Oneword Archives - The Messy Middle

What does an abundant year look like?

My word for 2016 was Abundant (you can read the back story here).

Abundant is the kind of word that breathes life, isn’t it?

The year, and the word, started off they way I hoped an abundant year would. Looming Transitions was published and did well. I had my first podcast interview—and have been on two others in 2016. Here I get to talk about one of my favorite subjects, books! My friend Joann and I were filmed for Serving Well in China, a course that prepares people for life and service in China. I helped plan and put the second annual Writers on the Rock Conference (sign up now for this year’s conference). Want to hear the whole Bible, 60 seconds per book? You can! Not sure where to start? How about Nehemiah (Part one and Part two)? I love making the Bible accessible!

Yes, yes, this is what being Abundant looks like. Endeavors paying off. Hours of work reaping rewards. Making a difference in the lives of others.

And then much to my surprise Looming Transitions birthed companion resources of the Looming Transitions Workbook and 22 Activities for Families in Transition. Ah, this is also abundance; a project going further than you had dreamed. Yes, yes, I quite like being abundant.

But over the summer, Abundant turned a corner and lead me down a side alley. I wasn’t sure where we were going; I looked over my shouldn’t once or twice wondering if I should turn around and head back to familiar roads.

In July and August Abundant taught me afresh that hope is risky, but it is also the well spring of life. Without hope, we merely go through the motions; in the effort to protect ourselves from pain, we also isolate ourselves from joy. I think I preferred my book having babies to having a hope dashed.

Abundant whispered that she also involves taking risks and opening yourself up to disappointment and confusion.

However, it was in September when my friend Mike died, leaving his wife a widow, his children part-orphans, and the rest of us never to hear his laugh or be engulfed in a bear hug; I thought, There is no way—NO WAY—I can claim my Abundant year as the year that Mike died.

Abundant doesn’t look like loss or pain or grief.

Again she whispered to me, “Amy, your understanding of being Abundant needs to be broadened. What you think you know of being Abundant isn’t wrong, it’s just limited.”

Hundreds of us gathered for Mike’s memorial service, including about 40 of us who had lived and worked in China. Being Abundant looks like a throng who drop everything to be together. To hug each other. To be in shock together. To say, “How can this be?”

And then Abundant reminded me that we will all be known for something, what will I be known for? The most used word to describe Mike? Love. It might sound trite; but in his case, it was shared that as a young Christian, Mike decided he wanted to be known for being loving.

Abundant reminded me to pick a point. Aim for something. Put your sights on a great goal.

In the end, we will all be known for something. What am I living my life towards?

Just before Mike died, I attended a writer’s retreat and we did Lectio Divina around Psalm 37 and I knew my word for 2017. Verily. Isn’t it lovely? Verily seems like another way of saying yes or indeed. But it’s the phrase Verily I Will Feed You that captured me.

I just wanted verily.

But I will feed you wouldn’t leave me alone.

Since October I’ve had a distracting infection that stubbornly wouldn’t respond to medication. After begin referred to a specialist, he said, “Well, I think you’re just going to have to starve it out of your body.” Words everyone loves to hear going into the holidays.

Wait, isn’t Abundant supposed to look like health? and not being in pain? Shouldn’t she involve words like feast instead of starve?

Verily, I will feed you.

Ah, this is why I have been meditating on being fed—for a couple of months before I enrolled in a personalized crash course in nutrition. Top on the syllabus? The foods I can and cannot eat—for now, Lord willing the extreme restrictions will end.

Abundant’s last lesson of the year involved how restrictions can involve freedom and creativity. The less I could eat, the more I enjoyed when we discovered a new few I could eat. I loved getting texts from a niece or a sister, “Hey, can you eat almond flour?” or “Can you eat sunflower seeds?” We have rallied around my diet, tried new recipes, and rejoiced at small victories.

I can testify it is possible to make it through Christmas, your birthday, and Chinese New Year without really eating what others are eating . . . and . . . wait for it, be fed abundantly. Feasting not just on food, but people, experiences, and their generosity.

Based on previous years, I can say that 2017 is going to bring me lesson on being fed (I still want verily but God seems to have fed for me. So God and I may each may end up picking a word for me).

“Verily,” I smile. “Fed,” He counters with a wink.

