The Messy Middle

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Faith, Holiday

The Broncos and Hebrews

The last few years Chloe, my youngest niece, has been my Broncos buddy during preseason. Preseason is part of the initiation ritual of our family as the girls build up the ability to sit through and track with a full game.

(Not to mention the energy it takes to get to a game, get through security, and finally plop down in our seats. Worth it! But one does not magically appear at a game is all I’m saying.)

A few weeks ago was a beautiful fall day and her dad had things around the house that needed doing, so Chloe joined me for the regular season game. The full glorious enchilada.

Before the players run out on to the field, the cheerleaders form two lines that the players run through as they are introduced one-by-one. But the day Chloe attended, our beloved owner and a former player (Champ Bailey, who my dad loved and I tolerated) were honored for being inducted into the Hall of Fame.

As a part of the celebration, the Broncos introduced the top 100 players in the last 60 years. I’m not going to lie, I might have teared up. Seeing the wide range of ages, some from my childhood, some from my early adulthood, and a few are current players, was a time capsule of Broncs history. Two even hobbled in with walkers and stood to the side.

I kept screaming at Chloe—I wanted her to hear me and to understand part of the history—”Oh, that man is Grandma’s favorite!” or “He played when I was your age!” or “Grandpa would have loved this! I’m so sorry he’s not here, but I’m so glad you are!” Lots of exclamation points, friends. It was thrilling.

I about lost it when instead of the cheerleaders, the players formed two lines for the current players to run through as they were introduced.

“Chloe!!!! What a picture of Hebrews 11 and 12!”

Sports and faith, that’s me.

Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Issac, Jacob, Sarah, Joseph, Moses, Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel, and the prophets.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,  looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses.

The players ran past those who had gone before them. They ran past those who knew better than most of us in the stands what they had invested, sacrificed, and enjoyed as NFL players. They ran with endurance.

“Chloe, that’s a picture of heaven and those who have gone before us. And when you come running through the tunnel between life and death into heaven, look for me because I will be standing there waiting for you and screaming my head off.”

Can you imagine it, friends? The saints that have gone before us who will have also run the race with endurance? Today, on all saints day, I’m thinking of the saints we share—Hannah, Joseph, Mary, Paul—and the ones that are special to me and our family.

The Broncos players ran out with joy. And in a season like the one we are having, sadly not a great season!, the picture of the faithful saints is actually more powerful. It’s easy to run with joy when the victories are adding up, it’s another to run with joy when each step is an act of faith.

Regardless of whether you run with a spring in your step or feel that you are stumbling forward, we remember the cloud of witnesses, grateful that we do not run alone.

Amen?

Amen!

Holiday, Messier than normal

Beyond the surface of mothering

 

Love pushes us to see beyond the surface. The messy middle is made with stories where we see ourselves and people we know. People who

Like Eve, have children with serious rivalry.

Like Hagar, have been discarded for a new family and are mothering alone.

Like Naomi, have tasted the bitterness of a child’s death.

Like the mother of Leah and Rachel, knows what it’s like to have one child favored over another by society.

Like Hannah, have been separated from your child at a young age.

Like Mary, have a complicated pregnancy story or

Like Tamar, have tried multiple ways to become a mother or

Like Rachel, have counted the months and years while other women in your family and circle of friends become pregnant.

Who like Rebekah, are drawn to one of your children more than the others.

Like David’s mother, is raising children after God’s heart and though you rejoice in watching them, don’t want to rub it in friends’ faces.

Like Ham’s mother have children whose substance abuse can cause problems.

Like Bathsheba, have sick children who may die.

Like Joseph and Benjamin, experienced the death of their mother.

Like Mary, have children with public legal situations and all you can do is watch.

Like the Shunammite woman when told by Elisha she would become pregnant, replied, “No, please do not mislead your servant!” Like her, not wanting to open doors to hope, only to have them slammed in your face.

Like Hannah, have known the provoking of a family member.

Like many, watched their mothers age and waste before their eyes.

Like Moses’ mother, reluctantly gave up her child because it wasn’t safe for you to bring her child up herself. Or

Who like Pharaoh’s daughter, were called to love and nurture children that weren’t yours by birth.

