It was time for prayer requests and through tears and a few sobs I asked for my joy to be returned. I said I was losing myself and my joy was gone. I wasn’t depressed in the clinical sense, I was depressed in the spiritual sense and I wanted me back.
The next morning, hung on my door was this pillow:
My teammate had gone home and dug through her Christmas decorations (I didn’t find that detail until much later). She told me to hang it in my apartment as a reminder that my joy would come back. She didn’t know when or how long it would take, but she knew God was faithful. I hung it on my bathroom door so I could be reminded multiple times a day.
My joy has returned and is returning. I’m not quite to where I was before it was taken, but I’m also further along in understanding joy than if it had not been taken. Did you get lost there in the paradox? Me too.
Joy is not personality or circumstance based. Joy is a position of the soul that is not touched by futility, despair, or being disgruntled. And joy, at least in Eden, is necessary! And in Eden, it will not be assaulted.
But here in Eden Lost, joy can be lost, or stolen, or taken from us. In another small group prayer time, another teammate shared that their joy was missing and they needed prayer. I realized that my joy was stable enough to pass on the joy pillow.
I don’t know if heaven will need decorations and I understand material objects of this world aren’t meant for the next. But if one or two things make it, look for this pillow. I think it might make the cut.
What has helped hold your joy until it was returned?
All the posts in the series will be added to this page each day of October. If you would like to receive these reminders in your email inbox, it’s easy! You can subscribe now by entering your email where it says “Jump into the Mess!” I am enjoying the journey together. Amy
Reminders: Love, satisfaction, extravagance, freedom, belonging, recreation, truth, trust, purity, submission and power, unity, kindness, blameless, with abandon, acceptance, celebration, faith, generosity, joy.