life together. I lost my focus for a bit there and followed my own interest rather than keeping the interests of my readers top-of-mind. My editor graciously got me back on track.

Meet the author of this amazing book . . . Michelle DeRusha

3. What are one or two facts from either Katharina or Martin’s life that still surprise you?

Oh, where to begin? Regarding Katharina, I was shocked to learn that women during that time period were not considered citizens unless they were married. Single women, including widows, were required to have a male guardian who oversaw their finances and general livelihood. Single women were truly in a precarious position.

I was also surprised by the genuine tenderness shared by Katharina and Luther. Going into this project, I knew Katharina and Luther had married for convenience (or I should say, she married for survival, he to make a point), rather than love. But what I didn’t understand before I began to explore their marriage was that they grew to genuinely love each other, and they shared a remarkable respect and affection for one another. It was truly a delight to see how their relationship grew over time.

4. Have you always liked history? How did writing this book influence how you see our modern day from a different perspective?

I haven’t always been a big history fan in the classic sense. I didn’t typically enjoy history classes in high school and college, and I was never one to, say, pick up a book about the American Revolution or the Renaissance. I have always loved biography, however. I clearly remember reading biographies of Clara Barton and Florence Nightingale in grammar school, and even when I was in graduate school, I often read biographies of women writers and artists, like Virginia Woolf and George O’Keefe, for pleasure. I think personal story is my preferred lens through which to view history. History has to be grounded in narrative for it to be meaningful for me.

Without getting too much into politics here, I will say that researching and writing about Luther’s theology of marriage helped me understand our modern-day discussion of marriage in a deeper, more comprehensive way. Luther reformed the institution of marriage, and 500 years later, we are still exploring and grappling with the results of those reforms and with the definition of marriage in general. Luther began a conversation we are still engaging in 500 years later, and I think that’s fascinating.

Michelle, thank you! I love hearing more about a book :). Your editor may have been right, but if you want to write a supplemental book, you have at least one reader!

Dear Messy Middler, if you are going to do only one thing this year to mark the 500 year anniversary of The Reformation, read this book. Then stalk your friends and family, annoying blessing them with insights because you cannot not share (and we all know what double negative do . . . they make us do that which we could not not do).

Because any anniversary is more fun with presents, you can win a copy of Katharina and Martin Luther: The Radical Marriage of a Runaway Nun and a Renegade Monk by leaving a comment and telling us one of your favorite things OR a piece of trivia about The Reformation or the Luthers. I’ll chose a winner on Friday and get you set up for your weekend reading :).

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19 Comments January 31, 2017

Community, Faith, Learning lessons

What a homeless man taught me on Christmas morning

If I’m not careful, you’ll miss the point of this post. Not because you are dumb, but because I mistold it. This is about what a homeless man taught me, not what I had to offer him.

what-a-homeless-man-taught-me

This starts with my sister Elizabeth who several years ago got the idea to look for homeless people on Christmas morning and bring them a hot breakfast and a hot cup of coffee. She rallied her family and they bought or made:

  • 30 plain gift bags which the girls decorated
  • 30 New Testaments
  • 60 clementines
  • 30 homemade packets of sugar and creamer
  • 30 homemade Christmas cards saying that God loves them and they hope for a good year for them
  • 30 breakfast burritos heated up and kept in a warmer until delivered
  • Over the years they have learned to add other things such as hand warmers and a big trash bag—the trash bag is a hit with many who have no home
  • They also borrow a large coffee holder from church so they can pour hot coffee when they see someone

The family loads up at 7 a.m. on Christmas morning and drives downtown — praying on the way. Each girl has a particular role to play in the assembling of the bags as they get ready to hand them out while they drive around.

I do not tell you all of this so you will think or say, “Gosh, that’s so amazing what THEY do.” I go into such detail so you will maybe get an idea of something you can do. Maybe your gig isn’t the homeless or breakfast, no worries. But the Holy Spirit is so creative and in love with people, I believe you will get a stirring in your soul as your read this. Just start with small steps.

I went with them this Christmas. Want to fight consumerism? Look people in the eye who sit in a camp in the middle to the city as your exchange names, and you will be humbled by all you have. Gently ask a person in a sleeping bag in a door step if they would like breakfast and some coffee. Pray with a woman in a wheel chair who is banned for 60 days from the bus station. Your true blessing on Christmas isn’t in the presents, it is in the love and presence of people. It is in the building of memories. It is in the being together. It’s in remembering this is exactly why Christ came. We still need Him today.

Here is the mystery of our faith at work: as you are being Jesus to the least of these, they are being Jesus to you.

Most of the time we were all in the vehicle manning our stations with Elizabeth jumping out and engaging people. Exchanging names. Wishing them Merry Christmas and offering then food and beverage. As we neared the end, she was taking coffee to a man as another man we wanted to offer breakfast heading another way. Niece #2 and I hopped out of the vehicle and took off after him with a breakfast burrito.

He was fast. Not because he was running from us, just because . . . he was a very fast walker! Across the street, around the corner. “Sir,” I yelled, “Merry Christmas, would you like some breakfast?” He didn’t hear me. We picked up our pace, following him on a sidewalk cutting off to the right going under a bridge. Just as he passed a small retaining wall we caught his attention and nearly scared another man living behind the wall.

The first man wanted the burrito but no coffee and cheerfully went on his way. To the second man we asked if he would like a breakfast burrito and coffee and that we’d need about five minutes to go and get it and return, but we would return. He lit up and thought that would be nice so as we took off and he kept hanging his laundry on the retaining wall.

Elizabeth joined us and the three of us returned with food and beverage in hand. (At this point we had run out of sugar and creamer packets, so Elizabeth carried a carton of half-and-half and tupperware of sugar. Again, I share all of this, so you can get an idea of what can be done). Donald startled when we rounded the corner. Man, scarring him twice? Not cool. Such is life, eh?!

Yes, he’d take cream and four spoons of sugar. Then he asked, “Are you praying people?”

We are. Would you pray for me? Of course. Elizabeth and I held Donald’s hands as #2 held the cream and sugar. Elizabeth prayed for him and then he asked if he could pray too. Please do!

Andrew Murray wrote the classic With Christ In The School Of Prayer. Donald was my teacher on Christmas morning as I entered another classroom in the School of Prayer. If I was homeless I think I’d pray for shelter, safety, warmth. I’d probably pray to be left alone by the police. I think I’d pray to be fed on a consistent basis. I might even pray to have more than a retaining wall to hang my clothes.

Donald, instead, prayed for Jesus to help him in character issues. He prayed a prayer you or I could have prayed. For Jesus to help him in areas such as stubbornness. I don’t want to share all he prayed because that feels voyeuristic; suffice it to say Donald didn’t concern himself with his earthy comfort. He prayed for who he is as a person.

That sounds about right doesn’t it? Not that Jesus doesn’t care about our homes (I do believe they matter to him) or our safety (ditto on mattering), but maybe my priorities can be off.

Maybe instead of putting shelter, safety, and health so high on my list of focus—both in prayer and life in general—Jesus wants me to be mildly more interested in my character and the fruit of the spirit.

Isn’t this part of the mystery and the marvel of Christ at work? We serve and often end up being fed.

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6 Comments January 4, 2017

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My name is Amy and I live in the messy middle of life. I have been Redeemed from permanent muck and live with the tension of the Already and Not Yet. Read More…

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