Like Timothy’s mother and grandmother, are steadily and without much fanfare or recognition teaching your children about the truths of God, sowing seeds for eternity

Like the unnamed women who never quite fit into the norms of society, either never marrying or having children, yet wanting to.

You are in our midst. 

We are called to be a people who rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. A full life holds both.

~~~

More of the story. PDF of this.

Faith, Holiday

What do you focus on when you are afraid?

I am—to put it mildly—obessed with Christmas lights. The other morning I snapped this photo.

While maybe not the best photo ever, I was proud of the shadows on the wall. Playing around with angles, lighting, and distance, I could manipulate how big the shadows appeared. I also noticed that my eyes are drawn up and to the right. It was early in the morning and I thought, “Huh, that’s interesting” as my eyes kept drifting up and right. And then snap, a random comment I heard last week snapped into place in my brain.

We are able to multitask, but we cannot multi-focus.

It is almost impossible for me to focus on the tree and the “scary” shadows on the wall. Try. I’ve spent about thirty seconds trying and my eyes will either focus on the red light or the shadow. I can take them both in at the same time, but I cannot for the life of me focus on both.

What was Mary told when the angel came to her? Fear not, for you have found favor with God.

What was Joseph told in his dream? Do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.

What were the shepherds told when a ginormous group of angels appeared? In fairness, at first only one angel appeared and he said, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.” And then the rest of the gang showed up.

Fear not. Why?

In every instance, fear is understandable, even reasonable. But fear moves your eyes from what is real and known to the scary shadows. And shadows are not always an accurate reflection of reality. There can be great beauty in shadows, so the takeaway is not a simplistic, “Ah, if I can just eliminate shadows, I can danger-proof my life.”

Even though the phrase fear not is used, I do not believe God is telling us to deny natural responses to situations. Instead, just as you can see both the shadows and the red light, you know the fear is there, but the fear is no longer the focal point.

The angel invited Mary to focus on him and the message he came to deliver, not her fear.

In his dream, Joseph was invited to proceed with his engagement to Mary. The focus was no longer on how to deal with the situation or how to preserve her reputation or ways or what others would think.

Likewise, the shepherds were invited to focus on the good news, not their racing hearts.

This advent, pay attention to what you are focusing on. And if your eyes keep being drawn to the scary shadows of your life, don’t berate yourself, just adjust your focus.

It is that simple. And that hard. Thankfully, God loves our humanity. He does not weary in telling us to fear not. So, I will say it one last time.

Fear Not for the shadows of your life are not the full story. Instead, look for the Light. Focus on what is true, good, right, and trustworthy. 

Amen.

 

Faith, Holiday

When Resurrection Comes Slowly

Jesus died.

But death was not the end. Death could not hold him. Hallelujah!

Rising from the dead, he set us free from the sin that so easily entangles (Hebrews 12:1), we are no longer captives (Luke 4:18), and we are joint-heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17).

Jesus’ death and resurrection informs many of our core beliefs. And this is right and good.

But look at these examples, what do you notice?

Jesus died on Friday. On Sunday he rose from the dead, never to taste death again!

Lazarus died. Four days later, when even his sister was concerned about the stench, Jesus asked for the stone to be removed. “Lazarus, come out!” And the dead man came out.

Jairus asked Jesus to heal his dying daughter. She died. His friends said, “Why bother the teacher.” Jesus said, “Do not be afraid. Just believe.” He went with Jairus to his house and said to his daughter, “Little girl, I say to you, get up.” Immediately she stood up and began to walk around.

That’s what I’m talking about! Death over life. That is our Jesus! That is the power of our God! That is the story of resurrection.

But.

But I notice in all three examples that at most, it took four days and, in every case, resurrection occurs in a moment. Someone was dead, now they are not.

I believe Jesus, Lazarus, and Jairus’ daughter died and experienced resurrection. Even though it is not the norm, I believe God can raise people from the dead even today. I believe in resurrection. But instantaneous resurrection is not my story.

