On the Facebook page for A Life Overseas I posted this as a teaser for a post I’d written:

When we use the language like “we’re going to lose X” it tends to push X in the dark where it isolates people. Today, let’s shine some light into one such corner.”

Online dating

Kay Bruner  sparked this short dialogue in respond to the prompt:

Kay: And, I think when we say, “we’re going to lose X”–we’re objectifying X as a commodity for our use… which feels really bad to me. Like it doesn’t matter what brings life and fulfillment to “X”–just what matters to the “we” who needs to use “X”.

A Life Overseas:  Wow, I hadn’t thought of it that way, but I can absolutely see what you are saying. This, again, challenges me to keep people first. Which, at more times than I wish for me, is hard smile emoticon (this, by the way is Amy).

Kay: Yeah, I think that putting people first is a huge challenge in missions in general. Thanks for bringing this up, Amy.


In the post I shared A Dirty Little Secret of Singles on the Field and hope you’ll pop over to find out what it is.


I believe that most of us truly value people and work hard to do what is best for them.


But isn’t it easier to value people when nothing is at stake? I know I’m much kinder when I’m sitting alone thinking how kind I am than actually interacting with an incredibly ANNOYING person who apparently has been sent  to (a) test my kindness OR (b) show the gap between my fantasy version of myself and reality.

“We’re going to lose X” is a form of scarcity thinking. Amazing, isn’t it, how easily it sneaks in. Are there times to examine the use of resources such as how we’re using our money, time, or talent. Of course. We are called to be stewards.

How does that song go? They’ll know we are Christians by our stewardship, by out stewardship, yes they’ll know we are Christians by our stewardship!

Not quite. Smile. Hum with me the third verse:

We will work with each other, we will work side by side,
We will work with each other, we will work side by side,
And we’ll guard each one’s dignity and save each one’s pride.

Just a little bit louder now:

And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love,
Yes, they’ll know we are Christians by our love.

It’s easy to be afraid of losing. Losing time, people, effort. One of the greatest antidotes to fear is love.


You’re welcome. You might have that song stuck in your head now :). To get it out, what other songs might work as a sound track for this post? What might be an example of choosing a person (or people) over the idea of “losing” them?