Do you have a word for the year? You might think, “Hey, it’s February, aren’t you late to the party?” Being Abundant also loosened the ties about when you “should” do something. :)!

Learning lessons, Oneword, The Church Year

Are you a slave to your schedule? {One Word}

Sometimes our worlds crash into each other. Epiphany played chicken with the calendar in my head. Both vied for my time and attention. I decided to ignore the calendar in my head knowing that to really turn this heart of mine towards The Church Calendar will mean small sacrifices.

I make it sound so dramatic.

It’s not that dramatic. It is just that even if I think I can live on multiple plains at one time, it creates a too full inbox for us all. And instead of being on this journey together I risk being the annoying passenger in the back. So, while I would normally share my word for the year near the beginning of the year, I decided the only reason this year I’d share it in early January was to avoid looking out of sync with the world.

That is not a very compelling reason, is it?!

I’ve shared before my four-year journey with choosing a word and why you should choose one.

I’ve gone from Renewed Joy

To cour_ge

To trust

To practice celebration

I love each one of them. They are like children to me, ask me to pick who is my favorite, and I can’t. I smile remembering how God brought them into my life. I also smile, because like children, they have surprised me. Almost without fail I thought I knew why God would, say have a year of trust after I left a well-known life in China after two decades. I thought He was going to show me how, if I would trust like Abraham and pick up and move, a new plan for my life would come about.

And then not one blooming month into that year, my dad died and I still had no clear life plan. The month of May came and the job I thought I’d get, I didn’t. Trust was “supposed” to be a reward for being a loyal servant and instead it was a yearlong reminder that trust is just that. Trust. Not a guarantee. I can look back now and say I’m better for that year and that word. But it was not what I thought it would be.

The word for 2015 was “practice celebration” and I again thought I knew what it would be – the cherry on the top, coming out of a longish, dark season. Instead, guess what I called the summer of 2015? The summer of resentment.

Though my personal stories about my one word journeys might sound a bit scary, I don’t want to scare you away from choosing a word, or have a word choose you. Please still do it. As I look over the words that have chosen me—renewed joy, cour_ge, trust, and practice celebration—they have become the simplest way for me to recall what the last four years have been about. For the lessons God has been teaching me, and the ways I see myself continue to grow as a person.

This fall, once again, at an unexpected time, when I wasn’t looking for it, God shared my word for 2016. In September I wrote about mid-story endings and how Brene’ Brown’ says that most of us finish stories with some version of “not enough.” As I reflected how I finish stories, I found I’m more of “I’m too much.”

When I told my friend, “If I had just been less” she saw the danger I was flirting with and lovingly said, “You are not too much, you are abundant. That is the truth about you. There is so much in you, so I don’t want any less of you, so don’t start doing that please.” She is British and this was in a Voxer message, so I re-listened to it multiple times.

To be told you are abundant in a soothing British voice is like having the Holy Spirit as a life GPS. When I told my friend how powerful it was to hear that spoken over me, she said, she remembered being overcome by what she was saying and sensed it was a holy moment.

Abundant.

If you look at my other words, they all have elements for something to do, but this year, this word, it about who I am.

I’ve been struck lately by how much scarcity thinking there is in the world. And how much there may be in me. I’m on full-time support. Will there be enough money? I’m publishing a book. Will enough people buy it? Our church is going through a rough time. Will it survive? The list could go on.

While this year will have disappointments, I look at “abundant” and see that if I really, deeply believe I am abundant because I am an image-bearer of the Most High God—if I really believe it—it changes everything. No longer is scarcity my default position.

Abundance is.

A year of this and it just might change my life.

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Have you picked a word? What was it? Do you believe you are abundant?

A version of this first appeared at Self Talk the Gospel.

Community, Faith, Learning lessons, Oneword

Practice Celebration :: One Word 2015

Regular readers know my One Word journey has meandered through Renewed Joy (2012), Cour_ge (2013) and Trust (2014). You can read a summary of the journey here.

This past year has been an odd season for me. Who am I kidding, most seasons are because life is not as simple as all good or all bad, resulting in odd combinations.

Understandably the most asked question of the last year has been a variation of How are you/your mom/your family in light of the huge loss of your dad?