I live in the northern hemisphere so winter is waning. I was thinking about this post as I pulled up to my home, noticing the grass along the edges of the yard. What looks like a big-ol carpet of brown was beginning to have splashes of green.

Green!

Can I tell you how much my soul prefers green grass to brown? I bet your soul is the same.

I want Jesus to say to me, “Amy, do not be afraid, just believe.” And then stop by my home for a cup of tea and a chat. On his way in, he notices the grass and says, “Little grass, I say to you, be green!” And in an instant, it is, because He’s Jesus and if He tells you to be green, and alive, you can’t help it.

But when I review my life, this is more how resurrection has gone.

I have experienced death. Death of dream, a relationship, a hope, a project, a loved one. Something was taken from me and I experience loss and confusion and anger. I thought I would be THERE doing THAT. I planned that my life would look like THIS and it doesn’t. I assumed that my training meant certain doors would open, but instead they slammed in my face.

So, like you, I’ve tasted death.

Jesus has said to me, “Amy, do not be afraid, just believe.” Like Jairus, he has come home with me. But unlike Jairus, when he sees the death I have experienced, he has said, “Let’s make a cup of tea and sit in the front yard and watch new life return.”

I have tasted resurrection too, but it has not been instantaneous. It has been slow. It has taken months or years. Sometimes the old dead thing has come back to life in a new form. Other times, something different but good has come along. Life has come after death.

I see it! I celebrate it! I am humbly grateful for it.

At this time of year, we tell of His death and celebrate resurrection. Hallelujah!

If you are in a season of sitting with Jesus in your front yard, barely able to look at Him because the new life he is offering you is slow in coming, please don’t lose heart.

The stories we tell at this time of year can inadvertently confuse “real” with “fast.”

Resurrection is real. But sometimes it is slow. Jesus has not abandoned you, he’s waiting with you, anticipating the grass to change blade-by-blade.

(A version of this first appeared on Velvet Ashes)

Faith, Holiday, Just for fun

Which gift do you have? (I may have made one up)

Next Tuesday evening a local writer’s group I am a part of—Writers on the Rock—will come to our house for a Christmas party. We meet monthly, and while there is a social aspect to our meetings—we are after all, people—the time is spent with the guest speaker and the topic for the evening.

We decided in December that we would rather have a party than a meeting.

All sounds good, yes? Yes! Emphatically yes.

But.

You sensed a but coming, right?

To explain my “but” a bit of background will help. One of the ba-ziillion aspects of living in community I miss from my life in China is the ability to be a part of a community without having to actually host out of my own space. For about ten years I lived in a building that was part apartments, part guest house, and part office space. While it was a lot to require of one space and at times, this part clashed with that part—oh say, when I just wanted to be home, and a guest needed to borrow something out of my kitchen and then did not pick up on my non-verbal cues to take the pan and GET OUT OF MY HOME :).

For asking so much of a building, really it held enough space for each of the callings.

Living in a space that holds three callings at once taught me a vital lesson about myself.

I do not have the gift of hospitality. I have the gift of gusetpitality.

I love being with people. I enjoy parties and movies and events. Want someone up for a meal? I’m your gal.

But I want to do it in your space, not mine.

Alas, the bible doesn’t list guestpitality as one of the revered gifts for the edification of the body, but I think it should. All those who host, need people like me to host.

Back to the party next Tuesday that will be at our house for people I hold dear—my fellow writers. In November’s meeting I shared that the party would be at my house, and that I don’t have the gift of hospitality, instead my gifts are more in the organizing realm (thankfully, the bible values people who lead and cast vision and organize! See 1 Timothy 3. So, I’m not total dead weight on the Body of Christ!).

Thankfully, they know. And when I said the space will be festive and I’ll provide something to drink, but if they want food, they need to bring it, they know I mean it :). It’s good when we can be honest about who we are and what we can offer to each other.

One of the activities we might do if chit chatting isn’t enough is to write the Christmas story in eight words. Here’s one of my attempts:

Hope born  (by Amy Young)

The end is sure. The middle still messy.

Try your hand at one in the comments.

And whether you have the gift of hosting or the gift of guesting, may this month be one of connecting with people . . . even if you tell them they need to bring their own food!

