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Book, Books I've read (or want to read)

Top 10 Books of 2020

I love year end book lists! I love reading yours and creating mine. The processes of looking back over the books I read in a year brings back memories of where I read them, why I liked (or disliked) a book, and what stands out from the year.

Very surprising to me, four of my top ten books are fiction. People, there are so many gems out there! Summaries from Amazon.

Best Non-fiction of 2020:

1. Atomic Habits by James Clear

I have pages of notes and in January predicted this would be on of my best books of 2020. “Atomic Habits will reshape the way you think about progress and success, and give you the tools and strategies you need to transform your habits–whether you are a team looking to win a championship, an organization hoping to redefine an industry, or simply an individual who wishes to quit smoking, lose weight, reduce stress, or achieve any other goal.”

2. The Common Rule: Habits of Purpose for an Age of Distraction by Justin Whitmel Earley

If ever there was a book that as I read I thought, “Dang!!! This is the book I wish I had written.” This is it. So, if you jive with the way I think and approach life, consider this to be by Amy Young who is Justin Earley. Pages of notes (duh! Since it’s the book I didn’t write). “The answer to our contemporary chaos is to practice a rule of life that aligns our habits to our beliefs. The Common Rule offers four daily and four weekly habits, designed to help us create new routines and transform frazzled days into lives of love for God and neighbor. Justin Earley provides concrete, doable practices.”

3. Didn’t see it coming by Carey Nieuwhof

Anyone in ministry (or who works with people) should read this! The author, “wants to help you avoid and overcome life’s seven hardest and most crippling challenges: cynicism, compromise, disconnectedness, irrelevance, pride, burnout, and emptiness. These are challenges that few of us expect but that we all experience at some point.”

4. Talking with strangers by Malcolm Gladwell

I love Gladwell and his style of writing so much and this did not disappoint. “Something is very wrong, Gladwell argues, with the tools and strategies we use to make sense of people we don’t know. And because we don’t know how to talk to strangers, we are inviting conflict and misunderstanding in ways that have a profound effect on our lives and our world.”

5. Upstream: The Quest to Solve Problems Before They Happen by Dan Heath

Dan and his brother Chip are two of my favorite authors and I read every thing they write. This is, hands down, the best nonfiction I read this year because of the ways it has put words to thoughts I’ve had while propelling me to apply what I read. The entire Global Trellis team is reading it and I think you should too :). “Upstream delivers practical solutions for preventing problems rather than reacting to them. How many problems in our lives and in society are we tolerating simply because we’ve forgotten that we can fix them?”

6. This too shall last: Finding grace when suffering lingers by K. J. Ramsey

In the church too often we “amplify the stories of triumph” and we need to “hear more about sustaining grace.” To say I loved a book about suffering might sound like a note sung out of tune. But that’s the point. “Our culture treats suffering like a problem to fix, a blight to hide, or the sad start of a transformation story. We silently, secretly wither under the pressure of living as though suffering is a predicament we can avoid or annihilate by having enough faith or trying harder. When your prayers for healing haven’t been answered, the fog of depression isn’t lifting, your marriage is ending in divorce, or grief won’t go away, it’s easy to feel you’ve failed God or, worse, he’s failed you. If God loves us, why does he allow us to hurt?”

Best fiction of 2020

7. A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles

“I’m satisfied,” I said to myself at the end. Though one of the longer books I read this year, I didn’t want it to end! When asked about the theme, Towles said, “There is no theme but beauty.” and I can testify that it is some of the most beautiful writing out there. If you have not read A Gentleman in Moscow, get it right now. Right now :)!

Here’s the description: “In 1922, Count Alexander Rostov is deemed an unrepentant aristocrat by a Bolshevik tribunal, and is sentenced to house arrest in the Metropol, a grand hotel across the street from the Kremlin. Rostov, an indomitable man of erudition and wit, has never worked a day in his life, and must now live in an attic room while some of the most tumultuous decades in Russian history are unfolding outside the hotel’s doors. Unexpectedly, his reduced circumstances provide him entry into a much larger world of emotional discovery.”

8. An Absolutely Remarkable Thing: A Novel and the sequel A beautifully Foolish Endeavor by Hank Green

These were recommended by a Summer Reading Challenge participant (and this is why it’s good to talk about books in community. I never would have picked these up!). For both books, the entire first half I thought, “Why am I reading this? I don’t like it.” and then WHOOSH I was sucked in and had to find out where the plot was going and how it was going to be resolved.

Here’s why you might want to try it out (and keep reading past the halfway point!): “Compulsively entertaining and powerfully relevant, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing grapples with big themes, including how the social internet is changing fame, rhetoric, and radicalization; how our culture deals with fear and uncertainty; and how vilification and adoration spring for the same dehumanization that follows a life in the public eye. The beginning of an exciting fiction career, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing is a bold and insightful novel of now.”

9. The War That Saved My Life and The War I Finally Won by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

My sister’s friend showed up on her doorstep with these two books. “You will love them! You must read them!” If you have not heard of this Newberry Honor book, picture me showing up on your doorstep with both books in hand and thrusting them at you. They are amazing!

Here’s the descrition of the first book: “Ten-year-old Ada has never left her one-room apartment. Her mother is too humiliated by Ada’s twisted foot to let her outside. So when her little brother Jamie is shipped out of London to escape the war, Ada doesn’t waste a minute—she sneaks out to join him.
 So begins a new adventure for Ada, and for Susan Smith, the woman who is forced to take the two kids in. As Ada teaches herself to ride a pony, learns to read, and watches for German spies, she begins to trust Susan—and Susan begins to love Ada and Jamie.”

