Archives for June 2013

China, Community, Cross cultural, Ending Chapters, Faith

In which God brings a comment to life

It began with a comment on my mother’s day post and resulted in pizza in Beijing.

Like many who “discovered” The Messy Middle, it was through a friend posting it on her Facebook wall. (Can I just say, I owe much to something I used to mock . Oh dear hypocrisy, I wish we weren’t so well acquainted. And now dear FB, we are friends, and by that I mean real friends, not FB ones. Wink!).

She left a lovely comment and in part wrote:

I shall have to follow your blog now. And, actually, I have to ask: how do you feel about meeting fans in person? I’m going to be in Beijing the first week of June to visit a friend and… well, I could get you food, or coffee, or stop by your office or something. :)

How do I feel? Giddy! Once again, the mother’s day post has brought blessing into my life. After several emails we set up a time and a Saturday evening in early June found me heading off to Houhai in Beijing for Hutong Pizza.

Waiting for M at Houhai. It was entertaining sport to watch the massive amount of paddle boats try to miss each other.

The month of my departure from my current job was upon me. Meeting Morielle was a blessing in its own right — she is a delightful conversationalist! — but it was also a gift from God as he allowed me to meet one of YOU. You who I don’t know from my many years in China or from strands of my life. You who know me here, in words only, and have allowed me the privilege of showing up in your inbox or through other means of following The Messy Middle. Like these paddle boats, you’ve got plenty going on, yet you say, “Hey, there’s room for you to paddle by in this crazy lake we call life.”

As I walk away from a very known and beloved community here in China, I wonder if my world is going to shrink. Will I be less interesting? Many people in my life listen to me because they HAVE to :) … let’s be honest, when I’m up front with a microphone and a title, you don’t have much choice but to listen to me (or at least pretend to).

Through Morielle, God said, “You silly goose. You can only see what you can see. Morielle was sent on behalf of others. Your time with this microphone and the dear people you’ve known for 20 years is coming to an end, but your influence and your gift of noticing and then your (ridiculous obsession) with sharing will go on. There will be others who will invite you into there homes and hearts. You won’t get to see all of their faces and know all of their names and that part, oh dear relational nut, will be foreign for a while. But enough of them will comment so that you will begin to know them. And some you’ll even get to meet in person because I love you and know your wiring.”

At the end of the evening Morielle humored me with a photo. And though my face looks like a baseball diamond come to life, that joy is real! Would a few of YOU leave a comment and introduce yourselves? I’d be over the moon — who knows what other sports will show up on my face :). She also wrote about our evening on her blog and you can read her perspective here.

Who has God used recently to remind you you are a ‘silly goose’ and He’ll humor you because he loves you!

China, Cross cultural, Ending Chapters, Faith

Dear one, your waiting is over

Dear one,

When I returned to China after my study leave, we’d had three years together. Your older sister was able to write to me herself. Your younger sister, well, she was young enough that she could only hold onto the idea of me, but due to her age I faded from her. But you, you remembered me in your own four-year-old way.

When Valentines Day came you dictated the following to your mom:

And I wept when I read it.

I missed you too. And I love you. And part of me has also been waiting until I came home.

Your love, and the love of your sisters, never faded the way your Valentine did.

I knew it would fade, but I wanted to look at it every day and know that this call, though worth it, costs you too. So I hung it where it would be exposed to day light and not packed away, with false safety, in a drawer. Much like the love we share, exposed to the elements and not guarded out of fear. You hadn’t asked to be a part of this overseas life, you were born into it, yet you loved me wide and fierce none-the-less.

And today, today, your wait is over. I leave soon for the airport and as hard as it is to go, knowing you and others have been waiting, softens the blow.

I’m on my way back. Get those arms ready for a hug :).

Your crazy Aunt Amy

China, Cross cultural, Faith

In which I am disturbed {a holy disturbance}

I texted her You want to go for a walk? It had been a day of defrosting and sorting while the rain poured cleaning out the air. Still full from lunch, I wanted to walk before doing yet another round of dishes.