Want to read more about my life in China? You can in Love, Amy: An Accidental Memoir Told in Newsletters From China

Faith, Holiday, Learning lessons

Why I love “We Three Kings” {even though I was screamed at}

This post was written two years ago and I still love it. Yes, let’s practice together. 

My favorite Christmas Carol is “We Three Kings.” Between the beautiful tune and the lyrics poetically telling why each gift is important, it is the only song I’d sing for my students in China. I’d make them all look at the lyrics saying I couldn’t sing if they were looking at me.

I have a new reason to love this song. My seven year old niece was in a Nativity play this year (OK, with me and her sisters) and she insisted on singing the line, “Frankincense to offer have I, incense owns a deity nigh.”

This line is now seared into my soul.

Seared.Star

Through tears of frustration she admitted (aka screamed at us) she had no idea what many of the words meant so how could she ever memorize it?! Um, precisely. This is why we all wanted her to sing the line, “Born a King on Bethlehem’s plain, gold I bring to crown him again.” But no, she wouldn’t have it. Would. Not. Have. It.

There were whispered practices in the bathroom with her sisters (whispered because this was to be a surprise performance). Whispered practices at meal times when in the hubbub she’d put her little face in mine and say, “Let’s practice, Frankincense to offer have I, incense owns a deity nigh.” Whispered practices in the car with her sisters.

She practiced and practiced to the point we can now all sing this line in our sleep.

When the moment came and she handed a candle to Joseph, she sang with utmost sincerity and accuracy the line she chose without understanding the meaning.

And can’t the same be said for us as well?

We may say we understand worship or the Holy Spirit or prayer or any number of elements of the faith, but do we? Thankfully through community and practice and, at times, screaming and tears we make progress and are able to do things that had been impossible for us.

Let’s practice together.

Behind closed doors.

In the hubbub of daily life.

As we travel.

Every now and then we’ll grab each others faces and say, “Let’s practice.” And together we’ll go over this part or that part of our faith.

We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him, even though parts of the story are beyond us.

Amen.

I’d love to hear of your favorite Christmas Carol or really any thought this stirred in you :)

Photo Credit: Sheila Sund via Compfight cc

Faith, Holiday

Rejoicing in the messy middle

rejoice

Two scenes from the book of Luke.

Scene one—A field outside of Bethlehem: It’s night. The sheep are dozing, maybe the shepherds are too. When what seems to be out of nowhere, a host of angels appear in the sky with both the most ridiculous and most wonderful and most confusing news to be given in the middle of the night. Then they break into song—as if the whole scene wasn’t disorienting enough—praising God and rejoicing over the good news.

Scene two—A celebration: After returning from a long day of work and asking someone what was going on, he learns the noise comes from huge calf roast for his brother. The man can’t believe his eyes and ears. In shock he refuses to enter. His father lovingly goes to out to his son instead of waiting for him to engage. The father reassures the angry, hurt son’s position and implores him to rejoice “because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”

What a contrast when it comes to rejoicing. Sometimes rejoicing is grand and easy. It just flows out. Other times, rejoicing seems to smack us in the face with a reality that we have a hard time getting onboard with. Truth be told, I don’t want to get onboard when the the smell of roasting calf adds insult to injury. Still, the Father comes to us and for reasons beyond our understanding and asks us to rejoice.

The messy middle is a place where Luke 2 rejoicers joins with abandon the heavenly host when they sing. But we know that not all of life evokes singing. So, the messy middle is also like Luke 15 where the elder brother felt the freedom in his relationship with his father to say what he was really thinking. I don’t know if in the end he did rejoice, but I do know the heart of the Father was to meet him where he was. That’s the Father’s heart for you too.

In this the third week of Advent, we are reminded to rejoice.

Is this year where the rejoicing is flowing? Or do you feel more like you are outside of a party you have stumbled upon?

(A version of this first appeared on Velvet Ashes and the image was designed by the talented Karen Huber.)

Book, Holiday

Hunger is a powerful incentive to introspection

hunger-incentive-560