10. Harry’s Trees by Jon Cohen

In my notebook I wrote, “Harry’s Trees is beyond fantastic! It is a brilliant modern day fairy tale that has all the pieces—red coats, a wolf, magic, a young girl in the woods, and treasure—all while keeping its own story moving forward.” If you like a Gentleman in Moscow or Orleana is Totally Fine, you will love this too!

Here’s the description: “Thirty-four-year-old Harry Crane works as an analyst for the US Forest Service. When his wife dies suddenly, Harry, despairing, retreats north to lose himself in the remote woods of the Endless Mountains of Pennsylvania. But fate intervenes in the form of a fiercely determined young girl named Oriana. She and her mother, Amanda, are struggling to pick up the pieces from their own tragic loss of Oriana’s father. Discovering Harry while roaming the forest, Oriana believes that he holds the key to righting her world.

“Harry reluctantly agrees to help Oriana carry out an astonishing scheme inspired by a book given to her by the town librarian, Olive Perkins. Together, Harry and Oriana embark on a golden adventure that will fulfill Oriana’s wild dream—and ultimately open Harry’s heart to new life.”


Honorable mention: Connected by moi and Spiritual Rhythms for the Enneagram by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, Doug Calhoun, Clare Loughrige, and Scott Loughrige My only caveat is that if you get this is a marvelous handbook, you want to get the physical copy. The digital copy, I read online, is very hard to read. “For those who have learned about the Enneagram and wonder ‘What’s next?’―this handbook is the answer.”

There you have it! My top ten books in 2020. Which have you read? What’s on your to-read in 2021?

You might also enjoy the lists from previous years:

9 Books I Loved in 2014

10 Books I Loved in 2015

My top 15 books in 2016

The 17 Best Books of 2017 

Top 10 Books of 2018

Top 10 Books of 2019

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December 28, 2020

Book

Connected is here!!

You are my people and I love you! Many of you watched Looming Transitions be born and launched her into the world far beyond my wildest dreams. Since then you have cheered on each subsequent book. . . that sentence alone humbles me! “Each subsequent book” would not exist if you had not encouraged me as a writer, shared the books with people who could benefit from them, or the countless other ways you helped.

Can I tell you a secret?

I almost didn’t ask for your help with Connected: Starting Your Overseas Life Spiritually Fed because I didn’t want to become like a tedious guest or three-day-fish . . . or a too-much-Amy. But that makes this process about me, and not about what it should be about! It’s not about me or you . . . well, not much! It’s about the readers; and more than that, it’s about the right readers finding the right book at the right time.

A small army signed up to read a copy of this book before it was published. Why is this important?  So that today, the day she is officially presented to the world, people can read the reviews and get a sense if this is the right book for them. 

Publishing a book is a bit like having a baby: it’s a lot of work, the time frame it not always exact, and you want to share with everyone!!!

Today I have several posts sharing about this book, but here, in this space, picture me bursting into the waiting room—because though the process is like given birth, I’m more able to burst into rooms—waving my arms and shouting, “She’s here!” Knowing that you want to join in the fun. Hugs all around. Smiles and joy and wanting to know what you can do. 

1. Celebrate! Of course, I hope this book sells decently because I truly believe Connected will help cross-cultural workers start their time on the field connected to God.  

But if this book sells and I have no one to share it with, what have I gained? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. What is worse than watching sports by yourself and having no one to high-five? Nothing. Okay, there are worse things, but in that moment, it’s pretty low.

I’m high-fiving you! Woot, woot! If you weren’t here, there would be no book. I did it. You encouraged me. We did it. Let’s enjoy this moment.

2. May I boldly ask, buy a copy of Connected? Purchased copies through Amazon are the only way that Amazon will start to recommend Getting Started as an “also bought.”

4. Suggest or give Connected to someone you know who is in their first year. The best way a book sells is through word of mouth. If you tell them and they know you, they are much more likely to buy it. All organization should give Connected to their first year people!

5. Leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads. It does not need to be five stars (though if that’s what your heart is saying, go with your heart!). Amazon is funny, she just likes to see the amount of reviews. The more reviews (even three or four star), the more she will say, “Hey, maybe I should tell other people about this book.” The goal is 50.

6. Tell someone about Connected. You know tons of people I don’t know. You know people living in Sweden or working at this church or for that organization. You know your neighbor’s cousin who is moving to Brazil or your former coworker who recently started his life on the field. You know mission committee members and pastors and counselors.

Here are photos if you want to share on social media, a blog, or in another way.

You might be a blogger who would like to interview me or write a review of Connected (I can offer a copy as a giveaway). Who could you tell about this book?

To all who read the book and wrote reviews, thank you!!! Thank you to Stacey Covell for editing and to Vanessa Mendozzi for the cover design and formatting.

To all who will help me celebrate, thank you!

To all of you, thank you for being my online, Amy-the-person people. You are my people, and I love you!

Now, let’s pop the cork on the bubbly, the fizzy apple juice, or the diet coke. Whatever is celebratory to you and let’s party!  I raise my glass to you and say, “Thank you.” Clink! It is so good to be Connected.

Leave a comment and two of you will win a copy (if mailed in the U.S.) or on Kindle (anywhere in the world). What fruit of the Spirit are you enjoying or needing these days?

With love and gratitude,

Amy

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November 19, 2020

Book, Summer Reading Challenge

What is Beautiful? (and a giveaway!)

My friend Abbie has written her first children’s book: What is beautiful? She sent me an advanced copy and asked me to write a short blurb. This is what I wrote:

“Reading What is Beautiful? I had the sense that for a few minutes I was back in the Garden of Eden, in the cool of the day on a walk with God. This small book speaks volumes with lyrical prose and engaging illustrations about how we are each made in the Image of God, beloved from the beginning, and unique in our own way. Though a book for the ages, it is a must read right now.”