I can’t imagine what it would have been like to not have been asked the question and yet I don’t have a simple answer. The truth is I’m fine, but it feels disloyal to my dad to say this. We miss him. I miss him. There are tears and moments of deep ache, yet life goes on.

The grief I experienced when my dad died was enfolded into a season of about three or four years of grief over loss that preceded and resulted in needing to leave China, my job, all my in-person friends, the Beijing subway, my home, good Chinese cooking cheap, my gym, the local park I loved to wander, and my specific China calling. Truth be told, by the time my dad died, I was worn out from grieving.

In part, due to his death and the massive transition I was in, friend after friend visited last year. It was a weird and glorious “this is your life” season. I cannot believe how many fantastic people are in my life and how many rich memories I have.

So while it would seem on the surface I was entering a season of grief, the truth is, I was coming out of it.

I am in mourning over my dad and there will always be a hole. But when I look back at where I was in the not so distant past, it is with extreme relief I see I am no longer there. Hallelujah! And it feels good. I feel lighter and bouncy and like myself again.

Coming through a hard season of life can lead to two temptations:

1. To create as much distance between where you are and what happened, never looking back. Think dog on a leash straining to get ahead. Pulling, pulling, pulling.

2. A reluctance to move forward, to be forever defined by the season instead of informed by it. Think Lot’s Wife who when told to “run for your life” looked back and became a pillar of salt.

God is inviting me into a season of a third option — call it the messy middle– practice celebration.

Part of my natural inclination is to move forward and, now that I am no longer in that difficult situation, down play it’s impact and just be happy I’m “back to me.”

The word celebrate seems inadequately shallow because I don’t want a party that says, “Woot, woot, isn’t it great I’ve come through a hard time!” It also feels too much about me.

Practice implies an element of on-going spiritual discipline. Practice involves a level of intentionality and repetition. Practice involves the private that will be offered to others.

I have no specific plans, but I’m inviting you to practice with me and maybe once a month we’ll share what we’ve noticed and experienced.

Already I have tried to capture the sparkle of the snow. I’m a fan of tiaras and this was like tiaras to the Nth degree! I know this picture fails in so many ways, but can you sense it? Do you see all the sparkles? Out in a field for no one and everyone?

My nieces got Settlers of Catan for Christmas but only adults had won. Saturday #2, #4, my brother-in-law and I were playing. #2 won! Fair and square and with no wink, wink nod to her. She won! After telling Grandma about her victory she wondered if she could text her mom (who was out of town) and ask if it was a convenient time to talk. If it wasn’t she’s text her she’s won, but if possible she wanted to let her mom know in person She. Had. Finally. Won!

The delight we took in her delight is but a poor reflection of the joy God takes when we celebrate well. Poor though it may be, it was fun to bask in!

All I know is this, I don’t want to strain ahead, forgetting where I’ve been. Nor do I want to become useless because I won’t move forward. Practicing celebration is one way to create space for both and lean into the tensions of this life.

What’s your word for 2015? Do you tend to strain ahead or look back too much when you’d come out of a hard season?

Oneword

Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out …

Remember how I wondered if God plays with us like a cat and mouse? And I felt stalked by God to choose the word trust for 2014?

As the year unfolded I found myself saying, “Oh now I get it God, that’s why you insisted like a nagging child at the grocery store that I pick trust as my word for 2014.”

I entered 2014 in the midst of transition as the boat carry all of my worldly possession had finally arrived, my dad was facing a host of medical situations (none of which seemed fatal), and a potential job I needed to wait until applications were accepted in May.

A season of transition seemed appropriate for trust, though I wanted a more exciting word.

It was a mere weeks into the year when the parent I thought I’d have for many more years to come, I didn’t. Ah yes, God, you knew. Trust is needed in the face of many decisions we’d need to make. Trust is needed as we reorient ourselves to this change in our family.

The job I thought I’d get, I didn’t. Ah yes, God, you knew. You knew that I am not one to leave a job without something lined up and certainly not in my mid-40s when I’ve been programed to be sensible. And then to not get the job?! Yes, trust was needed.

And as we rounded the corner, racing towards 2015 I thought I’d learned what I needed to learn from trust, I hadn’t. A deep personal layer was revealed a few weeks ago. Maybe the whole point for the word.