In December of last year, the book club read Christmas short stories you can get on line. It turned out to be more fun than I think any of us expected! So, I thought this month I’d share a few of the posts with you.

Today we are going to discuss Willa Cather’s A Burglar’s Christmas. It’s a short story you can read by merely clicking on the link. No book to buy, no huge time commitment. But you might want to read the story before jumping in to the discussion.

I’ve done some research on Willa Cather and this story, so will talk about what I’ve learned for a paragraph or two so your eyes won’t inadvertently read about the plot :).

I have to admit I don’t know much about Willa Cather except that when I moved abroad and started teaching English my students wondered what I thought of My Antonia and I lost MAJOR FACE when I admitted I’d never read or (awkward moment) really even heard of Willa Cather. Hey, people I wasn’t an English major! I studied Social Studies and Math and just did the minimum for my English requirements. It was living abroad pre-internet and pre-social media that turned me into a “real” (whatever that means!) reader.

So, here’s a bit about Willa as a person (my eyes glazed over when I read about literary themes):

In 1896, Cather moved to Pittsburgh after being hired to write for the Home Monthly, a women’s magazine patterned after the successful Ladies’ Home Journal. A year later, she became a telegraph editor and drama critic for the Pittsburgh Leader and frequently contributed poetry and short fiction to The Library, another local publication. In Pittsburgh, she taught Latin, algebra, and English composition at Central High School for one year; she then taught English and Latin at Allegheny High School, where she became the head of the English department.

(I took a lot out here)

“Through the 1910s and 1920s, Cather was firmly established as a major American writer, receiving the Pulitzer Prize in 1922 for her novel One of Ours. By the 1930s, however, critics began to dismiss her as a ‘romantic, nostalgic writer who could not cope with the present.’ Critics charged Cather with failing to confront ‘contemporary life as it is’ and escaping into an idealized past. During the hardships of the Dust Bowl and the Great Depression, her work was seen as lacking social relevance.”

Today’s story, A Burglar’s Christmas was first published near the beginning of her writing career in Home Monthly in 1896 under the pseudonym of Elizabeth L. Seymour, her cousin’s name.

///

Okay, about to start discussing the story . . . don’t read further if you don’t want to read any spoiler alerts.

First of all, I totally missed it the first time through, but the main character’s name is William and the author is Willa. Hello?! And then I found online: “It has been argued by critic Sharon O’Brien that this rewriting of the prodigal son theme bears some resemblance to Willa Cather’s own relationship with her mother.”

I was a little pleased with myself that I had noticed the prodigal son themes! But we’ll get to that.

I loved this line: “He was miserable enough to want to be quite alone. Even the crowd that jostled by him annoyed him. He wanted to think about himself. He had avoided this final reckoning with himself for a year now. He had laughed it off and drunk it off. But now, when all those artificial devices which are employed to turn our thoughts into other channels and shield us from ourselves had failed him, it must come. Hunger is a powerful incentive to introspection.”

This year, how are you doing with the reckoning with yourself? There are many artificial devices we can use to shield us from ourselves, but at some point, they fail.

I could picture William trying to run away from himself. I thought it was interesting he spent much of the first part of the story mentioning food—we can relate, can’t we? How many gatherings do we somehow end up talking about food! The younger son in Luke’s parable also hit his breaking point with food, thinking of it as he cared for the pigs.

In the Prodigal Son, the younger son intentionally chooses to go home and throws himself on the mercy of the father and was willing to be a servant. In A Burglar’s Christmas, though the son may have hit bottom, he didn’t go looking for his parents. Instead he stumbled on them and actually robbed them (shall we say, robbed them again! He’d already robbed them of a relationship with him.).

But the mother, like the father in the parable, had been on the look out. She didn’t care what had happened, she just was happy to see her son. (Made me wonder what Willa Cather and her mother’s relationship was like!).

This is getting long, so let’s continue talking about this in the comments. What lines or phrases stood out to you? Is there anyone in your life that you’re on the look out for and hope they return to you? How did this story being similar to the well-known parable make you see both differently (this story and the parable)? What other thoughts or questions do you have?