Obviously I loved it. You must read this book!

I also love hearing about the process for an idea to become a book and asked Abbie if she’s be up for a few questions. She graciously said yes! Yay!

Abbie, what seeds planted the idea that grew into What Is Beautiful?

Honestly one could find plethoras in the soil of my last fifteen years of writing. Both Celibate Sex (through singleness) & Stretch Marks I Wasn’t Expecting (through early marriage & motherhood) spend many’a pages unpacking God’s beauty & “what is beautiful.”

More immediately though, two years back we were hosting friends for New Year’s Eve and decided to have everyone share something “beautiful” & “brutal” from their previous twelve months. On the way to buy food that afternoon, I was sitting at a red-light thinking about the semantics of the word beautiful, when “be-you-to-the-full” felt like it dropped in my lap. That seed has been filling-out ever since.

This is your first children’s book, I imagine it’s different writing a children’s book from your other books. I’m curious how this project was similar to and different from other projects?

Different, indeed! The red-light revelation, plus seventeen lines that came to me in a few hours (versus years) was a distinctly new experience for me. Thus far, my experience of children’s writing seems night and day from grown-up people writing. Truth be told, however, the words and message of What Is Beautiful? had been growing in me for years. 

Although I chuckle and say the children’s book took me only an afternoon to write, it’s important for me to remember that God had been birthing the lines for months and years, and many carry layers of wounds and journeys and hardship (like eating disorders & shame). In other words, I don’t want to underestimate the road that led me to that red-light, prompt thought it was in the moment. 

What is it like working with an illustrator? (Ashley did an amazing job!!) Did you know her? Did the publisher introduce you? Did you finish the words first and then she did the illustrations? So many questions :)!

Oh wow, I don’t know enough about children’s realms to know if this is often the case, but I LOVED working with Ashley. She’s a 20-something bundle of joy with utmost humility and talent, which was blissful to work alongside. Frankly that “working” and friendship were developed by us though, and not necessarily a norm for author / illustrator relationships. Once Parent Cue had my words, that was really all they needed from me; from there, they did all the work of hiring and steering illustrations with Ashley. (And I’d guess stacks of children’s books will be in her future; that girl is gold.)

Any other children’s books in your future?

Haha, not that I know of. For whatever reasons, I’ve not been writing much lately. Hard to fathom any other books on my radar right now, but I’ve been known to say that before.

What is your hope and prayer for What Is Beautiful?

What a lovely question. Unlike other writing and books I’ve done, What Is Beautiful? seems to be connecting with readers who aren’t followers of Christ. It would be my highest honor as an author to hear that someone discovered more about, or maybe even for the first time, truths of God & his beauty through these pages.

Thank you Abbie for offering us a peek behind the curtain!

Abbie’s publisher is sending me a copy to share with one of you! I’ll mail it within the US, so you could get it yourself or win as a present for someone.

Leave a comment and you’ll be entered to possibly win of What is Beautiful. Comment ideas: What stood out to you in the interview? How’s the Summer Reading Challenge going (note next Tuesday the 18th is the end!) What’s a favorite children’s book?

See you next week with the Summer Reading Challenge roundup!

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August 10, 2020

Book, Books I've read (or want to read)

Top 10 Books of 2019

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

The internet is awash with lists containing the “Best books of 2019.” I love reading them and seeing which books I’ve read, which are on my to-read list, and which are brand new to me. Here is my list, enjoy!

1) All That’s Good: Recovering the Lost Art of Discernment by Hannah Anderson —I preferred this to her book Humble Roots. “Discernment is knowing the difference between what is good and what is better. And sometimes seeking what is better means learning to trust God while you wait for him to
1) All That’s Good: Recovering the Lost Art of Discernment by Hannah Anderson —I preferred this to her book Humble Roots. “Discernment is knowing the difference between what is good and what is better. And sometimes seeking what is better means learning to trust God while you wait for him to supply it.”

2) When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing by Daniel Pink — One of the signs of a good book is how much I am compelled to read parts out loud to people near me. Let’s just say, I basically did the audio version of this book. Even now, reviewing my notes I have almost gotten off track with working on this post. So good!

3) On Reading Well: Finding the Good Life through Great Books by Karen Swallow Prior — Organized by Cardinal Virtues (prudence, temperance, justice, and courage), Theological Values (faith, hope, and love), and Heavenly Virtues (chastity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility), this book is written slightly above my normal level. It pushed me in a good way and got me to think on another level.

4) The Light of the Fireflies by Paul Pen — One of several fiction books to make my list, Fireflies was a surprise read in 2019 because I had never heard of it. My Tuesday night book group read it and I think I liked it the most. I loved this book. Some in our group hated it. I was so curious to see what was going to happen and it reminded me of other books I loved (The Secret Annex, Born a Crime, Educated, and fiction book House of Sand and Fog). This is the story of how one bad decision can cascade and what you think you know . . . you’re wrong. I underlined the word loved in my notebook and it is only .99 on Amazon as of this writing.

5) Birding Without Borders: An Obsession, a Quest, and the Biggest Year in the World by Noah Strycker  — In 2015 Noah traveled around the world with the goal of seeing 5,000 different bird species. He ended up seeing 6,042! I love books that following someone for a year and give me a taste of that world. This book opened my eyes to how many birds there are and the quirky, kind, and passionate birder community.

6) Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine: A Novel by Gail Honeyman — Also read for my book group and unlike Fireflies, Eleanor was universally adored. This is a book about loneliness and the power of human connection. My mom described Eleanor as a flower blossom opening. I felt like a better human being for having read this.