Between my personality and a stable childhood, trust has come easily to me. In December during a spiritual exercise we were asked to invite a part of ourselves that had left back to ourselves. I was promoted to invite trust back.

WHAT?

Hello? What’s been my word for the year? What have I been thinking about and exploring and intentionally weaving into my life? How much more invited can you be?

I had the image of a little wounded bird and as long as Jesus stayed RIGHT THERE, I was OK with trust. But, irony of ironies, I didn’t trust him to leave that little bird alone.

Several years ago my trust took a big hit, though at the time that’s not how I defined it. And then something similar happened to someone close to me in November. Fool me once, God, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I realized it wasn’t just two of us this had happened to, I had a short list. If dishonorable things are going to happen to honorable people, are we suckers for trusting?

Without overly sharing, I don’t need to do more to heal the little bird. The healing is up to God and I am freed to just be. I share this because I had not seen this coming when “trust” entered the picture over a year ago. God is gracious and unexpected and when he stalks it’s for our good. Ha :).

I’m very much drawn to the word God has shared with me for 2015 and want to race ahead to it. But in honor of what will come to be known a year of great growth and transformation in many areas, I pause here and reflect on trust.

What was your word for the year? I have no doubt the year (whether you had a word or not) held surprises for you too :). What was one?

Faith, Family, Oneword, Trusting Tuesdays

Taco Bell, I Didn’t Expect This Gift From You! {Linkup}

Remember in May when I gave a shout-out to Denver’s Botanic Gardens and the Chihuly blown glass exhibit? Just to feed your soul a bit, here are a few pictures:

I know right? How does he do it? How many injuries are there with blown glass? So many questions.

Thank you to my friend Gloria for this picture. She has also lived in China so didn’t mind I was pushing the rules a bit by leaning in. Wait, it might have been her idea in the first place.

It really is a stunning exhibit. It’s also open at night and lit up. Wow. Just wow. Here’s one:

Saturday was one of those near ideal evenings (other than the crowds). The weather was lovely, everyone was in a good mood, and then we added to the mix what that man and his team can do with glass. There comes a point where “stunning” and “Wow” and “Oh I LOVE this one” lose their power and wordlessness speaks more profoundly.

On the way home Mom and I had peeled off from my sister and her family. We were sitting at the final stop light before we were home when Mom said, “Oh look … never mind.” It’s amazing how quickly our souls got used to looking for beauty in the dark. Out of the corner of her eye she had seen the pink and purple of a Taco Bell and for a moment her soul fluttered.

That is the power of tuning in. You start to expect and see things you might otherwise have missed. And suddenly a Taco Bell can be a reminder of an evening spent with beauty and loved ones and nature.

I felt a turn in my soul this past month when it came to my word for the year: Trust. Months of intentionally noticing have paid off with a settling in my being. It’s like after spending time intentionally looking at blown glass in the dark, you now seewhispers of it outside the walls of the garden. No, I don’t have trust all figured out (and this is part of the joy of the adventure.).

But if you haven’t chosen a word for the year, how about choosing one for the season. There is power in focusing on one aspect or word. And there is paradox. For I no longer see “trust” in the expected places, I’m starting to see them in the so-called Taco Bells of the world.

What might your word for this season be? Do you love Taco Bell as much as I do? Have you seen an art exhibit at night? So many questions, I know :).

Here’s the deal for the link-up:

Every third Tuesday I’ll host a link up. Trust + Tuesday + Third = three T’s and I don’t have to mark my calendar with different dates! Just remember TTT. The next one will be on October 21st and you can get more details here. The link up will be open for one week, after one week, you’ll need to wait until the next month.

Please link back the link-up, either by using the Trusting Tuesday picture or simply a text link.

I’ve also started a Pinterest Oneword365 board and want it to be a community board (meaning let’s have our Oneword365 posts all in one place!). Check it out!

If you miss a month, don’t beat yourself up. This will go on for the next twelve months and isn’t meant to overload you or make you feel guilty. We’re going to be a group of cheerleaders.

[inlinkz_linkup id=449115 mode=1]

China, Community, Oneword, Trusting Tuesdays

A fool, a word, and The Giver {link-up}

Sometimes we are spared from our own ignorance.