Sure. Let me finish bathing the kids and hubster will put them down. (That’s not really how she talks, that’s an Amy translation.)

And so we walked into the cool of the night, headed first for the local park (pictures at that link from a morning walk in the spring). It’s alive at night! Turns out there is a “dancing with big ribbons” club. Who knew?! Maybe I can bring that back to America. Maybe not.

We exited the park onto a street that’s under massive construction and has become a bit of a migrant village alive with village activities. A man getting his hair cut under a single light. Stores spread on blankets. Food vendors selling freshly cut fruit.

This picture obviously wasn’t taken at night. Picture a single slight bulb hanging above, same guy, same chair.

Years ago, to the left of this picture, a massive four lane bridge was built going over a canal. On either side of the bridge small hutong/alley neighborhoods existed. But that bridge meant that the City had other plans and come one day, those alley communities would be replaced. Both sides now look like the background of this picture. But every night, that abandoned bridge becomes a local community setting with vendors and restaurants and snake oil.

On nearly my last night, my heart broke afresh.

Going up the stairs to the “bridge” we heard a loudspeaker and if you’ve been in China, thought nothing of it. Loudspeakers are a dime a dozen. But there were flashing lights and a ginormous crowd gathered around. This, this in a country where you need a permit to gather in public spaces, was not a dime a dozen.

In a poignant juxtaposition as the tall buildings of Beijing lit up in the background, we had stumbled onto a countryside superstitious blessing ceremony. We joined the crowd standing on tippy toe to see — at the far end, the truck that acted as stage and sound system with flashing lights, there were two statutes that one of the “sponsors” kowtowed to and then the announcer said for anyone to come forward and for only 20 kuai (about $3.25) you too could be blessed and given a golden chain.

Where was I? What was happening? Were there plants in the audience? Is this what the shaddy medicine men of the wild west did, but with a Chinese twist?

Too many people went forward for them to be plants. Too many longed for blessing — to be touched by something holy, something that would heal them, bring them fortune– for the desires to be fake.

We were in the presence of raw longing.

It was disturbing.

To see people with so little give so much to something so empty.

The organizers had drawn a line around the perimeter and asked us, the crowd, to step back outside the line. Only two of us did, you can guess who. The crowd couldn’t help but to press in, to see others blessed, to see if a miracle was going to happen.

I thought of other crowds and of the One who had compassion on those gathered and longed to bless them. Blessed are the poor in spirit and the meek and those who mourn. On he went saying “I see you, I know your condition and the longing of your heart and I want to bless you.” Really bless you, not with a gold chain necklace that looked like carnival fare, but with blessings that will last.

We turned and walked away, sobered again by the remembrance that though great, great changes have come, too many hearts that long for blessing, are listening to charlatans. “How can I leave?” I asked. But I will, and it will be OK, because the work here has never been about me or about foreigners, the work here is the Good Shepherd’s and he loves his sheep. He does.

But every now and then, the Good Shepherd lifts the curtain, allowing us a behind-the-scene-glance of the fields yet to be harvested and reminds us — the harvest is great, keep praying, keep investing, there are are still too many who long for blessing.

Will you join me afresh in praying for China? My dishes still need doing and I hadn’t planned on writing today. But I am disturbed in the best, most holy way.

Have you seen something similar to what we did last night?

China, Cross cultural, Ending Chapters

How to know you are committed

It’s moving day.

I arrived in China many moons ago with two suitcases and I’m leaving with, shall we say, considerably more. I’m fine with that. Most of my belongings points to a life lived. How about this jewel from 1995 when McDonalds were in Beijing but not Chengdu (where I lived) — my teammate and I each had a pair and boy did we get mileage out of them!

This morning the amazing crew from Links Moving arrived and I cannot recommend them highly enough. As I filled out all of the customs paperwork and points of entry and all the details, I was so grateful that they know what they’re doing and won’t have to deal with ports or customs.

The truth is much will be left here for others to make their own lives with. But a few pieces of furniture (and boxes of books, old letters, and other a sundries) will travel on a slow boat from China.