7) Anne of Green Gables: A Graphic Novel by Mariah Marsden (author) and Brenna Thummler (illustrator) — a first ever! A graphic novel made the list. Months later, I can still picture these stunning images that captured the original book so well. In a word, delightful.

8) Leadership: In Turbulent Times by Doris Kearns Goodwin — Looking at four presidents (Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, FDR, and Johnson), this book explored their ambition, adversity, growth, and the times they served in. Each one had truly trying issues to face.

9) Britt-Marie Was Here: A Novel by Fredrik Backman — Britt-Marie finds herself aged 60, separated from her husband, and needing a job. She moves to Borg for a temporary job and becomes a soccer coach to a team that has been forgotten. I laughed more than I expected and then I cried more than I expected. Backman is a genuis at capturing cranky people who have tender elements. His books challenge me to see beyond the surface.

10) The Newcomers: Finding Refuge, Friendship, and Hope in America by Helen Thorpe — Follows the lives of twenty-two immigrant teenagers throughout the course of the 2015-2016 school year as they land at South High School in Denver, Colorado. These newcomers, from fourteen to nineteen years old, come from nations convulsed by drought or famine or war. Many come directly from refugee camps, after experiencing dire forms of cataclysm. This book brought back many memories of teaching ESL over the years.

Honorable mention:

Of course, Getting Started and Enjoying Newsletters have to make the list. These labors of love make me smile. One of my reading goals for December was to reread The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson. It had been years since I read it. Why had I waited so long? If you are looking for a short, delightful read that points you to wonder of this season, this book is for you.

You might also enjoy the

9 Books I Loved in 2014

10 Books I Loved in 2015

My top 15 books in 2016

Have you read the 17 Best Books of 2017 and

Top 10 Books of 2018

Have you read any of my 10? What would you recommend to fellow readers?

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December 18, 2019

All the News, Book

Why I changed the title and cover of my book

Let me begin by saying that I loved my previous cover and title. Loved them, so this was not an easy decision. But it was a necessary one. Sigh.

Here’s the thing, I loved the cover, but it did not help potential readers know what the book was about. It did not place the reader in a story and show them how it would benefit them to read it.

And what is writing about? In a book, it is about the reader.

One last time, here is the beloved cover:

I am still amazed that Vanessa Mendozzi, my cover designer, created such a three dimensional cover. My first idea to her—and you will quickly see why I am not a cover designer—was to have a smiling face with a bit of lettuce on a tooth.

Why? Because the idea of the book is that many people who write (be it on social media, a blog, or newsletters) don’t realize they have “lettuce on their teeth.” I know I didn’t. As I grew as a writer, I kept thinking, “I’m not stupid, why didn’t anyone tell me this before, I could easily have removed this lettuce on the teeth of my writing!”

As the months went by, I realized, this cover is beautiful, but not helpful in communicating. I take full responsibility! Vanessa presented several options, and this is the one I chose to go with.

Now let’s talk about the title: All the News That’s Fit to Tell and How to Tell it. I still like it. I like how it cleverly points to the decisions that a cross-cultural worker has to make when they write a newsletter. I like that she has a nickname, All the News. Or in my notes, ATN for short.

Here is what I have learned

Combine a cover that is more like a piece of art and a title that is clever and what do you have? A book that not many read because they don’t realize it will help them.

In the midst of this, I wrote Getting Started. Well now, what do you notice about that title and Looming Transitions? Both are two words and start with an “ing” word (getting and looming). Again, with the reader in mind, I wanted to find a two-word title that started with an “ing” word. I landed on Enjoying Newsletters.

Enjoying Newsletters is exactly what I want the reader to do . . . enjoy communicating with his, her, or their supporters.

So, how does an author go about changing the cover and the title?

Decide to make the change. Feel sad. Feel happy. Feel overwhelmed.

Figure out the new title. Run it by friends. Tweak it. Land on a new title. Enjoying Newsletters: How to Write Christian Communication People Want to Read.

Contact Vanessa. Explain the need to update the concept. Love her even more as a cover designer when she is also sad because the loved her first cover, but understands.

Drag your sister into helping you refine the new cover. I happened to be visiting Laura and Sue when Vanessa got me the new covers. Laura helped me select from the five. But the cover was a bit too tied to China (I want a more global feel) and way too pink for men to read. Poor Laura was a saint as I texted her iteration after iteration. Imagine an eye test from hell. Which did you like better? The blue or the green? This font or that? How about this one?

Let’s take a quick break because you might be wondering what to see the new cover. I really do love this one too :)!

Seeing the new cover helps to keep going with the steps, doesn’t it! Thinking of the reader, I love how this cover invites the reader to eat fun food while working on a newsletter.

Back to the process!

Contact Andy who formatted the book and have him change any reference to ATN to the new title . . . mostly in the endorsements.

Gather new files for the book interior (print and ebooks) and covers (print and ebooks). Publish the Enjoying Newsletters. Unpublish ATN.

Contact Amazon and figure out how to link the reviews from ATN with Enjoying Newsletters.

(If you are curious, technically ATN still exists, but is “invisible.” Which is cool, but annoying when the ATN cover was what was publicly shown, instead of the new cover. You might find it interesting that I helped Amazon with a Tom Young solution. My dad was known for creative solutions that might not have been pretty, but they were effective. I uploaded the Enjoying Newsletter cover to the ATN file. As long as it stays unpublished, that image is the only one Amazon can find! Ha! The representative I talked with wondered why no one had thought of this solution before. I almost told him, “Because none of you were raised by Tom Young!”)

So there you have it, the process of changing a title and cover of a book. If you have a project that you need to revisit and make changes and wonder if it is worth it? I would say, go for it.