When I first taught in China I was assigned a class called Selected Reading. To keep me on my toes, there was no textbook and in the pre-internet era I had to find short stories in our small English library and weekly make copies; cutting and taping and learning the difference between what fit on paper that was sized A-4 (bigger) or B-5. It was fun, yes, but also exhausting for this non-English major who doesn’t really enjoy short stories.

(Hey, we can’t all like everything.)

In the spring I decided to choose a Newberry awarding winning book as my “selected reading” and chose The Giver.

If you just gasped recalling WHERE I was teaching and WHEN I was teaching and WHO I was teaching and WHAT the themes of the book are, you are ahead of the game. Unfortunately I didn’t connect the dots until several weeks into teaching it. I longed to teach something of content that built on itself and lead to deeper conversations, not push buttons. Buttons I didn’t know a hoot about at that time. (Here’s a summary of the book)

Amy, do you think this book is anything like here?

Oh. My. Word.

The memories flooded last week as I watched the recently released movie The Giver based on the book by Lois Lowry. I recommend it (and truthfully cannot figure out why it’s rated PG-13).

The Giver refers to a person whose job it is to keep all of the memories for their community and when the next “Receiver” is chosen, the Giver shares things like color, emotions, even sledding. Ultimately the Receiver uses the memories to help the leaders as they make decisions.

Why would an entire community be wiling choose sameness?

The leader of the community explained, “When people have the freedom to choose, they choose wrong.”

To protect from people choosing wrong, the community was willing to forgo all that is good and fun and right. It made me appreciate afresh the risk God take by trusting us with choice. And for trust to truly require trust, it must have risk. If you know the outcome, if there is no choice, it’s not trust.

Those students I taught are now in their late 30s and 40s. Much has changed in the ensuing years. I wonder how many of them will see The Giver title in DVD stores or on-line movie places. I wonder if they will remember the English class and reading a book that we probably had no business touching. But when trust is present, all kinds of foolish and naive mistakes of an earnest foreign teacher can be overlooked.

Trust is risky. The Giver gave back to me afresh last week, and I am grateful.

When have you been spared from your own ignorance? Have you read the Giver? Did you like it?

Here is the preview:

Photo credit ttarasiuk via flickr

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Here’s the deal for the link-up:

Every third Tuesday I’ll host a link up. Trust + Tuesday + Third = three T’s and I don’t have to mark my calendar with different dates! Just remember TTT. The next one will be on September 16th and you can get more details here. The link up will be open for one week, after one week, you’ll need to wait until the next month.

Please link back the link-up, either by using the Trusting Tuesday picture or simply a text link.

I’ve also started a Pinterest Oneword365 board and want it to be a community board (meaning let’s have our Oneword365 posts all in one place!). Check it out!

If you miss a month, don’t beat yourself up. This will go on for the next twelve months and isn’t meant to overload you or make you feel guilty. We’re going to be a group of cheerleaders.

[inlinkz_linkup id=436845 mode=1]

Learning lessons, Oneword, Trusting Tuesdays

When your desires are a bit unseemly {Oneword365 Linkup}

You know I love books, so when my friend Kim posted on Facebook at the beginning of the year the best book she’d read in 2013 was Consider the Birds by Debbie Blue I sought it out. Almost immediately. I respect Kim’s opinion and the book looked intriguing.

A provocative guide to Birds of the Bible.

This will go on my fav books of 2014. The biggest gift this book offered me was the reminder to slow down and pay attention. Are there really enough birds mentioned in the Bible to warrant a book? A book that isn’t tedious and trying too hard? Do birds mentioned in the Bible have that much to offer us? ~~Even~~ especially those of us who are non-birders?

Yes, yes, yes. Though a book about birds, it’s really about the life of faith.

As a brief sample, the first chapter is about the pigeon — purity and impurity. Chapter three (one of my favorites) is about the quail –desire and slavery. And the last chapter, chapter 10, on the raven — failure and trust.

It turns out humans are more like ravens than other types of birds. I loved the way she ended the chapter and the book:

“It’s one thing to believe God feeds the little pretty birds of the air. They have small appetites. They need a few seeds. Everybody loves them. It’s not that much to feed. They do not seem needy. But what if you’re ravenous?

“Is the hope that God will feed you as long as you’re not that hungry, as long as you don’t need that much? God will feed you sure — if you have the appetite of a little dove, as long as all you need is seeds, dry little seeds? The hope is not so proscribed.