I lived for five years in housing that was provided by the school I taught at. This was also the 90’s when things simply were not available to buy. So, when I moved from Chengdu to Beijing the only furniture I moved were two bamboo stools and a set of stacking plastic drawers. Arriving in Beijing I had to furnish my own apartment and I wrote about the ABSOLUTE joy of being given The. Most. Perfect. Amy. Couch. Ever. In what turned out to be a trilogy: What a couch can mean, What happens when answered prayer becomes old wineskins, and In which it’s easy to miss the Answerer clinging to the answer.

For some reason, furniture has taken on a sacred role in my journey. It’s not a mere couch, it’s a beloved, prayed for, longed for, grieved over piece of holy ground. At first I thought I could walk away from everything in my apartment and had the attitude I came in with two suitcases and I’ll go out with two, hot damn!

But as you can tell, that response is riddled with pride and too much about me and not enough about the broader, better, story than size of my luggage is. Sometimes less is more. And sometimes it’s just pride.

This is the first piece of furniture I bought after moving to Beijing.

Yup, that’s an outlet that is about six feet off the ground in my dining room. Where else would you expect the refrigerator to be? The poor builders just could not fathom it would be in that big space in the kitchen. I love that random outlet.

It’s more than a lovely chest (though I still chuckle at the note my mom sent me about “enjoying my lovely chest.” Oh I do Mom, I do!). This is a stake in the ground. This is a border stone. This is a gambling move that says, “I’m all in.” Up until then, sure I’d killed mice, made friends, taught students, learned about China, learned about myself, seen God through China, put many miles on my bike, nearly died and learned to LOVE numbing spicy food, but as long as I traveled light, it was easier to keep an eye on the exit. Sure, I’m here, but I can be out of here pretty easily.

This chest, this chest was a game changer. And by choosing to haul it back to I’m making another statement. Yeah, I came in with two suitcases, but I simply cannot go out through that exit. I’m changed. I’m marked in the best way by China (and in the most annoying way to Americans. Hehehe, sorry in advance if I ask you how much everything in your home costs. It’s not that I’m noisy; you own it, I know you paid for it, just tell me already, OK?!)

Until we meet again on distant shores! (and do you notice the lack of sweat!? These wonderful men got a fairly cool day to haul everything down several flights of stairs, around construction, through another building and out to the moving van. God Bless them!

Until we meet again on distant shores! Do you notice the lack of sweat!? These wonderful men got a fairly cool day to haul everything down several flights of stairs, around construction, through another building and out to the moving van. God Bless them!

And just like that, I was committed in ways I hadn’t been before. And I knew it. And I owned the commitment by turning into it, not away from it, and buying a few more pieces of furniture.

When did you know you were committed to something or someone?

China, Community

Well, I never (the truth revealed!)

Last week I asked you to decide the lie out of these four statements (meaning three are true, not true-ish).

a) I’ve been woken up by a mouse running across my face.

b) I’ve been woken up because the room next to mine was on fire.

c) I’ve been woken up by a piece of a firecracker coming through my window.

d) I’ve been woken up by someone borrowing eggs out of my refrigerator.

The guesses were all over the board — which is understandable when you combine my, shall we say, zany and open approach to life, and China’s, shall we say, zany and open approach as well.

Taken in preparation for Spring Festival Festivities.

a) I’ve been woken up by a mouse running across my face. TRUE and creepy!

My first night in Chengdu back in 1995 I was told by the head of the English Department, “Please mind the doors because there are many mice.” Our culture training (and living in non-mousy climates) had not prepared me for this greeting. Sure enough, there were many mice. I killed plenty with my frying pan when they were stuck on sticky paper until I just couldn’t take the screaming they made before I smashed them– and the fact that our school would simply peel them off and give us back the sticky paper with little tuffs of mouse hair. I switched to drowning and ruining the paper.

I woke more times than I cared to the flowers beside my bed having been nibbled (WHY didn’t I move them you ask? Because one should be able to sleep with flowers near by. Apparently Mice-1, Amy-0 on that one!). So, when one night one was cheeky enough to run across my face, it was disturbing but not that surprising. I have more good mice stories if you want to hear them :).