In the end, I’m glad that Enjoying Newsletters has a name and cover that help readers know what to expect.

Have you ever needed to revisit a project?

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November 19, 2019

Book, Summer Reading Challenge

Join “Getting Started” Launch Team

Hello friends and happy August to you!

My book Getting Started: Making the Most of Your Frist Year in Cross-Cultural Service is almost ready for release. (Wild clapping and cheering and tears of joy!)

One of the advantages of being an independent author is that I do not have the same type of pressure that traditionally published authors have for a big push the week their book is released. Best-seller lists and numbers of books sold can mean life or death of a book for traditionally published authors. While my books do not have that kind of pressure, I still need your help.

I’m excited to share the cover:

For the first time ever, I am organizing a launch team and inviting YOU to help launch Getting Started into the world! You can join the team by answering a few short questions. (Click here)

Here is what on endorser said: “Every person’s first year of transitioning abroad is challenging, full of unexpected cultural, emotional, interpersonal, and spiritual navigation. While it is easy to question your ‘fit’ for the field, Amy’s storytelling and research will affirm that you are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be. Allow Amy to comfort you with her entertaining experiences and her refreshing honesty!” Lauren Pinkston, Cofounder of Wearthy

What’s involved?

If accepted to the launch team, here’s the fun to you get to join in:

  1. You will receive an advanced copy of “Getting Started: Making the Most of Your First Year in Cross-Cultural Service” and will agree to leave an honest review on Amazon and Goodreads (no obligation for five stars!).
  2. You will be added to a closed Facebook group that will be open for four weeks: two weeks before launch, two weeks of launching Getting Started.
  3. Share as you want — on social media, with an organization you know, on your blog, whatever feels right to you.
  4. Share in the joy of helping hundreds (really thousands) get the most out of their first year on the field :).
  5. Have my eternal gratitude!

I am excited to share this journey with YOU! Join now and don’t miss out on the fun.

Thanks! Amy

P.S. The Summer Reading Challenge will end a week from Friday (on August 16th). I have about fifty pages left on Leadership: In Turbulent Times by Doris Kearns Goodwin, a graphic novel to finish, and a young adult book planned. How’s it going for you?

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August 4, 2019

Book, Books I've read (or want to read)

Three “T” Reasons to Read “The Tea Girl”

Since I lived in China, many assume it was China that turned me into a tea drinker. It wasn’t.

I became a tea drinker in 1991. My friend Kim moved to Scotland after college and part of her job was to visit the elderly from the church in their homes. One of them asked me, “Do you take your tea with milk or sugar?” They assumed I drank tea and it seemed easier to say, “Milk,” than to claim not to be a tea drinker. And the rest is history. To this day, I love tea and drink it with milk.

Lisa See will be familiar to many because of her modern classic Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. In October my American book group read her recent book The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane. While everyone enjoyed it, it was clear I enjoyed it more than the others, making me think other China hands might enjoy it too.

Amazon describes Tea Girl this way:

In their remote mountain village, Li-yan and her family align their lives around the seasons and the farming of tea. For the Akha people, ensconced in ritual and routine, life goes on as it has for generations—until a stranger appears at the village gate in a jeep, the first automobile any of the villagers has ever seen. The stranger’s arrival marks the first entrance of the modern world in the lives of the Akha people. Slowly, Li-yan, one of the few educated girls on her mountain, begins to reject the customs that shaped her early life. When she has a baby out of wedlock—conceived with a man her parents consider a poor choice—she rejects the tradition that would compel her to give the child over to be killed, and instead leaves her, wrapped in a blanket with a tea cake tucked in its folds, near an orphanage in a nearby city.

I do not tend to read much fiction, so if you are like me hopefully the description intrigues you. But if you’re still not sure, here are the three “T” reasons I recommend The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane:

  • The Time Line
  • The Topics Covered
  • The Tea Culture

The Time Line

Written in five parts, The Tea Girl covers these time frames—1988-1990, 1994-1996, 1996-2006, 2007-2008, and 2012-2016. Starting in a remote village among the Akha people, the reader meets a people group that could be described as primitive, not just traditional when compared to other parts of China. In the early section, the reader encounters beliefs related to appeasing the spirit world that may disturb most readers.  It reminds those of us interested in China that 1988 was not that long ago. As the story moves through time, the reader is introduced to characters in Hong Kong, California, and other parts of China. You see again how rapidly China changed and developed. The recent changes in China might feel extreme (because they are extreme), but the pace at which they have come is not all that different than the pace of change the last thirty years; it is the direction the change seems to be going that has caught our attention.

The Topics Covered

As I reviewed and made notes of the topics covered, I was startled by how many See stuffed into one book. Then I realized, “Hey, the same could be said of my China experience.” And probably of yours. The Tea Girl considers the complex topic of foreign adoption from both the China (birth mother) and, in this case, American (adoptive family) side. Hayley, the adopted daughter, and child of one of the main characters, loves her adoptive family but has many questions about her birth culture and story. Her response to her adoption is not the “I’m so grateful to be adopted!” story and this unfolds as we watch her adoptive parents navigate parenting her. See weaves in multiple adoptee experiences, broadening the often one-dimensional portrayal of adoption.

In addition, The Tea Girl includes marriage and widowhood at a young age, finding work in Guangzhou, the growing gap between the poverty many minorities experience and the explosion of the billionaires among the Han and Hong Kong businessmen, the tensions between traditional and modern culture, marriage markets run by parents of aging singles, and the debate between western versus Chinese medicine. I bet the potpourri of topics mirrors your China experience too.

