Me: Please take me to (and I give dirctions to the cab driver, all in Chinese)
Driver (after we’ve been driving for a while): So, is your family in China?
Me: Actually, I’m not married.
Driver (tilting rearview mirror to see me more clearly and muttering): But you look so normal.
True conversation. In all fairness to taxi drivers and random strangers, my singleness is socially odd in China. Virtually everyone is married by age 30 and as you near that date the pressure to marry can be extreme.
Today I’m over ad Ed Cyzewski’s In.a.mirrior.dimly, having a frank chat about my singleness. Because it is frank, I feel a bit exposed and I say things that not all are going to agree with. I’m not trying to be provactive, but to share from my experience. Please check it out and leave a comment, I really would like to hear your response.
“Why are you single?” I don’t know how often married people are asked why they are married, but I have a feeling it is less often than singles are asked the reasons behind their marital status.
It’s often followed up with “Are your standards too high? Have you been hurt? What vibes are you putting out?” Yes, to my face, out loud, these questions come. Sometimes condescendingly, other times in genuine wonder, trying to put together my awesomeness with my singleness.
My answer varies depending on my mood and depth of relationship. But in my rawest, most honest moments I say:
The can be found here: In which we have a frank chat about my marital status.
On a totally different topic, my friend Holly wrote about going on a hike with students and I. SIMPLY.MUST.SHARE. If you’ve lived in China, you’ve had one of those kind of experiences and if you haven’t, it’s a great peek into cross-cultural living. Read it here.
I do look forward to your thoughts, Amy
*Picture from Kalun L