{May I also say, that Chengdu is one of the most amazing places ever and if it comes with a few million mice, that’s a small price to pay for its many other charms! Just in case you all crossed it off your bucket list after reading this, put it back on!}

b) I’ve been woken up because the room next to mine was on fire. TRUE

The room next to mine had some faulty wiring in a TV and it started to smolder and then burst into flame. Unfortunately (or fortunately) the room was empty so it wasn’t noticed until smoke was billowing in the hallway. Someone pounded on my door, but I take my sleep rather seriously (and probably was influenced by the smoke) and didn’t want to get up. After incessant knocking I finally joined the others outside. Though it was a guesthouse/hotel I lived in, I was one of the few people in pj’s because it was before midnight :). Thankfully it’s China and people wear their pj’s in public considerably more than in the West so all was fine. It took about an hour before they (I really don’t recall who “they” were) got the fire out and we were allowed back into the building.

Um, yeah. Not one of my finer moments, but I am serious about my sleep so I crawled back into bed with all of that toxic smoke still in the air, next to a burned out room, and went right back to sleep.

c) I’ve been woken up by a piece of a firecracker coming through my window. FALSE

You’d think?! right! But thankfully I’ve only been afraid of firecrackers hitting me as I walked around in the evenings of Spring Festival.

d) I’ve been woken up by someone borrowing eggs out of my refrigerator. TRUE

Living in the communal world of Chinese university teaching housing (especially back in the guest house era), it’s not surprising to have the keys to other people’s apartments or they yours. I will add that this happened in my current apartment and not when I was a full time teacher. Known for being a sound sleeper, traveling a good bit, and being (relatively) generous, on more than one occasion people have come into my home late at night to borrow eggs. As long as I don’t wake up, I really don’t mind. But it is creepier than a mouse running across your face to be woken up by an “intruder” albeit a friendly one!

Put a few truth and a lie in the comment section. I’ll guess and I hope a few others will too! How’d you do on guessing mine :)?

Community, Faith, Holiday

A blessing for Father’s Day

A common blessing by the Levites is recorded in Numbers 6:22-27 and adapted here. Just as the Lord asked Moses, Aaron, and the Levites to bless the people, we as a part of the royal priesthood want to bless the men in our midst.

The Lord bless you, and keep you

When it’s easy to see the blessing in the birth of a healthy child, a steady paycheck, the start of something new and exciting – and when it’s more challenging. Even if this has been a year of loss, heartache or despair, may you see and sense the ways you have been kept.

We ask for the Lord’s blessing on you today and every day.

The Lord make His face shine on you,

May you sense the ways in which God’s face shines upon you at the mere thought of you. The delight of God when he sees you working hard for those you love, making honorable choices with your words, your time, your money, and your relationships. And when your life is not so “shine-on-able,” may you have those in your life that you can turn towards, knowing where true help comes from.

We ask for the Lord to shine His face on you today and every day.

And be gracious to you;

As the Lord has been gracious to you, may he use you to be instruments of grace in our lives as well. May you have patience to put up with us on those days when it is hard, in those moments we are annoying, or when we interrupt you from doing your own thing.

We ask for the Lord to be gracious to you today and every day.

The Lord turn his face towards yours,

This year may the Lord continue to show Himself to you through many channels. May you see Him at work in nature, in the arts, in children, in the work of your hands and head, in his word, and through your significant relationships.

We ask for the Lord to lift up His countenance upon you today and every day.

And give you peace.

Peace in your heart, in your home, in your work place, in your relationships, with your finances, peace in your stage of life. Peace.

We ask for the Lord to give you peace today and every day.

Men and future men, today we ask that the Lord bless you and keep you;

the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.

Amen

*******************

p.s. Answers to Three truths and a lie Monday China time.

Cross cultural, Faith

In which I learn about the birds and bees of books

Happy Dragon Boat festival! Seeing as Dragon Boat Festival is on a Wednesday, that means we swapped Monday for Saturday and Sunday for Tuesday in order to have three days off (and the joy of working seven days straight. This is policy was not thought up by someone who teaches junior highers!).