The Tea Culture

Though I have consumed thousands of cups of tea in China, I did not know much about the tea culture beyond rinsing the leaves in boiling water.  The Pu’er tea industry seemed to explode out of nowhere when I lived in China. Though too extensive to go into depth in this review, I enjoyed the tea aspect of the book because See included enough details to help the reader know more than rinsing the leaves in boiling water without bogging them down in technical minutiae. Tea became a character in its own right in this novel and any China hand worth her weight in tea leaves will be glad to understand the tea culture better.

One More “T” Comment

The primary negative comment from my book group is that the ending was too tidy. After going on an epic journey with the characters, the ending wrapped up all loose ends, leaving nothing to wonder for the reader. I so enjoyed the Chinese culture part of the book, I forgave and overlooked the wham bam feeling of the ending. But I wanted to warn you and hope you will pick up a copy of The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane by Lisa See. Overlook the ending, pour yourself a cup of Pu’er tea, and enjoy reading The Tea Girl.

 

A version of this first appeared on the China Source blog

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March 26, 2019

Book, Faith

Who is the True You? {And a giveaway!}

I first met Michelle years ago when I was new to blogging and leaving comments like a crazy woman all over the web, clearly flirting with both making friends and being the person people ran from. Ha! Thankfully Michelle realized a sane person was beneath all my crazy. We have been on similar, yet different paths as authors. Michelle got an agent and has been traditionally published, while the doors that opened for me were in the independent publishing world. Thankfully, both are wonderful ways for books to come to life.

This is not Michelle’s first time here at The Messy Middle. A couple of years ago I interviewed her for her book Katharina and Martin Luther: The Radical Marriage of a Runaway Nun and a Renegade Monk. Michelle has a new book out, so of course, I wanted to chat with her about it!

Meet the author of this amazing book . . . Michelle DeRusha

Michelle, we are so glad you are here today. I love to hear where the idea for a book came from.

Could you share a bit of how you got the idea for this book?

The idea was actually sparked during a family vacation to Oregon a couple of summers ago. We visited the Portland Japanese Garden, where our tour guide explained a particular Japanese pruning technique called “open center pruning.” She talked about how removing so many of a tree’s branches and limbs allowed the “inner essence” of the tree to be revealed. This, she explained, created a sense of openness, space and tranquility, not just within the individual trees themselves but in the garden as a whole.

I couldn’t get that pruning image out of my head, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that open center pruning could be a powerful practice for our spiritual lives as well. As we slowly prune away the extraneous bits of ourselves — the parts that detract from who we really are and who God created us to be — we will begin to flourish and live into a new openness and spaciousness in our lives and in our faith. I wrote a blog post about the metaphor of open center pruning not long after we got back from our trip, but I still couldn’t shake the image. It aligned so well with some of what I had been reading at the time — Richard Rohr, Henri Nouwen, Ruth Haley Barton, for example — that I began to entertain the idea of a book. Two years later, that original blog post about my trip to the Portland Japanese Garden grew into True You.

Wow. I can see why you couldn’t shake that image!

How did you research and prepare to write True You?

It really was a slow process. Over a period of a couple of years, I had been compiling notes from my reading into journals. At one point I went back and read through the journals cover to cover and realized that I had been chewing on some of the ideas for this book for a long, long time – there were some clear themes threaded through my own writing and reflected in what I was reading. I went through my journals and highlighted all the quotes and my own thoughts that pertained to the topic of true versus false self, and I realized I had a ton of research and information. So it was a matter of culling through it, organizing it and figuring out what I wanted to include in the book.

The writing of this book was a much more contemplative, reflective process than my previous books. It was slow going, because I first had to figure out how the Holy Spirit was leading me and the wisdom the Spirit was imparting to me about my own relationship with God, and then I had to try to make those insights applicable and accessible to others. Even though True You has a lot of my story in it, I really do hope that the themes and message are universal.

What is your writing process?

I do my best creative work in the morning, so after I get my kids off to school and the house somewhat in order (one of my quirks is that I need to have uncluttered surfaces around me – like the kitchen counters, the coffee table and my desk — before I get to work. A “clean” workspace helps makes for an uncluttered head…or that’s what I hope for anyway!), I usually go for a short run or a walk, shower and get dressed, and then am at my desk by 9 a.m. or so. I try to do about 3 to 3.5 hours of writing before I break for lunch. I work two days a week for The Salvation Army, so the other three days a week are my writing days. I try to write in the morning and then revise and edit in the afternoon before I leave to pick up my kids from school at 3 p.m. Truth be told, I prefer revising and editing over actual writing; polishing a piece is more fun and so much less fraught for me! The “blank screen” is the WORST.

(This is Amy, I love hearing about your writing process because it is so different than mine! And two weeks ago at the Writers on the Rock Conference, Philip Yancey said the same thing! He finds writing hard but loves the research and editing phases.)

(I’m going to babble first and then get to my question.) Michelle, I think we are drawn to similar subjects and ideas! I have been taken with the idea of “The Language of Eden” for years. We are so good at speaking “Eden Lost,” we forget it is not our native tongue. With Lent, I was thinking that True You might be an ideal (if unconventional) Lent read. I was looking at the description of True You and this part caught my eye:

“Similarly, we begin to flourish as we let go of ourfalse selves and allow God to prune us open. Michelle DeRusha helps readers:

– learn how to declutter their hearts, minds, and souls through the practice of directed rest

– let go of busyness, striving, and false identities to embrace their truest selves as beloved children of God

– grow in their relationships, vocations, communities, and intimacy with God”

Back to Amy and my question. Often people will fast during Lent, with sugar or caffeine commonly chosen. But I was thinking, what if people gave up busyness or striving or false identifies for Lent. Well, what if people try to :)! Knowing we will fail, yet God will meet us even in our daily (hourly?! minutely!!!) failings? So, my question is, what ideas or suggestions do you have for someone who would like to fast from busyness, striving, or false identities?