See you in the comments!

Amy

P.S. Karen Huber designed the beautiful image.

Grief, Holiday, Relationships

For those who receive hard news around the holidays

This first appeared two years ago. Last year I wrote, “I’m reminded how each year looks different :)!” And then two days after Thanksgiving our church received a piece of news that sent us reeling. I find myself this week comparing what I knew/thought I knew on— say— Tuesday, of last year to what we found out. This is why we need this letter every year. We need to be anchored in a story larger than a season. Much love friends. Much love. Amy 

Dear friend,

I don’t have to tell you, it’s the holiday season. We have reminders surrounding us. I don’t care where you live, social media and the internet won’t let you forget.

You might want to. The holidays are supposed to be happy, but you’ve gotten news this week that has t-boned you and now you’re not sure which direction you’re going.

It was the day before Thanksgiving last year for our family. With one doctor’s report pieces both fell into place and scattered all over the floor.

So that might explain what’s going on. 

Oh my word, this … just … might … I do not want to say it because then it will make it true … be his last Thanksgiving. 

when-the-news-is-unwanted

Your news might be medical too. Or involving relationships or finances or your job or be about your kids or a pregnancy or a dashed dream.

So many ways bad news can enter a life.

I am sorry for the hit you have taken. The air that has been knocked out of your soul. The way you may have lost your bearings this week. And though you know you’ll (probably) recover from this, right now you’re a bit stunned. You may know deep in your gut this might be a game changer. You will bear the mark of this week for the rest of your days.

What you might not know right now is the size of the scar.

The news you received may end up fading over time. Or it may not. Our shock is over, but we still dance around the holes in our lives figuring out what they mean.

For you, what to do this week? When the message being projectile vomited at you from all directions is be thankful (OR ELSE).

That’s not the gospel. That’s not why Jesus came. Your pain is real. But your pain is not supreme. So, again, what do you do?

Embrace the messy middle. You may need to make adjustments this holiday. Change locations, scale back, maybe make a road trip. I don’t know what you will need to do.  Honor the holiday in some way while also honoring your pain. I am grateful for the memories I have of last year. They include Dad’s last turkey dinner at a dear friend’s house and texting with my sister afterwards saying how for both of us there had been tears. We were in shock.

The messy middle creates space for the good and the bad. The joy and the sorrow. The pain and the pleasure. You may want to deny what’s happened or deny the holidays. If possible, lean into the tension and find ways that real holidays involving real life are richer than the shallow versions offered by advertisers. A better cell plan isn’t the answer to a rich and fulfilling life, finding ways to make gestures towards each other is.

A few years ago part of our family was with Dad who was in rehab for a broken hip, and just as the rest of us sat down for the meal my phone rang. After I had spent most of the day on a situation involving a suicidal American in China, I was now going to miss the meal with my family because her mom had gotten my phone message. I had to break the news that would forever be associated with this holiday and yet she needed to know and be a part of the plan for her daughter’s safety.

Let me say it again — I am sorry for the news you received this week. Some years are harder and you’re having one of those.

It comforts me that Abraham Lincoln’s Thanksgiving Day Proclamation was written in the midst of Civil War. Clearly all was not right with the country. And yet.

And yet he knew in the midst of bad news it is worthwhile to pause and remember the story is bigger than this news, this week. God gave us two hands, one to hold the troubles and one to hold the hope. Use them both. Offer them both.

I will be thinking of you this week. And if you want me to pray for you or just want to share your story leave a comment or email me at messymiddle@gmail.com. We can’t make it go away, but we can let you know you’re not alone.

With blessing,

Amy

Cross cultural, Faith, Holiday

22 Gift Ideas for those you know in cross-cultural service

When I lived in China, I LOVED getting packages. This was back before so many western products were available and internet shopping was non-existent. My family used to ask me, well it was really more of  pestering me, if I was opening presents early. Is it a lie if it keeps them happy? And I got a present a day? Really? Did Jesus come to bring joy or more rules?