“God feeds the ravens, the ravenous, the mixed-up greedy glutton carrion eater. That’s saying a lot more, somehow — something more shocking, maybe than God’s willing to give bird food to light eaters. And how much more will God feed us? We need a lot. A lot of food and attention and love and healing. The world needs a lot. And I don’t think I usually believe that God will feed us all. Jesus seems crazy here to me, unreliable, like, how can we even listen to him here? How can we model ourselves on the raven, like the lilies — it’s lunacy to ask us to believe we will be fed.

” What if we could trust that we will be fed?”

She nails it, doesn’t she? I think most of us believe that if we have nice, dainty, reasonable appetites when it comes to purpose, relationships, our physical bodies, even provisions we want, if we keep them small and non-imposing enough we can expect to be “fed”/ heard.

We have been formed by the messages we receive from the world about how to make friends and influence people, how to put our best food forward. But being in relationship with God isn’t like going on a first date, we don’t have to monitor how much is on our plates, how generous we are with the tip, how interesting we may appear.

Sure, God likes the those parts of us too, but part of trust is that he can handle and respond in love to ALL the parts of us. The shiny parts that clean up well and the parts that we are too exhausted or worn down or depressed to care. What if we could trust that we will be fed?

I read this chapter earlier in the year and it was only recently in telling someone about the book and flipping through it I thought about ravens in light of my word for the year, trust.

This month, the lesson trust has offered me is the raven. Mathew says “consider the birds,” Luke says “consider the ravens.” This month I have been.

How hard is it for you to trust you will be fed?

P.S. Thanks Kim for the recommendation! And for those who love a good forward, this one is written by Lauren Winner!

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Here’s the deal for the link-up:

Every third Tuesday I’ll host a link up. Trust + Tuesday + Third = three T’s and I don’t have to mark my calendar with different dates! Just remember TTT. The next one will be on July 24th and you can get more details here. The link up will be open for one week, after one week, you’ll need to wait until the next month.

Please link back the link-up, either by using the Trusting Tuesday picture or simply a text link.

I’ve also started a Pinterest Oneword365 board and want it to be a community board (meaning let’s have our Oneword365 posts all in one place!). Check it out!

If you miss a month, don’t beat yourself up. This will go on for the next twelve months and isn’t meant to overload you or make you feel guilty. We’re going to be a group of cheerleaders.

Photo credit by Douglas Brown via Flickr

[inlinkz_linkup id=427522 mode=1]

Learning lessons, Oneword, Trusting Tuesdays

Trusting Tuesdays {Oneword365 Linkup}: Trust influencers

First of all, hi! Second, WOW I love your responses to the survey. Thank you thank you thank you! You are a fascinating people. I’ll share more later. But I am honored and encouraged by your answers.

You know how we all have parts of ourselves that ~~might~~ get blown out of proportion? Well, this blog is one of mine :)

In an effort to “be a responsible blogger” and “handle your trust well” I’ve been afraid to take a break. And not completely without reason. The reality is numbers have been down this week a bit.

But we believe in things that can’t always be seen or measured or weighed. Right? Right! And so in terms intentionally inviting Trust to be in the driver’s seat and telling Fear to “shut-up and stop your back seat driving,” I think responsible blogging can involve breaks. I don’t think fear will ever move completely out of the car — and that is OK. I’m getting better about recognizing her whining voice from the back seat, “Are we almost there?” and to let her know that she’s welcome in the car, but not to drive it.

While gone, I read most of Brennan Manning’s Ruthless Trust. Let me come clean and say, I may be the only person who deeply appreciates the person and contribution Manning has made to living a life of faith, but The Ragamuffin Gospel is one of the few books I only read half. Then on his blog Shawn Smucker’s said “Manning’s examination of ‘trust’ in this book changed the way I live my life. I cannot recommend it enough.”

Trust + live changing book = must order from the library.

And I’m thankful I did! Like Shawn, I recommend it. In terms of this year’s journey with Trust, there is an equation (and my mind can remember equations).

“Faith arising from the personal experience of Jesus as Lord.

“Hope is reliance on the promise of Jesus, accompanied by the expectation of fulfillment.

“Trust is the winsome wedding of faith and hope.