The last few days have been spent sorting, tossing, and packing my worldly possessions and four truths have become self evident:

1. The last six years is the longest period in my adult life to live in one place. Six years does not sound like much to my middle age ears, but it’s a fairly long time in this line of work! I’m both grateful to have been rooted for six years AND sad to pack up.

2. I don’t understand the mechanics of it, but books reproduce more than rabbits. Y’all saw my books and heard my quaking voice! It’s not like I have stacks and stacks of book or books behind books. But as I started to sort out what is left of my library, they started multiplying. E-readers are convenient, they are, but I am still a fan of books I can hold. Books that as I pass off, I say, “This isn’t just a Kathleen Norris book, this is the book I was reading as I bounced through the countryside after a weekend of teaching when I heard about Columbine and knew that Denver, my Denver, was forever changed.” It’s a book and a memory (and she might have a baby, so watch out).

3. If your heart is where your treasure is, it would appear my treasure is kept in notebooks. Seriously, they were squirreled all over my apartment. In this drawer, on that shelf, even in most purses — notebooks, notebooks, everywhere. Treasure in ordinary containers, preferably with lines.

4. As if it weren’t apparent enough that I’m a words person, today I reviewed over fifteen years of correspondence that has made the cut thus far. I’m working to get it down to a reasonable amount (I’m going to leave it vague, wink). I’ve swum in old news and read of Olympics long past, work projects long completed, trips long forgotten, friends who have faced cancer, some with victories here on earth and others in heaven, babies born who are now driving (!). Old news, written in familiar hands. I’m flooded again by how RICH my life is. Valentine cards. Thank you cards, clippings from newspapers, sports updates, the marking of seasons. My parents, my sisters, friends, each niece’s hand traced and later dictations (“Fank you Oh Aunt Amy!”) and then their own precious handwriting. I am a blessed woman.

Truths unearth in an excavated life.

And here is another truth, a bit of levity is good for the soul! Saturday/Tuesday found me at my final official goodbye event. In preparation for the event those of us leaving submitted story prompts. This was one of mine:

Three truths and a lie (you decide):

a) I’ve been woken up by a mouse running across my face.

b) I’ve been woken up because the room next to mine was on fire.

c) I’ve been woken up by a piece of a firecracker coming through my window.

d) I’ve been woken up by someone borrowing eggs out of my refrigerator.

***********

So, which do you guess? I’ll answer in the comments in a few days. What truths have been made self evident to you this week?

Community, Faith, Holiday

10 ideas for pastors on Father’s Day

Dear Pastor,

Here we are a year after the infamous letter I wrote to you. I, inadvertently though willingly, have become a go-to person to share ideas for Mother’s Day and recently some of your co-laborers have contacted me asking for Father’s Day resources. The two holidays have some significant cross overs, but one is known more for honoring and one for shaming.

I believe this hasn’t been your intention, to shame men on Father’s Day. But it’s happened before (in other churches not yours, no doubt) and some men are a bit leery to cross the threshold of your door. We’re on the same page here, we want them welcomed, ministered to and pointed towards God while in your midst.

As I said with my 10 ideas for Mother’s Day, let me preface these ideas with the reminder that you are the expert on your flock, I’m not! Not all of these ideas will work in your context, they are merely suggestions (can you see I’m a bit gun shy on what might show up in the comment section :)). Take, use, discard. I am for you and this list is intended as a resource.

In the service you could:

1. Focus on scripture. If you’ve been preaching a series, keep going. If your church is one that follows the liturgical calendar, follow that. We’ve come to hear from and worship God.

2. Preach/teach on what it means to honor our mothers and fathers. Honoring parents was a common theme in the comment section of the Mother’s Day post, but what does that mean when your parent isn’t in church with you? Or when your parent isn’t easy to honor? Or they have now passed? You’ve been given a rich opportunity to teach on this subject!