Though it may be hard to believe, Christmas is around the corner. If you have Christian friends serving cross-culturally abroad, and you want to get them something for Christmas, you need to start thinking of gift ideas.

I sound bossier than I mean to be :).

I hate to admit that a lot of money goes into packages filled with stuff that isn’t needed or wanted. But I still believe that supporters want to bless those they support with gifts. For those who do not want to send Christmas money this will give you a few ideas.

Specifically look at #12! I’m super proud and excited about #12.

mm-christmas-gifts

This list has been gather with an eye to what can help cross-cultural workers get to the field, stay on the field, transition from the field, or resettled for home assignments or reentry. Either choose something from the list or ask your cross-cultural workers what would be helpful at this point in their journey.

Books

1. Need a gift idea for your family? Parents of Missionaries: How to Thrive and Stay Connected When Your Children and Grandchildren Serve Cross-Culturally by Cheryl Savageau and Diane Stortz.

2. Returning Well: Your Guide to Thriving Back “Home” After Serving Cross-Culturally by Melissa Chaplin. Melissa also offers coaching packages for individuals and families.

3. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero.

4. As Soon As I Fell: A Memoir by Kay Bruner

5. THEM: The Richer Life Found in Caring for Others by John Certalic.

6. Transition Companion: Tips and Encouragement for Navigating Seasons of Change by Tim Austin.

7. Looming Transitions: Starting and Finishing Well in Cross-Cultural Service  by Amy Young.  Also the downloadable companion guides: Looming Transitions Workbook and 22 Activities for Families in Transition.

Retreats

8. The Well in Chiang Mai, Thailand offers retreats on a regular basis—including for transitions, couples, marriages, Advent, parenting, Art. Find one that fits what you need now.

9. Azmera hosts 3 Haven Retreats around the globe annually.These retreats are designed to impact English speaking women serving overseas from various nations. We also welcome other expats (full-time vocational workers employed by embassies, companies, military, etc.).

10. Thrive offers retreats that allow women serving cross-culturally to get away from their demanding work for a time of rest, renewal, and refreshment. The women are ministered to holistically – spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

11. A spiritual renewal retreat through the closest Life Impact Ministries Oasis.

12. Velvet Ashes Annual Retreat — each spring Velvet Ashes puts on a retreat for cross-cultural servants right where they are. Participants download files so they can listen the speakers, meditate on scripture, and enjoy other parts of the retreat. Guess what? You can  purchase previous retreats for $20 (normally they will be $25, they are on sale for Christmas) . . . and your friend, daughter, or worker can tend to their soul during this difficult time.

Debriefing Retreats

13. Abide (by TRAIN International)—This one-week renewal for those transitioning back into American culture debriefs the cross-cultural experience, explores reverse culture shock, and equips for healthy reentry into the home culture.

14. Debriefing and Renewal (part of MTI)—gives people the chance to reflect on their journey and engage with the Father about their story. Adult and child tracks available.

15. ELIM Retreats—provide spiritual debriefing, spiritual renewal, and pastoral care of the global worker.

16. Emmaus Encounter—provides a safe place for men and women of the Christian faith to process events of the past, so that they may grow emotionally, mentally and spiritually, and move forward in health.

Miscellaneous Ideas for Life

17. Couples, want to invest in your marriage? A PREPARE/ENRICH marriage enrichment assessment has been a favorite for those desiring to go deeper in their relationship (bonus if you are given coaching to go with it!)

18. Money toward an IRA or other forms of retirement savings.

19. Money ear marked for self-care in your city (or nearest city)—may include massage, meal out, night in a hotel.

20. Call around Christmas just to chat (not for a “report”).

21. Invite young adult kids of workers overseas to your home for Thanksgiving or Christmas—blesses them and is a great gift to their parents oceans away.

22. Pay for several session of Christian Coaching through CMI. Your gift could help someone to spiritual and professionally develop. Coaching services include for transitions, life purpose and calling, and support raising.

Which of these gift ideas do you guess is on their wish list? What gift idea would help them to get to, stay on, or transition from the field?

A version of this first appear at A Life Overseas.

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