“In Luke’s Gospel, the centurion professes his faith in Jesus with the words, ‘Sir, I am not worthy to have your under my roof,’ and hope in his promise, ‘but give the word and let my servant be healed’ (7:7). Then, ‘taken aback, Jesus address[es] the accompanying crowd: “I’ve yet to come across this kind of simple trust anywhere in Israel.”‘ (7:9, The Message)

“Faith + hope = trust.”

Trust can’t be reduced to a simplistic formula, but as I’ve taken this one out to test drive it in reality, I can the ways in which it’s simple enough to help me get at the root of what may be going on.

Am I having troubles with faith? With hope?

Later in the chapter Manning says, “Like faith and hope, trust cannot be self-generated. I cannot simply will myself to trust. What outragious irony: the one thing that I am responsible for throughout my life I cannot generate. The one thing I need to do I cannot do. …. What does lie within my power is paying attention to the faithfulness of Jesus. That’s what I’m asked to do: pay attention to Jesus throughout my journey, remembering his kindnesses (Ps. 103:2).”

What a gentle relief that trust isn’t related to willing or my actions. Instead, it’s related to a whole-hearted, broader approach to life. To paying attention to what Jesus is doing. To look for kindnesses. To taste and see that the Lord is good even though life is hard.

The above photo was taken when a niece called out, “Aunt Amy, take a photo of this ladybug! Hurry!” And then I took this one just to be sure I had captured her vision. “Did you get it? Did you?”

Yes dear one, I did. More than a photo, Jesus is using girls and joys in bugs. He is extending kindness to me in a stead stream of moments.

Where have you seen faith and hope help build your trust recently?

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Here’s the deal for the link-up:

Every third Tuesday I’ll host a link up. Trust + Tuesday + Third = three T’s and I don’t have to mark my calendar with different dates! Just remember TTT. The next one will be on July 24th and you can get more details here. The link up will be open for one week, after one week, you’ll need to wait until the next month.

Please link back the link-up, either by using the Trusting Tuesday picture or simply a text link.

I’ve also started a Pinterest Oneword365 board and want it to be a community board (meaning let’s have our Oneword365 posts all in one place!). Check it out!

If you miss a month, don’t beat yourself up. This will go on for the next twelve months and isn’t meant to overload you or make you feel guilty. We’re going to be a group of cheerleaders.

[inlinkz_linkup id=417512 mode=1]

Faith, Oneword, Trusting Tuesdays

Trusting Tuesdays {Oneword365 Linkup}: Is trust like a roller coaster ride?

For those of you new around here, on the Third Tuesday of the month I host a link-up for Oneword365 (people who have chosen a word for the year. Mine is trust and you can read about the year so far: January, February, March, April). If you want to pick a word, it’s never too late. Link-up or comment — any way works!

Congrats to Jennifer who was notified as the winner of one of Emily’s canvases!

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I had seen this street sign pulling into town. When I left town, I was ready with my camera (and even did a U-turn on the empty street to get this photo).

At first I thought, yes, this is the life of trust, is it not?! How perfect to even have a picture for it. The idea of up’s and downs, twists and turns, being scared and exhilarated resonated with trust. And all of that IS true about trust.

Here’s where the metaphor fell short. Roller coasters come with known beginnings, endings, and time frames. And the real kicker – you end just feet from where you started. The main unknown is how long you’re going to have to stand in line to ride, but even that can be gauged when you get to the roller coaster.

This month, with this picture in mind, I’ve been thinking about how much I wish I could tame and control trust and have a few more built-in guarantees and knowns. But that’s not life, that’s an amusement park ride.

Trust is being willing to leave the confines of the amusement park and go rafting down the Grand Canyon of life.

I just removed two paragraphs about an upcoming opportunity that is no longer an opportunity.Talk about seeing why God led me to the word and intentional life of “trust”. Hi God, again, I would have preferred “fun” or “movies” :). But trust it is.

That’s what I love about out small community here at The Messy Middle, you too are drawn to living this life of following rivers, going to new territory, and not just getting on the same ride over and over, ending up where you started.

What’s going on with you and trust? What amusement park rides do you like?

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The year with trust … thus far:

January whispered trust uses both hands. She holds the present in one hand and the long view in the other.

February joined in with trust can build a bridge others walk on.