3. Preach/teach on the Imago Dei and the ways that fathering reflects God. As Sarah Ruden says, “love is manically verb centered.” So is fathering. Active verbs show the heart of an active God. Providing, instructing, protecting, disciplining, coaching, serving, calming, enjoying, challenging, teaching, entertaining, worrying over, learning from, guiding, playing with, rescuing and the list could go on. One of the great joys in life is watching my brother-in-law delight in his children. In him (and my own father), I see a picture of the way God delights in us and allows men to reflect that aspect of Him.

4. Mention fathers and fathering in the pastoral prayer. Here is a sample Father’s Day prayer.

5. Have a special prayer time or time of blessing for dads. Resources include: A blessing for Father’s Day

6. Recognize the broad spectrum of fathering. A friend’s brother was recently left unexpectedly by his wife who took their young daughter with her. I’m picturing this man who would like nothing more than to see his family healed and restored; but on this day he is awakening to an empty house and there will be no dear young arms hugging him or young lips kissing his face. He is but one of many for whom this Father’s Day is different from years past.

In your flock you will have those:

who are faithful husbands and fathers (!)
who found out years later of children they never knew who were aborted (and they wonder about them today)
who have regrets in the ways they parented
who became first time dads and RADIATE joy like the sun
who lost children or grandchildren this year and the ache is so profound words are inadequate
who walk the paths of infertility but are supposed to be “the strong one”
who aren’t providing for their families in ways that they want
who encouraged their children to be aborted
who had horrific fathers are doing the best that they can
who love fathering and walk honorably in the role
who are co-parenting and are not able to be with their children as much as they want
who are estranged from their children both relationally and physically
who lost their father this year and feel like orphans
who did not grow up with good fathers and it has impacted their view of God
who long to be husbands and dads, yet find themselves single
who are proud of the men and women their children have grown up to become

There will be step-fathers, fathers-in-law, adoptive fathers, biological fathers, foster fathers, spiritual fathers and mentors. David had his mighty men and we have mighty, brave men in our midst too!

Ideas for Sunday School Teachers

7. (from Carolyn Barnetta) Not all children live with or even know their fathers. Perhaps they are being raised by a single mom or grandparents. Talk personally with the custodial parent or guardian before next Sunday, and ask them how they want you to handle the situation with their child. If you are making a gift for fathers in class, ask the parent/guardian if they would like to have their child make the gift for a grandfather, step-father, friend, uncle, etc. Then, the custodial parent will have an opportunity to talk with their child during the week. It will keep you from having to deal with an awkward situation that might embarrass the child.

Three “avoids”

8. No shaming, please. Some men will stay away from church on Father’s Day not-so-much due to the standing thing (that seems to be a bigger deal on Mother’s Day) but because of the shaming thing. There seems to be a double standard of honoring mothers and shaming fathers on their respective days. There are places to call any one of us on ways that we are not honoring our callings (and yes, fatherhood can be a calling), but this is not the day for that message. Pick some time in October or February or really any day but this one.

9. No standing, please. Either for fathers or men. It’s kind of a no-win situation. Let’s side step this one (and by implementing the above ideas, fathers are acknowledged and honored!).

10. No reducing fathering to being about food. OK, this one isn’t so much for pastors as for family members. It was a bit disappointing to see how much Father’s Day is about the food (at least on the internet) — what snacks can kids make for dad? What’s the best BBQ techniques and tools. I get that it’s June, we like being outside, and hey, who doesn’t love a good BBQ. But fathering is about more than this one aspect of men (see — and celebrate — the above).

Again, thank you for serving and shepherding us day after day. And remember, it’s not all on you; much is in the ear of the hearer combined with the work of the Spirit. Knowing that Father’s Day seems to be more about the food (at least according to my simple internet research), I’m praying for you as are many others in your flock, as you spiritually feed us.

Grace and peace to you, my brother or sister,

Amy

Here’s a resource for you: 14 Tips for navigating the messy middle of life.

Community, Faith, Personality

What free range animal do you think I’m most familiar with?

Y’all. Seriously.

Mother’s Day is going to become my new Christmas. I am like Sarah laughing at the absurdity of it all. Me, motherless as all get out. But which holiday is it that has brought joy and life and influence and people and exhaustion and tears and fist waving and reasons to eat cookies and did I mention joy– into my life? Mother’s Day.