That’s such a good question, and I LOVE the idea of fasting from busyness, striving or false identities as a Lenten discipline (I’m actually doing a social media fast this year for Lent). My advice would be to find a few minutes – even just five or ten minutes a day – to sit in silence, stillness and solitude. Silence has been a critical aspect of my ongoing journey toward uncovering my true, God-created self. We live in an incredibly noisy culture, and even when we do have downtime, we tend to fill it with more noise: social media, technology, social activities, etc. Silence makes many of us anxious because we are unaccustomed to it, and so we endeavor to fill even our smallest slices of quiet time with distraction.

God will reveal the parts of ourselves that are false, the parts of us that are not aligned with him, but often, we can’t hear from him because our lives are too noisy and too busy. I say in True You that our minds need time and space to catch up with what our souls already know. In order to begin to even identify the false parts of ourselves, we need to be quiet enough and still enough to hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit speaking deep in our souls. So integrating a daily practice of intentional rest into our every day would be one way to begin to quiet the clatter of our hearts, minds, and souls. As I write in the book, this period of intentional rest doesn’t need to be long – I’m not talking a whole day squirreled away in a monastery at a silent retreat (though that would be lovely!). Five minutes is a great place to start, and you will be amazed what even five minutes, practiced regularly over time, can do for your physical, mental and spiritual health.

Michelle, I’ve really enjoyed our chat! And I imagine the readers have too.

If you would like to be entered to win a signed copy of True You, leave a comment (about anything!). What stood out to you in the interview? What gets in the way of you being your true self? What are you reading for Lent? Do you practice silence, stillness, and solitude? What does that look like for you?

P.S. If the winner happens to not like in North America, I’ll get you a kindle copy and draw a second name. :)

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March 11, 2019

Book

26 Books Related to Leadership and Communication

I record the books I read in a notebook. In part to track how many books I read in a year. In part to have a record of what I read. But neither reason is why I started this habit. Years ago one of my colleagues in China asked me about a book I had read the year before and for the life of me, I could not recall anything of substance. What?!

As soon as I finished a book, I moved on to the next one without building in any reflecting time. So, chose a pretty notebook and started to write down a short blurb for each book I read. Sometimes my blurbs are brief summaries, other times, I write down what I want to remember from a book.

Recently I was asked what I’ve read in the last four years related to leadership and communication. You know I love nonfiction, so it’s not surprising my list was long-ish, almost too long for one post. But who doesn’t love a good list? For your sake, I disciplined myself not to say too much about any one book. If you’d like to know more, just ask!

Without further ado, here are the 26 books I read in the last five years related to leadership and communication.

1. Me, Myself, and Bob: A True Story About Dreams, God, and Talking Vegetables by Phil Vischer — “This is a story of dreaming big and working hard, of spectacular success and breathtaking failure, of shouted questions, and, at long last, whispered answers.”

2. Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook: How to Tell Your Story in a Noisy Social World by Gary Vaynerchuk — “Thanks to massive change and proliferation in social media platforms, the winning combination of jabs and right hooks is different now.”

3. Contagious: Why Things Catch On by Jonah Berger — Berger reveals the “science behind word-of-mouth and social transmission.”

4. slide:ology: The Art and Science of Creating Great Presentations by Nancy Duarte

5. Resonate: Present Visual Stories that Transform Audiences by Nancy Duarte — The power in a story of going back and forth between what is and what could be.

6. Supersurvivors: The Surprising Link Between Suffering and Success by Lee Daniel Kravetz and David B. Feldman

7. Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone and Shalia Heen — I’m realized I have so much I want to say about this book, I’ll do a separate post. So good!

8. With: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God by Sky Jethani — An absolute must read. The end.

9. The Weekly Coaching Conversation: A Business Fable about Taking Your Team’s Performance and Your Career to the Next Level by Brian Souza — Not my fav read, but a good reminder as a leader to be intentional with those I work with.

10. Sticking Points: How to Get 4 Generations Working Together in the 12 Places They Come Apart by Haydn Shaw — So many “ah-ha!” moments reading this!

11. David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants by Malcolm Gladwell — This book offers “a new interpretation of what it means to be discriminated against, suffer from a disability, lose a parent, attend a mediocre school, or endure any number of other apparent setbacks.”

12. Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant — “There are three broad styles of interpersonal dealing: taking, matching, and giving. Here’s the counter-intuitive part. If we look at the most successful people—the happiest, the most likely to be promoted, etc—they are generally givers, and if we look at the least successful, they too often tend to be givers.”

13. Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown — “The Way of the Essentialist isn’t about getting more done in less time. It’s about getting only the right things done.”

14. The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming Your Inner Life Will Deeply Transform Your Church, Team, and the World by Peter Scazzero — Highly recommend! “Scazzero shows leaders how to develop a deep, inner life with Christ, examining its profound implications for surviving stress, planning and decision making, building teams, creating healthy culture, influencing others, and more.”

15. Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t by Simon Sinek

16. Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter by Liz Wiseman and Greg McKeown — “In analyzing data from more than 150 leaders, Wiseman has identified five disciplines that distinguish Multipliers from Diminishers.”

17. Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade by Robert B. Cialdini

18. The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else In Business by Patrick Lencioni — An absolute must read! I’m using this book with the Connection Group Facilitators this fall.

19. Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World by Adam Grant

20. Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant

21. Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life by Susan David

22. The 4 Disciplines of Execution: Achieving Your Wildly Important Goals by Sean Covey, Jim Huling, and Chris McChesney — Absolute must read.

23. Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport — Excellent. So good on understanding how the brain works and the importance of building in time for deep work. I have been frustrated that I’m stuck doing so much shallow work, this book was a big help to bring change.

24. The Power of Healthy Tension: Overcome Chronic Issues and Conflicting Values by Tim Arnold — My new fav book; I love it so much I have worked in these ideas into talks I’m giving at writers groups around Denver, a presentation I made in Germany to cross-cultural workers, and a keynote address I’ll give in February at a cross-cultural conference to mainly those who send people overseas. Suffice it to say, the impact this book has had on my thinking and understanding of situations that are a part of life is far and wide and if you get with a two-foot radius of me, you’re gonna hear about this book!

25. 5 Voices: How to Communicate Effectively with Everyone You Lead by Jeremie Kubicek and Steve Cockram — Here is an Instagram post I wrote about this book.

26. The Five Most Important Questions You Will Ever Ask About Your Organization by Peter Drucker

///

How many have you read? Any catch your eye and are now on your “to read” list? But more importantly (to me!), what have you read related to communication or leadership and would recommend I read?

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November 4, 2018

Book, Travel

Reading Around the Baltics

You know I turned 50 in December.

You know I believe in marking milestones.

You also know I love my people, history, culture, and traveling.

Combine all and what do you have? A Baltic Cruise and the chance to visit a new part of the world. One of my fellow travelers was my friend Joann, our books—one about transitions, another about Chinese church bells—are book cousins. So, is it any surprise that as we traveled we thought of books we read or want to read related to our travels.

Copenhagen, Denmark

We started off in Copenhagen and in preparation for our trip Joann listened to The Almost Nearly Perfect People by Michael Booth—I’m thinking it is a must read because as our travels continued, Joann kept referencing it. “Journalist Michael Booth has lived among the Scandinavians for more than ten years, and he has grown increasingly frustrated with the rose-tinted view of this part of the world offered up by the Western media. In this timely book he leaves his adopted home of Denmark and embarks on a journey through all five of the Nordic countries to discover who these curious tribes are, the secrets of their success, and, most intriguing of all, what they think of one another.”

Berlin, Germany

If you look at a map, Berlin is not by the coast. So, calling is a “port city” on the cruise might be a bit lose and fast with definitions. But the three-hour bus ride from the ship? Totally worth it. We started off at the Olympic Stadium where Jesse Owens won his gold medal as the Nazis downplayed their plans for the world. I highly recommend the movie Race and now plan to read these books, all recommended by Joann.

Olympic Stadium in Berlin

At the Berlin Wall

In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler’s Berlin by Erik Larson—”The time is 1933, the place, Berlin, when William E. Dodd becomes America’s first ambassador to Hitler’s Nazi Germany in a year that proved to be a turning point in history.”

Berlin 1961: Kennedy, Khrushchev, and the Most Dangerous Place on Earth by Frederick Kempe—The Berlin Wall

Bridge of Spies by Giles Whittell—You might have heard of the movie, Joann said the book, not surprisingly, goes into more details and if you have to choose between book or movie, choose the book.

The Collapse: The Accidental Opening of the Berlin Wall by Mary Elise Sarotte—It was an accident! That November night in 1989 when the wall came down because the person speaking to the press was reading a press release and . . . you will have to read the book to find out the rest!

Tallin, Estonia

Sadly, I don’t have any books directly related to Estonia, but this year I read Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys. In this Young Adult Novel, “Fifteen-year-old Lina is a Lithuanian girl living an ordinary life — until Soviet officers invade her home and tear her family apart. Separated from her father and forced onto a crowded train, Lina, her mother, and her young brother make their way to a Siberian work camp, where they are forced to fight for their lives.”

St. Petersburg, Russia

Nicholas and Alexandra: The Classic Account of the Fall of the Romanov Dynasty by Robert K. Massie—I read this in high school and fell in love with one of the last Czars, his wife, their son who had hemophilia, and the mystic Rasputin. On our tour, we visited the Peter and Paul Fortress and Cathedral, where all of the Czars are buried, including Nicholas, Alexandra, and Alexis. The next day we toured the Palace where Rasputin was murdered. I am eager to read this a second time.

The final resting place of Czar Nicholas and his family

The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming by Henri Nouwen—This book is one of my favorite five books of all time. So, when I heard we would be going to St. Petersburg and go to the Hermitage, I felt quivery inside. I need to reread it. If you haven’t you must read it. Please.

Dreams do come true

Symphony for the City of the Dead: Dmitri Shostakovich and the Siege of Leningrad by M.T. Anderson—My niece Emily read and recommended this book to our family. I now need to reread it! “In September 1941, Adolf Hitler’s Wehrmacht surrounded Leningrad in what was to become one of the longest and most destructive sieges in Western history—almost three years of bombardment and starvation that culminated in the harsh winter of 1943–1944. More than a million citizens perished.”

Helsinki, Finland

The Almost Nearly Perfect People—mentioned above.

Stockholm, Sweden

Almost Nearly and The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson—this international bestseller is described as “A reluctant centenarian much like Forrest Gump (if Gump were an explosives expert with a fondness for vodka) decides it’s not too late to start over . . .” So, you can tell it’s fiction. I’m wondering what it is about Sweden that turns out such good storytellers? I’m thinking of A Man Called Ove and Fredrik Backman.

We returned to Copenhagen and each began the long trek home because there are books to be read! What books do I need to add to my list?

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September 10, 2018

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My name is Amy and I live in the messy middle of life. I have been Redeemed from permanent muck and live with the tension of the Already and Not Yet. Read More…

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