March offered a legal life lesson. Trust doesn’t happen in a vacuum; ultimately trust is about relationships, valuables, and legacy.

April (with taxes) reminded me we all have trust triggers and mine is money.

May showed me trust is more like rafting than riding a roller coaster.

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JUST TO KEEP YOU ON YOUR TOES

The next linkup will be on the third THURSDAY of June (I’ll be out of town on Tuesday) — I trust you’ll be able to roll with this :)

Here’s the deal for the link-up:

Every third Tuesday I’ll host a link up. Trust + Tuesday + Third = three T’s and I don’t have to mark my calendar with different dates! Just remember TTT. The next one will be on June 19th and you can get more details here. The link up will be open for one week, after one week, you’ll need to wait until the next month.

Please link back the link-up, either by using the Trusting Tuesday picture or simply a text link.

I’ve also started a Pinterest Oneword365 board and want it to be a community board (meaning let’s have our Oneword365 posts all in one place!). Check it out!

If you miss a month, don’t beat yourself up. This will go on for the next twelve months and isn’t meant to overload you or make you feel guilty. We’re going to be a group of cheerleaders.

[inlinkz_linkup id=406976 mode=1]

Just for fun, Learning lessons, Oneword

Eight things I learned in April

Emily Freeman hosts a monthly link-up called “What I’ve learned this month” for both the silly and serious things we learn. All kinds of learning! I’ve been meaning to do it since January, but ya’ll know how my life went down a different path than planned. So, April it is :). I learned …

1. The DVR may accidentally record a new show and you’ll like it. This is how I discovered Mr. Selfridge in the second season.

2. Golden Shanghai has delicious, authentic Chinese food! The Chinese friends who ate with us agree =). Not sure if being far, far away from me is good or bad. Probably both.

3. Four months into hosting the #Oneword365 monthly link-up, there are folks who’ve been linking up from the beginning. The slow, meandering unfolding of a word in their lives is helping me slow down myself.

4. I’ve worked with editor before, but this month I have a post I’ve been working on (check back Thursday) and had a small group of friends/editors look at it – WOW, did their input take it up a notch! Editing is good!

5. Grief is so very individual. I’m finding (and this won’t be a rocket science announcement here), many of us approach other people’s grief through the lens of our own experience. I sometimes feel a bit guilty I’m not doing worse than people expect. Or by not doing worse I’m dishonoring how much my dad meant to me. Life really does go on after loss. And it’s OK. And that doesn’t mean you didn’t love someone or they didn’t impact you or you don’t miss them. OK, so that’s a whole love of lessons in one point.

6. I spoke at a Senior Monthly Luncheon (really, many of the people were quite elderly). I’d been told to keep my words to only ten minutes and not to be surprised if people didn’t listen to me. I spoke on several myths about China and the vast majority of the 190 or so present tracked and seemed rather engaged. Afterwards as I walked around the room, while they ate lunch, many wanted to keep talking with me (and I even got a kiss on the check from a lovely widower). Here is what I learned – they were engaged because they were approached as human beings. Not talked down to. They have lived rich full lives and just want space to share their stories and be reminded of their lives.

7. At Monticello I learned tulips used to be much shorter, but have been bred to have longer stems for vases.

8. Keep up with gardening. You can’t really take a year or two off. I’ll leave it at that.

9. And one from March – Hire someone to record the funeral or memorial service of your loved one. We did, but we thought it was for the purpose of family members who weren’t able to attend my father’s service in February. In March, when a friend was visiting and she also hadn’t been able to attend, Mom and I watched the service with her. Later we commented how helpful it was to watch again when we weren’t in the midst of it. So, yes, record for those who can’t be there; but even if everyone is able to attend, record it for yourself.

How about you? What’s something you learned in April?

What does an abundant year look like?

Are you a slave to your schedule? {One Word}

Practice Celebration :: One Word 2015

Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out …

Taco Bell, I Didn’t Expect This Gift From You! {Linkup}

A fool, a word, and The Giver {link-up}

When your desires are a bit unseemly {Oneword365 Linkup}

Trusting Tuesdays {Oneword365 Linkup}: Trust influencers

Trusting Tuesdays {Oneword365 Linkup}: Is trust like a roller coaster ride?

Eight things I learned in April

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