Once again, God has smiled and said,”Here is a gift and her name is Abbie.” She left a comment wondering if I’d be interested in being interviewed on her blog and would I like a free copy of her book Celibate Sex: Musings on being loved, single, twisted, and holy that came out in March.

Well she had me at “free book.” Now, those of you who have been new teachers in the organization I work for and have had to sit through the women’s purity talk are smiling big at this point. Not only did she offer me a book, but it’s a subject I’m a wee bit well known for talking about! Can you see why we hit it off?

OK, this isn’t really Abbie, but after exchanging emails — it took me a while to get back to her and she graciously wondered if it was because Oprah had called. IF only! I just knew that if we WERE to have our picture taken together she’s have such a cute top on and really good posture. The interview came out last week but I was in the midst of sharing the high school commencement series.

Three reasons we hit it off — I love the name of her blog: Unsteady Saint. Hello! That’s me. She also said I have an “alluring way with words.” Well, now if doesn’t show how kind she is. AND we’ve both, at different times, lived in the same city in China.

Pop over to see the interview and you’ll learn:

1. Which free range animal I’m most familiar with

2. The hardest part for me being single, and

3. What it means to live a both/and life

Conversation With Amy Young (aka, the gal with 981 comments on her Mother’s Day post)

And just for fun, I start the purity chat with this video (if you’re in China, it’s worth finding a way to view it!).

Thanks Abbie!

If you’re single, what’s a hard part for you? Anyone: where are you being invited to live a both/and life? Final question: how many mice have you killed with a frying pan?

Community, Ending Chapters, Faith, Learning lessons, Personality

Beware the voices that whisper to you …

Welcome to the final part of the high school commencement speech I delivered two weeks ago. Part one reviews the rich tradition of women in our faith and part two looks at three women and the ways in which God used parts their childhood when they became adults.

You are off to a wonderful adventure – college. Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy! I loved living in a dorm, I loved walking on campus holding my books the way I thought a cool college coed did, I loved meeting boys, and wrestling with things of faith and watching my relationships with family members morph and deepen.

But the heart of my message for you as you enter college and embark on the rest of life your life is beware the voices that whisper to you …

The greatest call on your life is to be a college graduate or have an MA or a PhD

The greatest call on your life is to be a graduate from school XYZ

The greatest call on your life is to choose the right major

The greatest call on your life is to get the best job

The greatest call on your life is to find something fulfilling and useful to the kingdom and leave the smallest carbon footprint while documenting how cool you are on instagram

The greatest call on your life is to marry a God-honoring man

The greatest call on your life is to keep an amazing home and use it as a place to minister to weary souls

The greatest call on your life it to cure cancer or write music or teach school

The greatest call on your life is to return to China and use your childhood for His glory

The greatest call on your life is motherhood

The greatest call on your life is to die debt free and surrounded by loved ones.

There are echoes of truth in each of these whispers …

As we, your loving community, launch you into adulthood and celebrate all you and your parents have accomplished as represented by this high school graduations we say to you —

The greatest call on your life is to follow Christ.

Listen daily for the whisper that says “I am my beloveds and He is mine.”

You have dreams and plans that is good and wonderful. But even if you dream one day of being the “national teacher of the year” (the biggest dream I could have for myself at your age – and so self serving, :)), it pales in comparison to what God has for you. Your life will be like you think it’s going to be and different in ways you just can’t predict.

When Paul wrote to the Corinthians he encouraged them “I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!” 2 Corinthians 6:11-13

So dream, dream big! Go boldly! Laugh hard! Don’t stay up too late at night and beware of the unending desserts in the cafeteria (don’t miss them, just don’t become bff’s). Study hard, get involved in a church. Make friends. Chase boys. Call your parents. The world is your oyster and I’m excited to see how God is going to use you … but as wonderful as it is that you have graduated, I come back to … the greatest call on your life is to follow Christ.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

May the Lord make his face to shine upon you,
and be gracious to you.

May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you,
and give you peace.

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You can get the entire speech here. (Printable)

What whispers have you heard? What did you just love about college?